Is this child abuse? I need help.?

Question

I am in the middle of a divorce. My 7 year old son has been telling me of several incidents over the last six months regarding his halfbrother (age 14) who i raised for 13 years.

According to my son, my ex frequently fights with his 14 year old half brother. On New Years, my ex tackled him, dragged him by his feet. My stepson sustained rugburns on his arms.

About 3 months ago, my son also said his brother was backtalking, and his dad grabbed his brother, twisted his arm to where he was crying saying, "its coming out of the socket."

Last week, according to my son, my ex threw a shoe in my stepson's face. My son didn't witness it, but he said he heard a loud thump, then heard Matthew cry out 'you hit me in the nose with a freaking shoe, dad'.

My son denies any altercations with his father. He is only witnessing what is going on.

Unfortunately my ex is a well respected physician in the community and I worry noone will believe me. He is so convincing in public.

Answer 1

First of all, I am so sorry to hear all of this. How sad! That is most definitely abuse, and to be completely honest with you, it made me sick to my stomach to read this...something needs to be done. Call Child protective services. No child should have to suffer that way. You might call a child abuse hotline to talk to someone and see what advice they might have...they might have good resources for you there. Good luck to you, and if you choose to pick your own best answer, would you please just add an extra comment to let us know what happened if you have made a decision at that time. Thank you. I will say a prayer for him and for all of you.

Answer 2

What you have described is basically playing with the exception of the arm incident. Since there appear to be no injuries sustained then child abuse would be hard to prove. It appears that the stepson and his father have a good relationship and he is not afraid of him judging by what the boy tells his dad.

I think you may be taking the words of a 7 year old who is perhaps angry and jealous of the 14 year old and trying to make something out of it that doesn't exist.

Answer 3

If you think that this is happening by what your son tells you then it probably is and you should do something about it. I do not care how well respected he is abuse is abuse and non one should abuse a child for no reason. One day just ask your ex or have your son ask his dad if it's okay that his half-brother could spend the weekend at the house. And when he comes just record him without him knowing and ask him questions about what's going on and if he does not talk have your son convince him to tell you what is going on, and then take him to any clinic and have them run tests most likely a free clinic so he would not know tell them what you think is going on and report him and as long as you have the tape and make sure that the boy is okay to testify he will go to jail for good. If possible try to take temporary custody so he can be in a safe environment and where he can be loved unconditionally. Where is his mother doing all this she as well should go to jail along with her husband.

Answer 4

No self respecting adult would act this way with any child. Yes it's abuse if the stories are accurate. At age 14 boys tend to be some type of challenge to an abusive father. It's like they are the closest thing to a man but not able to defend themselves so they're an easy target. My oldest son went thru this with his Dad after our divorce. Believe me if I could go back I'd have more of a backbone and fight for my children instead of playing the silent victim. Go get'em girl

Answer 5

I'm sure you are really confused on what you need to do at this point and time. You can speak with your step-son and find out if he will verify the facts that you son is telling you. If it is true I would report it to the authorities. If your step-son denies any of this happens and you dont believe him and really think that this is happening, most states have an anonymous phone number that you can report information to and they will investigate the allegation. This is an important matter if it is true and it seems that your son doesn't know what to do and trusts you to make a decision. Please do the right thing...if your ex is hurting his son this bad, it won't get any better. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Sounds like child abuse to me, a spank on the bottom or something is harmless but if your dragging you kids by there feet and twisting body parts that is overduing it and would for sure be labled child abuse, you need to find a way to get him away from his dad and stop this, it could get worse and he could put him in the hospital one day, i don't know how you want to handle this, you could try talking to him first, talk to your son first, the one that is having these arguements with his dad, and see how he feels about it, ask him if he feels his dad is being to rough and if he feels like he's being abused, his answer right there will tell you what you should do, ....but you don't want to feel bad not doing anything if by chance one day he gets very very hurt, so don't just look past it, look into it and see what needs to be done.

Answer 7

Does he have a wife? You really can't jump to conclusions about this because its a serious thing. Sometimes children exagerate and they also assume if they don't see it exactly. Especially at age 7. Are you able to talk to the 14 year old? I would document everything your son tells you and date it. Its best to gather all the facts first before making conclusions.

Answer 8

(This is obvious-- at least to me) But it sounds like your ex needs some coping with teens counseling. It's good that (as far as you know) he's not reacting to your child that way.

Being the parent of two teens and two toddlers I can say that if you don't have good coping and controll skills you are in for a world of hurt when it comes to teens.

It's much easier to deal with a younger child if you are used to "being in control" but it's shocking and almost unbearable when that child realizes that they have the control by not doing what you (he) say.

I'm not trying to defend him. I'm just identifying for your purposes of awareness.

The shoe thing was way out of line and I think it's within your rights to amicably/positively discuss other resources like space or counseling with your ex.

If you are in a position to handle this situation with class and tact it would be great for ALL the kids.

Answer 9

tackling and dragging a child (14 is still a child in the eyes of the law), bending and twisting an arm, throwing things at the child are all considered abuse. It wouldn't matter to me how well respected he was or what his profession, I would still call CPS.

Answer 10

I am a Police Officer in the state of Texas and yes that is abuse. The first step would be to call the police. Even if your son does not admit to it they will investigate. The second step is to call CPS. They will also start their own investigation. Please always remember a child is to be heard, seen and believed. Protect our children.