I'm 26 and been with my guy 2 years, and he says he's not ready to think about where he'll be in 30 years...I thought after 2 years you should kind of know where you want the relationship to go. Help!
2007-07-15 17:17:13 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband brought it up after two months of dating and gave me a ring after 7months. you should have a good idea by 6mo-1.5yrs that's only normal
2007-07-15 17:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by i love being a mommy! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like all the others said... it doesn't really have a time limit or anything. However, you need to get in touch with your intuition. Does he even want to get married? Does he say anything about marriage. Or does he refrain from having anything to do with the word.? It's only been 2 years but as long as you know he loves you and he's in this for the long haul.. then you are okay. On average I would say at least 2-3 years. I noticed that after 2 years it's either up or down hill. With all the divorcing going around the nation I wouldn't rush into anything even if I thought I really loved that person. If you get any vibe that he's JUST not AT ALL thinking about marriage then ... there's your answer. AT 26 he doesn't have to have a 30 year plan with you. He may be thinking about it but not ready to say... only you can tell what kind of vibe he's putting out. What do your friends say. Listen to your fam and friends.. sometimes they can see things you can't. Also... don't lie to yourself.. be real. I know so many girls that are insistant on "getting" a guy to really like them. YOU WOULD KNOW IF HE WAS TOTALLY INTO YOU. IF you have to convince yourself of anything then chances are things aren't going your direction. HOPE this helps.. take care!
2007-07-15 18:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Two years is a good milestone. You see in two years you have given the person enough time to show their true self. Nobody can fake being the right person for that long. Most guys do not like getting married. To be honest I think marriage is a girl thing. All it is is a piece of paper. Marriage does not guarantees anything in my opinion. If I wanted to cheat on my wife or if she wanted to cheat on me there is really nothing stopping us. Thats not to say that marriage is a bad thing. All I'm saying is not for everybody.
You being 26 I can see why you are thinking about marriage. 26 is a good age to get married. You are starting your carrer and are young enough to start a family if that what your plans are. What you must realised is that he may have different ideas. He may not want to get married but that doesn't mean he never will. I think what you must analise is what is your relationship like. Do you have a strong commited relationship? If no then maybe you might be better off with someone else. If yes then marriage may not matter. My parents did not get married until I was 14 years old. Then they got divorce a few years after that. I think like 4 years after. They still live together. Crazy eh!.
What I'm trying to say is that there is no set maximum amount of time. A minimum is good though and I think you have passed that stage. I mean there is no standard maximum time. It all depends how important is the paperwork and documentation to you. If the person is not commited to you he won't be either with the marriage paper. Commitment is not about a paper but about behavior, affection and actions.
2007-07-15 17:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by mr_gees100_peas 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat. I have been with my man for 5 years and still he doesn't want to get married. Sometimes guys are just a little afraid what the future will hold if they get married and don't want to think about it. Have you talked your man about marriage? If you have and said he doesn't know then try this one... Talk about getting commitment rings. Its not like a promise ring at all because you are committing to be with each other for the rest of your lives. If you live together and have been for over a year or something like that then by law you are already married and the rings are just there to kinda make it official. Then maybe one day he will want to really get married and off come the commitment rings and the gold. Hope this helps
2007-07-15 17:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people do not like the idea of commitment - not even the idea of questioning when exactly you have to commit, or what actually makes a couple 'committed' to each other. Consider yourself lucky that he is still with you, loyal to you, listens to you..etc.
30 years is too much to ask for - most people only think 5 to 10 years down the road. What is the point of planning so much when things change most of the time? Look back at your own life - did what you wanted to do at 15/16 turn out as it was supposed to be?
2007-07-15 17:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by bronzedgal 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depends on the people I guess. My husband and I dated about 7 years before we got married. Our choice. We were not in any rush. We had our careers going, buying our home, just starting out life as we wanted to do it, figured ahh the wedding can wait and it did, but that worked well for us since that is what we wanted to do. Even dating 2 years theres lots to figure out about a person. My husband and I have been together a total of almost 11 years, we still find out things about each other. You never stop finding things out.
2007-07-15 22:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by Һסρε 2ӨӨ8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is different. I can't really anwer anything directly to your questions, because some people need as long as 10 years of dating before they get into a marrige (my parents) and it can also take as short as 3 months of dating before the guy ask the girl to marry him (my aunt - married for 23yrs now) So I guess everyone is different in their own ways. But i personally would say 2-3 years is about right :)
2007-07-15 17:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly: when you start dating each other. Most people over 30 know right away.
Most people make up their minds after a month or two.
Your guy is not ready for marriage.
2007-07-15 17:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by Tara662 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well girls are very different from guys. Girls can be more dedicated in a relation. I've been with my BF for 4 years now and he just finally propsed to me this New Years.
2007-07-15 17:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by ladee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know him at least 1 year and see how he treats his Mother which is an indication how he'll treat you.
2007-07-15 18:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by munchkin53 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long enough to know ALL of their faults, their habits, their little quirks and to know for certain that you can tolerate ALL of them for a lifetime. If you can't then it's time to move on.
Obviously your "guy" doesn't WANT to get married right now. He has every right to decide that for himself, since it is HIS life.
2007-07-15 21:47:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋