we have been married 35 years before he told me.how do i trust again
2007-07-15 16:40:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Huh???
Your husband cheated on you with his stepsister at year 10 but has just told you in year 35???
Why did he do that??? Did you suspect anything?? Was he forced to tell you??
I hate it when GUILT is the catalyst for telling about cheating. How unfair that can be to an unsuspecting spouse!!!
see www.marriagebuilders.com (infedility) and www.ivilliage.com (betrayed spouses support).
SEEK Individual counseling and start concentrating on YOU right now. You don't have to start trusting him right away. He has to EARN it back by following specific steps.
2007-07-15 16:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by makinitthru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bleech with the stepsister. Forbidden fruitcake. It was 1982 long before Jerry Springer. 7 year itch? Still, with stepsister, bleech. It happened once 25 years ago. Sorry is as sorry does. He didn't do it again. I have had equal numbers of men and women tell me they did it once. Not with a stepsister, bleech. That's something new. My advice was never under any circumstances tell the spouse. Go and sin no more. They felt really sick about it. If they knew how bad they were going to feel, they would not have done it. Well, now you know. It's up to you but that in the family thing, bleech, adds more barf factor to it. It's going to take time.
2007-07-16 00:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Kathleen b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You trust him by measuring the years he wasn't unfaithful. If he cheated 25 years ago and has been faithful ever since then he probably just made a mistake and isn't a cheating lost cause. Take things one day at a time. Maybe this is a new door opening for you because now you know he trusts YOU enough to be totally honest about the past.
2007-07-15 23:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he do that the first 10 years of your marriage or the last 10 years? The solution is different.But after 35 years;I imagine love is there.
But the problem is the trust.he has to promise you a new thing starting today or....you know what to do.
2007-07-16 00:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, rephrase the question...are you saying that after you guys were married 10 years, he cheated on you with his step sister? So, now it's 25 years later??? Was it a one-time thing? If so, it's in the past...leave it there.
2007-07-15 23:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's absolutely horrible. I don't even know what to say. If i were you I would not try to trust him, but rather try to get away from him as quick as possible. He's a pig.
2007-07-15 23:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by Yulia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is terrible and may i say weird. i am young and not married so i dont know how it feels. you should ask him why he did it and why with her. if you forgive him kiss and make up. but if you still think hes a total jerk tell him its time for a break.
good luck.
2007-07-15 23:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by ashley d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot unless he stop it for good. I feel for you since infidility is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage. Goodluck
2007-07-15 23:47:57 · answer #8 · answered by leyte02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..
so to him his stepsister would be just like a real sister
thats a little incest dont you think?
2007-07-15 23:57:54 · answer #9 · answered by x..Cassie..x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes to keep it in the family....jeez.
Was he unloading his guilty conscience on you?
How do you trust again....I don't know. What else is he keeping to himself?
2007-07-15 23:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋