would you still date a guy even if his house was a mess?

Question

I want to sound stuck up but I just recently met this guy off a dating site about three weeks ago. We finally met and I went to his house after the date. He is a really geniuine guy. He's very sweet and compassionate. Everything I wanted in a guy. He lives with his parent because he is still in college. But when I went to his house it was a different story. It wasn't nasty but it wasn't the cleanest either. Then he has bugs which grossed me out. Some people say you should judge a book by its cover. But if you knew we were coming back to your place why not already clean it up. Am I being to dramatic about this. I am going to feel very uncomfortable if we do keep talking about coming to his house. What do you think?

Answer 1

He lives with his parents...this is obviously how they choose to live...he knows no other way...

And the scary part? They may have cleaned for a week to get it to the point it was at!

Answer 2

What's the big deal? I'm a stud and I can tell you with all honesty that my house (trailer) is a dang wreck. There's old pizza boxes and crusts all over the place, I haven't taken the garbage out in over a week, I have a huge burn hole in my kitchen wall where the neighborhood racoons get in, I have a beer keg that I use for a TV stand, I had to shoot a racoon in my bedroom a few months ago and there's still guts and blood splattered on the wall, dust is everywhere, my dishwasher broke over a year ago and the dirty dishes are STILL in it, I haven't changed my bedsheets in over six months, I have to use a plunger every time I flush my toilet, I used a pair of my old boxer shorts to wipe out the microwave oven last night, I have forgotten what color my kitchen floor is supposed to be, my Christmas tree is still in the living room (minus all the needles), there is a trail of 'Roach Proof' running along every wall in the house, my crazy ex wife #2 threw a can of pepper spray (with the trigger taped 'on') through the window awhile back and the smell was an improvement, last night I saw two fireflys in my bedroom, I can't find my clothes hamper and my shower feel sticky all the time. I don't let all that stop me from being a Love god -- if women have a problem with my toenail clippings on the table or roaches climbing on the ceiling then they should clean it up for me.

Answer 3

He still lives with his parents? This can be a warning sign! He may feel entitled to have certain things in life, or think he is above manual labor! This is really BAD!

PS. If you are sure that's not his problem, be comforted by the fact that most guys' places are pretty messy. But if he's making no effort to tidy up, and that is really important to you, then let him know and teach him how to clean. Most guys have no idea how to clean, so this is really good for him.

Answer 4

Eww! The bug thing sounds gross.... Anyway, it's not like you're gonna marry him or something. It's just dating. So if you're gut tells you that you like the person, then I think you should not avoid him just because of his messy room. And when the date gets you far to "you know what i mean", then I suggest that you suggest your place. In the subject of love, I think loving a person is not about you or him being perfect for each other. I think it's about knowing and accepting the imperfections of the other person. Change is not bad though, as long as you are changing someone for the better, and as long as it does not get to the point that his/her principles and personal belief get invaded.

Answer 5

You said he lives with his parents. Nobody should have bugs in their home. They (or he) should have cleaned up before you got there. Did he seem surprised by the mess or apologize for it? If this is the norm for him, you are not being too dramatic. Let him know that you were surprised when you went to his home. Try to be kind and concerned. Let him know you are uncomfortable about going back. It is one thing to have clutter, but another to be dirty and have bugs crawling around. I know I couldn't relax in those surroundings. Is it possible that one or both of his parents drink or are disabled? You need to know before you decide whether to keep seeing him.

Answer 6

Being "untidy" is one thing, but having bugs is another thing. They come from just plain not being clean. I couldn't stand eating & being around a situation like that on a daily basis. There certainly are enuf things on the market you can buy to get rid of bugs etc. & if they're that bad, you'd need an exterminator. BUT, you certainly could get rid of them. I would have been embarrased to bring someone to my home knowing the situation the house was in. I think if the sitation comes up again about going to his home, somehow you could just mention you didn't feel comfortable sitting around watching bugs crawl around the place. You could ask him if anyone has done anything to try to get rid of them. Depending on his answer, you just might want to reconsider going forward w/this relationship before it gets any deeper & either of you get hurt. Cleanliness begins at home. Anyone who is particular w/their personal cleanliness surley wouldn't want to live like he is living. I would think they would want to make an impression w/someone on their first visit to say the least. If he doesn't even notice it, that's surely not a good sign. I'm just being honest for your sake. Sitting here talking about it just made me start scratching my head!!! Good luck w/this. It's either going to be, or make it or break it.

Answer 7

hi when i first met my fiance, he was still living with his parents too, and you have no idea what that was like! im not just talking about bugs!! it was hard to suck it up and just sit on the lounges or get a cup to drink out of cuz they were so dirty but i fell inlove with him for him not because his house was a mess ....now.. even if he was a homeless bum i believe that i would still love him!..

look its not the best thing, i know but since he's still living with his folks it may not be his fault, the same as my fiances... he would try and try to clean the house up ALL the time but everytime he did, no one would appreciate it and mess it straight back up anyway, not to mention what the animals would do!!.!!!

all im trying to say is, if you like him give him a chance

i did and look where i am now... im the most luckiest girl in the world to be with such a sweet heart who really does care....

Answer 8

All guys are messy. If it werent for women then clean wouldnt exist. Guys clean for their girls, not for themselves.

Bugs is a big problem. Those kind of roommates are totally preventable, and indicate bad neighbors or very poor kitchen hygiene. Either one of those should scare you.

If he isn't clean before the marriage, he wont be clean after it.

Answer 9

properly you stated it became not a pig sty yet in straightforward terms slightly messy. regrettably a honest variety of adult adult males tend to not save their living areas immaculate as they view issues distinctive so a sprint messy is not any massive subject. notwithstanding, the bugs properly this is purely creepy and makes my epidermis circulate slowly except they are like the prevalent ants, spider or different trojan horse that each and every so often wonders in from exterior. As he is going to varsity living with parents isn't that vast of a deal; notwithstanding, i don't think of i'd be spending a lot time there.

Answer 10

tell him you are comfortable in his house or ask him 'when do yall clean up'...to him and his family it may be NORMAL and they assume everyone else leaves things around the house at times and ~eek~ have bugs.

Just be honest and upfront about it. tell him the impression you are getting simply because of the way his house looks and that OTHER PEOPLE may get the wrong impression too.