Would you tell your hubby the truth how you loose your virginity knowing that he is a very jeolous person. I have lied to him when we were dating and he didn't suspect that he is not my first one. Should I tell him the truth now. We are married for 20 years already.
2007-07-15 15:50:41 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well it's been 20 years, what is the point of telling him now?
2007-07-15 15:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what will happen should you decide to tell your husband what you have admitted on here:
1. He will absolutely feel that he has been living through a lie for the last 20 years.
2. He will wonder what else you have lied to him about durring your marriage
3. He will find it extremely difficult to believe a thing that you tell him for quite some time to come.
4. He will feel hurt that you married him under false pretenses.
Man I could go on and on. But I figure that this should be enough for you to wonder to yourself, "Would it really be worth it?" I vote for keeping it to yourself. Why hurt your husband of 20 years like that?
2007-07-16 02:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question is a judgment call on your part...you need to weigh the pro's and con's..It's not something that is damaging to him if he knows however, it may change his way of viewing your trust...It could raise a question in his mind that this may not be the only thing you lied about. If it bothers you to the point that you can't stop thinking about it then you should discuss it with him for your own sanity. Don't let something eat at you...you deserve happiness too.....If it bothers you enough you will feel obligated and do it....if you are okay with forgetting about it then put it in the past. Regardless, you shouldn't be judged by anyone because of who has taken your virginity. It sounds like your husband fell in love with you for being YOU....The virgin part is merely a fantasy...It makes NO difference in anyone's life. Choice is up to you..GOOD LUCK!!
2007-07-15 22:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been married 20 years, your Virginity is no longer an ISSUE,
What you should be focused on in is the future, Read a few of the relationship books listed below, ESP WOMAN POWERS GREAT BOOK>
or His Needs, Her Needs,
Either one can help you improve your relationship in marriage.
God Bless
2007-07-15 22:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian and believe in the truth BUT after 20 years I would not tell him. Go to your grave with it... don't let him know that you have lied for this long.
2007-07-16 00:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope....why confess the truth now??? It's irrelevant at this point. But it's also sad that he would be jealous of an event that happened over 20 years ago, especially when he's the one that married you. That says a lot about him.
2007-07-15 22:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by wendy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Telling him the truth now would make you look like a liar for the last 20 years. Then he will start to wonder what other lies you have told him over that time period--even if you didn't tell any!
Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-15 22:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by getusedtoit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you out of your mind,how would you react if your husband told you that you were not his first nor his second or third but really didn't no what number you were . That's the way he is going to take it if you tell him.He will think you lied about him being your first so why not lie about how many men you have slept with.
2007-07-15 23:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have told him the truth 20 years ago. Why would you bring it up now? I don't see the point.
2007-07-15 22:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are who you are, and your past is your past. Everyone has something in there past they are not proud of. If everything has been fine for 20 years just leave it alone. If you feel guilty about not telling him, one day when he is NOT around pretend that you are talking to him and spill the beans. This may help relive any guilt. Best of luck to you.
2007-07-15 23:01:55 · answer #10 · answered by itsa b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after 20 years...... i couldn't see how it would affect anything..... so what you lied........ i'm sure he has lied about something himself............
if morally you feel like you're doing something wrong: tell him. after 20 yrs, i don't think that would break a marriage.
if you think that telling him is something you should do but don't really need to tell him: Don't tell him, there is no need to start an argument over something you could have avoided.
2007-07-16 02:01:55 · answer #11 · answered by BrenBren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋