Need more romance....but how?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have a great son and another on the way, due next month. The problem is that for the past month or two, there really hasn't been any romance, sex for instance. We both work different hours, but there are times, when we could fit it in, but either I'm too tired from chasing a 2 yr old and being pregnant and I actually don't feel desirable. I haven't gained a lot of weight (19 lbs) during pregnancy, but I've tried saying stuff like to try to get in the mood, but it doesn't work. Talking to him doesn't work alll the time too. What are your thoughts? What should I do?

Answer 1

I am married for over 23 years and life is not neccessary easy, especially for a woman. I experienced myself that when I took my husband for granted, I almost could have lost him. You being pregnant (you might not believe it), having HIS child in you, you might be more beautiful in his eyes than you ever can believe. Don't turn him away in believe that you are not desirable. Besides, he still have his needs and if you turm him steadily away, he might be looking for sex somewhere else. MAKE TIME FOR HIM, you might touch each other, he still needs to feel being loved by you. Give him a massage etc. and not just a talk...... I made the mistake when my kids were absolut everything (they still are) and I let down on my husband. He turned almost jalous torch his own kids and we almost broke up. He absolutely needs to feel that he is not the 5th wheel on your car........

Answer 2

Kids take a lot of energy out of you. It takes more effort. But romance is like a campfire. It starts with little sparks and flames, then becomes a roaring inferno. But it will die back to glowing embers, and even go out, if you do not throw some more fuel on the fire. (We learned this in marriage counseling 30 yr ago.) You have to make time for each other, even if only a few hours or even minutes. When the kid goes down for a nap, or grandma takes him to the park, use that time. We had a detached garage off of an alley. We would hire the neighbor girl to sit for a couple of hours while we "ran errands." But the car never left the garage. (I realize that car sex is almost impossible when 8 mo pg. LOL) Our counselor gave us a small metal cannister and a book called "101 Sexual Positions" or something like that. In the cannister were little slips of paper numbered from 1 to 101. Once a week we would pull a paper from the can and try that position. We didn't like them all, but had a lot of laughs trying. The bubble bath was fun until we knocked her razor off the side of the tub, cut her leg, and ended up in ER getting stitches. When one of us has a birthday, the other has to go naked all day. We play miniature golf for "penalties. We took an 8 week course in massage offered at our local hospital, then took the 3 week graduate course in erotic massage. Romance doesn't always have to include sex. Just walking together in the park, with the kids, but holding hands did wonders. We have naked TV or video nites. Not porn, just a movie we want to see, but we watch naked on the couch. When ever we got a new piece of furniture, or lamp. or ??? we would christen it by having sex on, under, or beside it. Try every room in the house, and don't forget the stairs. Make if fun. All this is prob more than you wanted to know, but you asked....

Answer 3

You should pick a time when you're both home & see if you can find a friend or relative to take the 2 year old. Take a scented bath and relax. Think about how much you love your man. Then after the bath, slip into something soft and beautiful. Then pounce on him....

I remember what it was like. I was preggers with my 2nd when my older was about 2. It was hard to find the time and energy. It's worth it, though.

Answer 4

When the mood strikes you, then charge forward. It should be easy to put him in the mood, even when he is asleep.

Answer 5

May be your husband is being careful, and don't want any problem with you or pregnancy.