Okay, this is the story: I drove 5 1/2 hours to go pick up my 15 year-old step-daughter, and we had a GREAT time (at least I thought). My husband had to leave for a couple of days (he owns his own business and had to fix some equipment located in a town close to my step-daughter's house) and was leaving her in my care. She told my husband that she didn't like me, didn't want anything to do with me, and didn't want to talk to me and even called her mom to talk her mom into coming to get her.
When she called her mother, she said, "I don't like her, and I don't like him." She did this is the presence of my 6 year-old son and eight year-old daughter--my son started crying because he thought she was talking about them. She caused a lot of problems with my husband and my husband's ex-wife...I have tried to stay neutral.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years.
What would you do in my situation??
2007-07-15 14:50:51 · 4 answers · asked by futureteacher0613 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay Neutral, and be consistent with standards. If you start bending now. she will get the message, that she can manipulate you guys.
2007-07-15 14:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably see about doing a meeting with dh, ex-wife and the step-daughter. I would probably even have a counselor there to help out with the discussion. See if you can work together to ferret out what's going on with her.
Let her know that from your perspective that it looked like all was going well (give specific examples of why you thought that) and that you're hurt by what she did.
Make it more about her than about you. It sounds like she might be going through something. 15 is a difficult age, she's not mature yet & might be having some kind of difficulty in her life that is causing her to react this way that may have nothing to do with you, your husband or your children.
You'd also be right to let her know that the fact that she said it in front of your younger children caused them some worry and strife and that, in the future, you'd like it if she could have conversations like that privately away from your children.
I hope this helps
2007-07-15 22:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by StacieG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let her mother drive the 5 1/2 hours to get her and maybe by the time her mother gets there even her mother will be tired of her acting like a spoiled brat and do something about it.
2007-07-15 21:58:37 · answer #3 · answered by sara r 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps his daughter was so disappointed in her dad having to go somewhere else to work, while she was down for a visit, that she was upset enough to just want to go home? It wasn't really you that she was mad at, but the situation. Perhaps she was telling her dad that she didn't like you, in the hope that HE would stay with her?
She didn't come to visit you, but her dad, and he wasn't going to be there with her. Please don't take this to heart. I don't think she meant to hurt you, she was just lashing out because she was hurting.
Do you have the heart to try again?
2007-07-15 22:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋