I have been divorced for 1 1/2 years. I have reached the point of indifference towards my ex wife....?

Question

I want to move on and do what is best for the kids who are 6, 11 and 13. We have opened up dialogue but still she is not ready to sit down and discuss important issues. The kids want changes in visitation, discussion of vacation times and that kind of stuff. Why go through the courts when two adults should be able to work this out among themselves?

Answer 1

How could anyone possibly doubt your obvious desire to do what's best for your kids? You seem so reasonable and mature you restore my faith in my fellow men. But, forgive an old fart's suspicious mind. Was there any particular reason that you failed to mention, even in passing, a reason that ex wife you are now so indifferent about could possibly- no matter how unreasonably, think you are a gold plated butt head- based on things that she is, of course, totally wrong about? And, could it possibly be that court would be ust a bit inconvienent, since they are so fussy about child support? I apologize if I'm wrong, but your question made my bs detecter beep.

Answer 2

What is best for your kids would have been to stay with their mother. Not a fan of divorce, but do understand that sometimes there is a good reason and no other way. You would be still married if the two of you were two adults who could work things out. Therefore, you'll probably have to go through the courts.

Answer 3

I agree with you. I have been divorced for 2 years and I know exactly what you mean. My ex is void of any emotional substance and when I want to discuss what broke us up, (and it is about as big as you can get without an actual conviction) or his visitation he shuts down the conversation...yet he will call me and tell me that he still loves me and wants me back. Our boys are 14, 12, and 9. One instance recently is now that it is summer we split the summer 50/50 uninterrupted time, but he won't honor that on my end saying that I don't need it because I have full custody. It is the same for both parents, but if I tell him that I have bent over backwards to accomodate him more than what he gets according to the courts, and that works for him. But when he tries to tell me that I don't get equal time in the summer and I tell him to bugger off he tells me that I am crazy and he is going to take them away from me.

It sounds like our exes are perfect for each other. LOL

Answer 4

I have had the same problem. You need to call your ex and tell her you would like to figure some things out together one parent to another, if she is resistant let her know that you want whats best for the kids and if you can't work together you will need to get the courts involved. My ex husband and I had a real hard time for about 3yrs on what we were doing with our son. Sometimes we couldn't talk and would argue and not speak to each other but we finally just accepted the fact that we were not together anymore and we didn't need to like eachother but we still were our sons mom and dad and we needed to put our differences aside for his sake. There is probably still some unresolved feelings she has and just be as patient as possible and she will hopefully deal with it and be able to communicate with you, it sometimes just takes time. Good Luck and just remember not to make this about you and her always keep it about the kids and whats best for them. My ex and I are now really good, he has his life and I have mine and we are just trying to be good parents to our son.

Answer 5

That is pretty bad that your kids are willing to work better than your wife.

Here you go, how about send her a note with the boxes "yes" or "no" checked, then she can just pick.

Sheesh, tell her you will go to court. Usually attorneys give a free consultation and it might be in your best interest to spend a couple hundred bucks to show her you mean business.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

Well if she isn't open to it then there is no other way be through the courts. Its a shame.

Answer 7

"should" is the key word here.