Everyone says be who you are but..?

Question

is who you are (deep down inside) how you naturally behave or how you WANT to behave??

for example, if i am shy (since birth) naturally but deep down i want to be outgoing and flirty (and i CAN be if i try!) who am i really?? do i try to change my natural shy self into what i want to be or just be the shy person that i am? (whom i don't want to be, i want to meet new people!)

thanks in advance folks!

Answer 1

I think life experiences tell you who you are. You might try being outgoing but then realize it's not who you are, so then you know. I think we also make assumptions about ourselves because of no life experiences in a certain area or because of negative experiences. I think you realize and know who you are by just living and taking an honest look at yourself.

Answer 2

this goes back to the classic argument of nature vs. nurture. is your shyness a result of how you were brought up (nurture), or is it how you naturally are? is your potential to be flirty & outgoing a product of nature or is it a result of your upbringing?

i believe that everyone is born with either an introverted or extroverted personality type. your shyness is classically introverted, but it seems like that's pretty much how you are naturally. if the flirty & outgoing (extroverted) traits are a bit of a challenge to you, i think that you're probably not naturally that way.

there's good & bad in both personality types, so don't stress if you're more comfortable being the follower in a crowd. i'm the same way. it takes all kinds to make the world go round. =)

Answer 3

The problem with trying to follow that advice too closely is that everyone has different facets to his/her personality, and some contradict each other. You can be a shy person with the ability to be outgoing. Being who you are, to the extent it means anything, means accepting - and even embracing - both of those attributes. Shy people need not be recluses; finding comfortable places with which (or people with whom) to let go can overcome your usual inclination toward being shy. Both of those can be part of you; you need not choose between two parts of you when "being yourself." Trying to define yourself by defining parts of you away is only going to limit who you can be.

Answer 4

Well, your "trying to conquer shyness and being flirty" is actually also a part of you....isn't that right?

Where do you draw the line between "natural" and "unnatural" behavior? If you label yourself, then I'm thinking that the list would be pretty long.

You're constantly learning, changing, molding, experimenting and contemplating. That makes the real you. It's a continuous thing.

Answer 5

You are a decedent of the first man called Adam. He passed along many traits of human creature through his blood line all the way up to you. Each generation passes along that which became a part of man. Some got more parts then other. All in all you are made up of the parts of all. In this you have become as you are and there is no one like you in this time of life. However it is possible to change who you are by the reprogramming of ones mind. It's a matter of practice and input of one's mind. God called it Repentance. Changing one's mind.
Mar 1:4 John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins.
and Jesus said
Luk 5:32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Answer 6

Remember, it doesn't have to be black and white.

You explained yourself perfectly. You don't have to be either shy OR outgoing. You are sometimes shy and you can be outgoing if you want. So you are both things. You are how you act now, how you want to act, and who you will be in the future.

(also, other people may not "know the real you" unless you tell them. But if they only know you are shy, that isn't necessarily who you are. Don't let others create your identity.)

Answer 7

perhaps you are a not so shy person who acts shy, who hasnt learned how to let their inner self out easily, or perhaps your a shy person who has times of extrovertness, dont think you must be one or the other, plus remember you are creating who you are, so the person today will not be the person of tomorrow, and you are both, how you act naturally, and how you want to behave, find your balance

Answer 8

i've been struggling with that problem for years but just recently i discovered myself and who i truly am. be who you want to be and don't let anyone change that. stay true to yourself and if u don't want to be shy, change that. know what i mean? I know, it's all a little confuzzling but it does take a while sometimes to find out who you are. I think that who you are is both who u naturally are and how you want to be mixed into one. i can't really describe it, but I hope you find who you are and answer your question on your quest.

Answer 9

My advice is to try different personalities. Find the one that you like the best. Over the years I tried all kinds of personalities (tip: the one where I was quiet, moody and angry did NOT work!!), going back and forth to see which ones I liked the best. Now I am serious, strong, quiet. It works best for me. I get respect from others. And bad guys do not bother me.

Answer 10

well, that's a tough one.
i guess that youa re shy, however,, you are someone who wants to be outgoing. i guess it depends on why you want to be outgoing.
if you want to be outgoing becuase you want t overcome you shyness, then that is being yourself because you are doing it for you.
if you want to be outgoing because you think people will like someone more outgoing rather that a shy person, you are not being yourself because you are doing it for other people.
as long as you make desicions for you and no one else, you are being yourself.