How old were you when you first lost a person you loved? Does age have anything to do w/ how easy it is 2 cope

Question

I have never lost a person i've loved. My nana died when I was younger but I dont remember her at all.

I'm not scared of death, my own, i'm scared of losing people around me that I love. Mainly my mum.

Do you think If I had experienced a death that I remembered when I was younger, that I wouldn't have this fear? Or is it just a personal fear I have.

How old were you when you first lost someone? How did you cope? Do you think if you lose someone when you are older it's easier to cope? Or should I be thankful that if in this time of my life I do lose someone I was blessed enough to have spent a lot of time with them.

Answer 1

I think your better off not having lost someone already,put it this way it does not make further loss's down the road easier to cope with.
I lost my brother when I was 7.It's hard to explain because it hit me hard but I was very confused and didn't really understand.
However it forever changed the dynamics of my family so.
Mom wasn't as emotionally available for me except for putting the fear of god in me literally that I would be kidnapped or killed (on a daily basis)
I lost my dad one year and 3 months ago,and I nearly lost my mind,he wasn't just my dad he was my best friend,and your never ever ready to lose the ones you love no matter what.
So I don't think going through a death prepares you or toughens you up for the next so to speak.
But that is why I have been at my moms beck and call,on a daily basis,because you just never know.
But come on please...she wants me to go to a doll show with her on Saturday.....OMG .......I am not into that kind of thing and either is she,I believe she is testing the waters to see how much she can get me to be agreeable to.
Bingo?? A doll show?? come one come all.lets see how much she can take and keep on smiling??

Answer 2

When I was 18 I lost my grandfather... took that one very hard. I had lost my Dad's dad when I was a toddler, so I didn't feel that loss much at all.

My emotions really got loose with my grandfather's death, (was at the hospital as he passed away) but after the initial shock wore off, the actual funeral was less of an ordeal.

I don't think it necessarily gets easier with age, just that you understand better with experience that the deaths of loved ones is a natural part of the rythym of life. You have more perspective, I guess.

One thing about funerals, I came to learn over the following years that people will be laughing, joking and crying all within the space of several small rooms in the funeral home: I used to be upset when I heard people laughing, thinking it was pretty damn insensitive to the bereaved, but have to come to understand it is perfectly normal, expected and often a great relief as friends and family share fond, often funny memories of the one they lost.

Hope you enjoy the time you have with people. A side benefit of that enjoyment is that when the day comes, you'll have a lot of smiles and laughter to share, along with the tears.

Peace

Answer 3

When I was 15 I lost my grandmother to Cancer. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not at her funeral or celebration of life so I have had a hard time dealing with her lose in my life. In a few days I will be 37 and this year is the first year I did not get really depressed on the day she died!
This spring I lost a dear friend to Cancer as well and at her request there was no funeral or get together, so I have had to deal with that too.
I think age has very little to do with how you deal with a death. I think the best thing you can do is allow yourself time to absorb the lose in your life and realise that although things will never be the same, life will go on!
And yes, you are blessed you have not lost a loved one yet... Hug them every chance you get!

Answer 4

I was in kindergarten when I lost my maternal grandfather. I remember everyone being really sad and telling me that my grandfather would not be returning home from the hospital. I just lost my great aunt a couple of months ago. She was like a grandmother to me. I am 27. It doesn't get easier. I cried at my aunt's funeral more than I have ever cried at a funeral. I have a feeling it was just a culmination of a lot of emotions. She is not suffering anymore. It doesn't get any easier; your coping ability just gets stronger.

Answer 5

Death is difficult for all of us to face. We all learn our own ways of dealing with it as we mature. Fear of losing a loved one is more common than you think. Doesn't matter at what age you first lost someone.
My first loss was at age 18, a boy I had previously dated died. His mom called to tell me. He was only 20. It tore me up. Lost my grandmother at 26. That was a huge loss for me, because she had been such a large part of my life.
You cope the best you can. Your family and friends help you through these times. Please let them, and be there for them when they have losses too.
In time your pain diminishes, although it never truly goes away completely. Allow yourself to grieve.
When my Dad died 2 years ago, it was my biggest loss ever. Since then, I have made a number of positive changes in my life, and dedicated them to him.
Message me for more info, Honey.
Dianne

Answer 6

I have lost all 4 grand parents and my mother. I was 19 when I lost my aunt.
I was 49 when I lost my mother.
Age doesn't make any difference if you loose some one you love.But it helps if you believe in God and heaven. God will give you comfort.
You cope because you don't have any choice.
Keep their memories close to your heart.
Its normal to worry about loosing people, especially your mother. But don't let that worry get in the way of enjoying the time you have with her now. Make the best of it and you will have great memories to help carry you through.

Answer 7

It dosent get easier with age I'm 48 yrs old I lost my Dad about8 months ago. He passed away at home alert up to the last minute it was very hard I miss him so much, I wish I could hear his voice. It really still does tear me apart on some days when hes on my mind . He is on my mind every day but some days are just harder. If I let it it could consume me. He was the best Dad ever.

Answer 8

My aunt got killed by a drunk driver when I was 12. She was a beautiful person, in and out. She left behind, one daughter, also 12. It was horrifying. We coped by leaning on each other, the whole family. We had like a remembrance get together, and all shared memories, and lit candles and such. It was very helpful.

Answer 9

My father died when i was 5, my brother died when i was 10.My Best friend died 2 years ago 2 ladies i worked with died about a year apart they had cancer. It is not easy but you will learn to live with it and go on with your life.

Answer 10

I was 5, my parents died. I had good grandparents that helped me cope with it.
Be thankful of the time you do have with your loved ones.
It depends on how strong you are . self will ..If you are weak minded you will have more difficulty coping.
And having people who care about you is a big help also..