I have been dating this wonderful man for 3months his grandfather passed away and his ex was there?

Question

Him and I have spent a great deal of time together and I love him deeply. He has also told me he loves me alot. When his grandfather passed(he was like his father)he ask me not to come around because he didnt want hard feelings with his family. His sister is best friends with his ex-wife(they arent divorced but separated for three years and she only comes around wanting him when she finds he has another girl)I never met his pop pop or grandma but met his sisters,brother,son and mother. His pop pop really loved his stepdaughter. Well I stepped back and did the right thing so no hard feelings would be there. He has texted me but hasnt called for four days and today told me he would call but he had alot of decisions to make and things to think about. He has also met my children and they loved him and he liked them...What do I do except he is going through a hard time or except he is taking the ex back. Lost and broken hearted

Answer 1

3 months is not a long time. His Grandfather, whom you say is a father figure to him, died. Leave him be. Give him some space to breathe. Get a hobby or two or three! If he comes back to you it will be because he misses you and it is meant to be. Try not seem so desperate.

There is nothing you can do to control this, you have to just let it go and see what happens. Try to get on with your own life instead of watching the clock. When a man loses a father figure it is a HUGE crisis for him.

Try reading this book to help you understand how significant the loss of a fatherfigure can be to a man:

http://www.amazon.com/Fatherloss-Sons-Terms-Deathsof-Their/dp/0786884495/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-6447211-4187150?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184544942&sr=1-1

And remember: If you love someone, you have to let them go. If they come back to you, then it was meant to be.

Answer 2

What happen is you missed one major factor and that is he is NOT divorced. There are several problems with this and now your seeing one of them. You have to ask yourself why he would be separated for 3yrs and had not gotten a divorce something just isn't right about that. Next how far could you actually go with him you can't marry he's not divorced. This whole situation has me very curious and you should be also.
Something just doesn't add up! You got in a little too deep and should have ask yourself and him some serious questions. So as much as it hurts you might want to back away and give yourself time to think straight and come to terms with everything. Even if he decides in your favor and wants to get back together you still have the SAME problems he's still married so your relationship is actually at a stand still.
If he really loves you and your children as much as he says he does he would be talking to an attorney and start his divorce so he can be with you and become a family. Don't hold on to a bunch of broken promises. You judge a man by how he stands by his words if his words are empty they will have NO meaning and you will end up setting yourself up for even more heart break for yourself and your children. Until he commits to you and your family and mans up to his word I would play it safe......

Answer 3

This is hard for you trust me I understand. I would say to wait for him to call. Nothing you can do right now is going to change his mind either way. Think about this if he does take her back, should you be upset? You seem like a very sweet and considerate person. Things sometimes happen because better things are to come. If he chooses to stay with you then you have him, but if the other outcome happens than you are the better person and will have happiness. He must have left her for a reason and maybe he will realize that.

Answer 4

He's lost someone very dear to him, so give him some time. My first instinct was "get the heck out", but, think about it, losing someone you are really close to. Do I agree that he asked you to step back? No, but he knows best, and during this sad time, he just didn't want any more fuel added to the fire. I know it hurts, but if you really like him, hang in there for a bit. Time always tells. Good luck.

PS: The surest way back to him is when you talk to him or text him, make sure he knows you're concerned about him, and want to make sure he's ok. Don't be overbearing, but let him know you're there.

Answer 5

She's not his ex-wife. She's his wife. That makes everything more difficult.

The person above is right about not introducing a guy you're just dating to your children, much less a married man.

You'll have to wait to see whether he comes out of this and comes back to you, but don't take him to see your kids until his settlement talks are done. It would be nice if you could wait until the decree was final.

Answer 6

For one thing you should of enforce on going with him sometimes it's not good to do the right thing specially when there is a EX in the picture.I bet she was the one who told him not for you to come because if he did bring you she would make a sense. You need to think like an ex would think.He isn't with her for a reason and it won't take him long to see why they 're not together and he will come back to you.Remember don't let her just walk in and take him from you fight for him if you want him.Guys like that when you fight for them they really do. So put your boxing gloves on and may the best woman win.

Answer 7

Well it seen like he care a lot for you, but when it comes to his family he keeping you in the back ground, because he is still marry to his wife. as for the wife, I think their is feeling still there among them. I know you are feeling the pain, but remember they are still married. and you knew that. If they do get back together you will have to explain to your children, why he isn't around anymore. Good Luck

Answer 8

You should not let your children meet your male friends after only 3 months.

You guys are moving too fast....and maybe he needs to take a break.

You can call him to ask if he's alright....but the ball is really in his court now.

Answer 9

First, decide if you want to be with him given that he can't let his ex-wife go (separated for three years?) and "needs to think."

If you do want him and can't muster the self-respect it takes to kick him to the curb, then by all means sit by the phone waiting for him to call you. Just make sure you are putting your children first.

Answer 10

he is unsure as to what he wants to do between you and her. I would tell him that he needs to make a decision NOW! It's not fair to you

In the future I would recommend STRONGLY that you not get your children involved or introduce them to your children quite so soon in a relationship. THis is totally unfair to them and you are giving them a VERY bad example if you introduce them to every guy you date.