ok well 2 months ago my best friends husband died. we planned on monday the 16th to go out to dinner to celebrate his birthday (thats his birthday) well this saturday my b/f mom died unexpectinly. she had been sick for a long time, but we didnt think it was going to happen so soon and out of no were. well my b/f is a wreck and needs me. so i dont know if i should cancel with my friend who is also a wreck and leave her hanging on her husbands birthday...or should i tell ym b/f i will see him after dinner...im just lost for what to do. i want to be there for both of them
2007-07-15 12:52:08 · 18 answers · asked by lovely 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he dosent want to go. he isnt ready to face any one esle
2007-07-15 13:01:21 · update #1
If you are in a situation where you have to choose, try to find a medium. For instance, maybe a friend/relative of your boyfriend could stay with him until dinner is over?
If you can't, then you need to choose your boyfriend! That is my opinion. You know, best friends are very important, but, if this man is your MAN!, then he needs you to stand beside him right now. I know this is a hard choice, but I would have to choose my boyfriend. In my life, my best friend would totally understand, because that is what best friends do! This is his Mom! God bless him and his family right now, and your best friend too.
But talk with your best friend. She is your friend and with her being in the same situation, she should be very understanding. Right now, your boyfriend needs you, he is your immediate family (in this situation) He should come first. I know your best friend will understand. You can always send her something sweet and special to let her know that she is in your thoughts and prayers at that time. I will keep you and your loved ones in my prayers. Very sorry for the losses you are dealing with but, something to remember, your loved ones are at peace and in a great presence. God Bless!
2007-07-15 18:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by LilbitFiery:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would respect someone who gives a person like that a second chance. I would say to talk to her a few times, if she hasn't spoken to you in 10 years but randomly has now then there must be some reason behind it - she might be missing you or might be in trouble. Talk to her and ask why she called you after so long, how life is etc. Yes she might be putting you down alot but some people do that to make them selves feel better when things aren't going so well for themselves. If she carries on being rude to you after a few calls, then atleast you tried, stop talking to her and get on with your own life as you were before. By speaking to her, you can help her, if not to be a better person then atleast to not misunderstand Islam or you and your life.
2016-05-18 21:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your b/f about the dinner plans you made, and that you want to be there for both, so you are going to go ahead and go to dinner and give him some alone time and you will be back soon. chances are is that he needs some time to cry alone and if you just explain to him I'm sure he will understand and respect that you also want to be there for your friend.
2007-07-15 12:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well put it This way, on the 16th. spend time with both..show your respect for your b/f and go out with your girlfriend...split your day in half, because right now you are gone to spend the most of your time with your b/f anyway so try and do both, because you might not have time for your g/f after dinner anyway..
2007-07-15 13:09:28 · answer #4 · answered by bert bert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it sucks but they both need you. Go out for the birthday dinner and be available for other friend all nite consoling her. Bring icecream and comfy clothes so you guys can sit on couch to be her therapist. Sit quietly knowing she only needs your shoulder to lean on. You sound like a great friend.hope this helps. God is smiling down upon you.
2007-07-15 12:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by tna8672 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't the 3 of you get together? I mean, your best friend understands what your boyfriend is going through right now, and with that can you take care of both of them without having to neglect one.
Try to talk to your best friend and see if she wants to come over. Then talk to your signifant other. Since she is your best friend do I think that it will be ok to have her around when things get taken care of....
2007-07-15 13:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by What Will The Spill Kill? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to dinner with your friend, she needs you. But don't stay for drinks, or go to a movie or something after. Instead go home and help your boyfriend. And call your boyfriend a couple of times while you're out, just to check up on him and let him know you're thinking of him. If you can, arrange for one of your boyfriend's buddies to come over that night to keep him company while you're out.
2007-07-15 13:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to dinner with your friend and focus on the Celebration of it and afterwards go to your b/f and explain to him how it was a positive time for your friend and tell him on his mothers birthday you and him shall do the same thing and if she had a favorite rest. go there. Good Luck
2007-07-15 13:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by 1st Lady House of WHITE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the dinner date with the friend, then get back to be with your boyfriend after. I'm sure he will understand you keeping your commitment to your friend... and you'll probably only be gone for a couple of hours.
2007-07-15 12:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best friends are more important than boyfriends. Both of them need you but you already told your friend you'd be there for her, and you don't want her be both crushed and angry with you. Your boyfriend can hang out with you another day. Just make time for both of them and confort them both and they'll both be happy!
2007-07-15 13:16:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋