I have been married for eight years and never cheated. I have been finding myself more and more wanting to be with a woman with my husband. What to do now? Trust and go forward or am I opening a can of worms?
2007-07-15 12:43:59 · 24 answers · asked by Nikki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is your hubby up for a threesome? If you do decide to go for the threesome just remember to pay some attention to him lol. My hubby and I have threesomes and it has been great for us. :-) have fun!!!!
2007-07-15 12:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are numerous possible scenarios here, but the primary question is one of self-realization. Did you (and your husband) know you were bisexual before you were married? If yes, then this is less of a big deal. Just ask him for a threesome. If no, then my best guess is that you might be on the road to a larger self-realization (and here I speak from personal experience). Heaven forbid you are "just experimenting" if all parties don't know that up front; otherwise, you run the risk of making the other woman feel like a lab animal. And that's mean.
Again, if you have a communicative, open relationship, talk to your husband about this issue. It's not fair to change the relationship rules without everyone's consent, and you can't go outside of your primary relationship without his knowledge. That leads to trouble no matter what, that is, even if he's cool with the girl-on-girl sex.
Who knows. Maybe he'll want to open your relationship up to other women and men. And, in my opinion, if you want to open it up to other women, he should have the same options, with or perhaps without your presence. Just be clear--oh-so-clear--about the rules regarding when, who, what, etc., is acceptable.
2007-07-15 13:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by tmhd 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sure that this answer WILL NOT be appreciated nor will it be picked as best answer, but I will say it anyway. If you have really been married for 8 years, then you already know that you can live without such activities. To start this now (even if your husband agrees) is as you said opening a can of worms and here is why: Somewhere down the road it is going to create HUGE problems for you. It may not be tomorrow or even next week, but sometime it will. Who knows for sure what problems? Could be he likes the "other woman" in bed better than you. Could be that you decide that you want to go ALL gay. Who knows? But you are asking for some real heart ache by going down this road.
2007-07-15 15:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should discuss your sexual orientation with your husband. Let him know that you have some unresolved desires and try to work out a way to explor them. But before you do that, you have to be clear about whether or not you want to share your husband with another woman. A threesome will put a huge amount of tension into your relationship. You may worry that he enjoyed her more than you. He may start sizing up all your friends as potential threesome material.
You have to determine if what you want is a threesome with your husband, or if you just want a woman, but are willing to do a threesome to get your husband to play along. If it's the latter, then you need to find a way without sharing, at least the first time. Not many men would be happy with their wives having girlfriends on the side, unless they're going to get something out of it. But maybe your husband will understand a one time thing.
Good luck.
2007-07-15 12:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It could be either one, you could be opening a can or worms or you could be making him happy....either way, just talk to your hubby about this and see how he feels, that's the only way you will find the solution to this, communication is the key to a longlasting realationship, tell him what you've been thinking of and see what he says about it, if he doesn't like the idea ,then you should drop it and let it go, because it may end your relationship, if he likes the idea then there ya go, but it doesn't hurt to ask about it and see what he thinks.
2007-07-15 12:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off: don't cheat. Secondly, is your husband open to sexual exploration? If so, suggest a threesome. Now, if you're thinking, "I don't want my husband to be with another woman," then you're a hypocrite. If I still have your attention, then maybe it's worth a shot (asking him, that is. don't forget to mention that you're bi, if he doesn't know). If you're sure he'll say no, then abstain. It's called marriage and you have to do things like that. Trust me, your husband has wanted to have sex with other women, just as I'm sure you've thought about having sex with other men. It's natural. Regardless, marriage transcends those desires and even though to many people, a woman cheating on her husband with another woman isn't as bad as cheating on him with another man, it's still cheating. But, if he's done with a threesome (or at least watching), then I think it might work out. Good luck
2007-07-15 12:49:55 · answer #6 · answered by Def 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Everyone here is right.
Make sure your own relationship is solid. Suggest a 3sum to the hubby. Show him pics of 3sums. Check out some websites designed for this type of activity and make sure that whatever happens, sexual safety comes first. try adultfriendfinder. lots of bi-'s there and 3sums. Experimenting with your spouse can be wonderful for the both of you, but make a rule: both agree to play or NO ONE plays. Always include him.
2007-07-15 12:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by wildcard1275 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Test the waters safely - go rent an adult movie with a 3-some in it. Watch it with him while he's getting hot ask him what he'd think of doing that sometime.
If he wigs out, you'll know he's not into it safely. If he's cautious he may be worried your testing him and can then lead in that you think it might be something fun.
Safe and easy!
2007-07-15 14:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Bi. I know how you feel, but your opening a can of worms. When you married you chose your husband over ALL others. Accept that that part of your exploration is over. Remain faithful.
2007-07-15 12:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is an very interesting question. first of all you should told him prior getting married. well, there might be a way around that....hmmmmm....ask your husband what are some of his sexual fantasy. if he said a two (girls) some act kinda surprise and be little inquisitive about it. but if he doesn't said any thing about a two some, then it best to leave it alone.
2007-07-15 12:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating is cheating regardless of sexual orientation. You committed yourself to one person. stay with that one person. If you wanted to be with another man it would be the same thing. If he cheated on you how would you feel? if you would feel fine maybe you should get some marriage counseling. Being bisexual has nothing to do with it other than talking yourself into a justification for cheating.
2007-07-15 15:22:50 · answer #11 · answered by **0_o** 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋