Can we have some fun with these phrases?

Question

How about a story with these (this ought to be fun)
1. You should have kept your mouth shut
2. Oh no...where did she go
3. That woman needs help. You know that, right
4. What's with the three bells
5. Rings on her fingers and bells...where
6. This is just too much

Answer 1

Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1876

"Miss Kitty is getting on my last nerve!!(6) This is just too much." Matt was rattled by Kitty's latest escapade.
Sunshine:" What's she done NOW?"
U.S.Marshal Matt Dillon related to Sunshine MacGillicutty, his new girlfriend, what his FORMER girlfriend had done.
Matt:"She's decided to take belly dancing lessons. Well, I saw her the other day as she was coming out of the class. I noticed she had (5) Rings on her fingers and bells...where else..... God ONLY knows!! So I said to her, I said......' Hey, Kitty. (4) What's with the three bells?' She just smiled that flirtatous,drunken smile and started shaking like a bowl of jelly on All Saint's Day":
http://www.flickr.com/photos/normaltoilet/233883386/
Matt:" And her legs were strangley masuline.Whew!!" He shook his head. "It gave me the willies!!" Sunshine merely laughed and went about cooking dinner.
Matt:"Why aren't you more upset? Doesn't it bother you that she is still after me?!"
Sunshine leaned over and kissed him......"(3) That woman needs help. You know that, right? How could I in all good faith get angry with a lunatic?" Matt seemed a bit miffed that Sunshine wasn't even a tad bit jealous.
Sunshine:"Listen, sweetie. I need to go in town for a few supplies tomorrow. If I see her I'll get down in the mud with her and have a real cat fight. Okay??" Matt was not amused......Yet he was slightly aroused by the thought!
Sunshine:" As long as she does not besmirch our good names OR my Virginian background, she won't bother me."

The next day when Sunshine was in Dodge she saw a group of people huddled around a man who was displaying some beautiful birds and a tamed squirrel. Sunshine noticed that Kitty was in the crowd. She smiled as she came closer to see what everyone was watching.The birds were doing some simple,every day tricks....You know.....One was playing dead, one was doing push ups; But the one that caught Sunshine's attention was the one who was whistling "Dixie." Just as Sunshine was placing her hand over her Southern heart and preparing to stand at attention, she noticed that the squirrel had beat her to the punch:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ozoni11/509963322/

When the song ended, Sunshine started to walk away.
Kitty:"Hey!! SUNDOWN MAC-MORON !!!!! Where are YOU going?!" She grabbed Sunshine by the arm. Sunshine calmly took Kitty's hand off of her and continued walking.
Kitty:" HEY!!! JOHNNY REB !!! GET YOUR SOUTHERN *** BACK HERE! I'M TALKING TO YOU !!!"

Matt who was just coming out of his office, overheard this.....(2) Oh no...where did she go? Where's Sunshine? SOMEBODY grab SUNSHINE!!!"
Sunshine stopped dead in her tracks. She walked up to Kitty.....Nose to nose.......
Sunshine:"What did you just say?"
Kitty:"You heard me, you Virginian Man Stealer!!"
Sunshine went over to the man, gently picked up one of his birds and walked back to Kitty who was STILL shooting her mouth off. Sunshine let the bird go.
"Kitty? (1) You should have kept your mouth shut":
http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolmyra/533310901/

Answer 2

This is just too much, the other day my son's girlfriend came to dinner talking about having Rings on her fingers and bells...where god never intended them to be and I was wondering why I kept hearing bells when she walked. Lord I hope he's not planning on marrying this one, but my husband just had to ask and I shot he the look that said You should of kept your mouth shut, but why would he do that. He was more interested in What's with the three bells and why she had them where she did. Which is going to have him sleeping on the couch for the remainder of his life, oh no...where did she go and what the hell is my husband doing with her. That woman needs help. You know that, right and the hubby is going to need an ambulance when I get through with him!