How can I be more independent, Whenever I get teased I cant stand up for myself, am so scared of what people are going to say next, whenever I want to stand up for my self just alittle, my voice starts to sound shaky so I let people tease me and dont say anything back. I'm also scared of starting to cry, I get cold feet whenever I get teased. I am going to highschool next year, I know its gonna be tough for me I just want to gain more independence. I dont want to hold back my tears or people thinking that they have power over me. Its a negative terrible feeling. My self esteem goes down big time. I get teased for no reason and still get cold feet. When I cry because am being bullied nice people around me including my friends back me up I still cry and my friends wonder why. Well I never tell anyone why but its because The bullies have power over me already. Whenever I tell on someone whos bullying me I get a shaky voice too. So I want answers to this problem. Please no mean answers.
2007-07-15 11:26:34 · 7 answers · asked by karinad92 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's really not "independence" that you need sweetheart; it's CONFIDENCE. You sound like a painfully shy and sensitive person who could really use a GOOD friend or two. Perhaps if you could just find the courage to meet and nurture a couple of friendships this summer, you will have alliances that will help you as you re-enter school. Why not try to choose just one friend who you could show this question to who would help you with the overwhelmingly negative feelings you have. Try to look at the start of high school as an opportunity to 'reinvent' yourself. Work on it over the next month and a half -- talk to your parents or a sibling and explain what you are feeling. It sounds like you may have some anxiety or panic disorder and if that's the case, you may need to consider having your parents take you to a doctor who could prescribe something to take the edge off -- this is a relatively common chemical imbalance and nothing to be ashamed of or overreact to. By all means, try to find the courage to get this settled so that you can feel happy and have fun with your teenage years! Remember, this is no dress rehearsal -- make wonderful memories! And about the 'mean' thing -- there will always be some mean people in the world, but the truth is there are many more nice people. Don't let the mean ones take away your joy -- they're not worth it.
2007-07-15 11:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by felixthecat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not the case of independence by a case of low self esteem. I suffer from that too and I am MUCH older than you are.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve better and are worthy of better treatment. and YOU ARE!
Perhaps you are a peaceable person and do not like conflict, thus let others tramp on you all the time to avoid the conflict you might get standing up for yourself. This might "work" for awhile but at what price do you want to pay for this "peace" when its tearing you apart. You don't have to be aggressive when standing up for yourself but you do need to be assertive. I wish you the best and chin up please, don't be afraid anymore.
2007-07-15 18:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by flyingdove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people go through this. The best thing to do is ignore those jerks or at least make them think they don't bother you. They feed off of your emotions. When they think they don't bother you anymore they will leave you alone. Don't let them have any power over you anymore.
2007-07-15 18:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know the bullies names, call the police to report assault. You might also try a lawsuit against the school since you have told the school officials and they haven't done anything. The charge would be willfull neglect.
2007-07-15 18:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be more independent by looking within YOURSELF for the answer to that question and not other people .....ask yourself that question!.....depending on other people IS your problem.....you depend on THEM for how you feel and think........forget about them and find your own strength to take care of yourself......as it is, everyone owns you.........you have no say about anything..no power over your life.........look for the power inside of you so you don't go through anymore of your life being a victim..........once you do your life will never be the same..............the fear will go away.....you'll be able to take care of yourself......promise!.......i did it myself!.....i don't attract those kind of people anymore...they are picking on someone else who needs to learn the same lesson........now stand up straight and walk tall like a person who deserves to be treated well...good luck!
2007-07-15 19:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by Happy Summer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard, but you will get better at it as you get older. The best thing to do is to be confident in yourself - your value as a person. Then it doesn't matter what other people think of you.
2007-07-15 18:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do more things yourself, and rely on yourself more.
2007-07-15 18:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋