ok so I was writing a poem about how foolish war was after reading an amazing inpirational WW2 poem by an author named Talia W. Parker and it inspired me to right one of my own so after 2 hours of Idea's I finall have the first draf ready it's a little clunky but I NEED HELP ON THE LAST LINE, I DONT KNOW A GOOD LINE TO END MY POEM WITH, I want to give the message in that last line but I dont know how HELP!
here it is
Ice cracks, dogs bark
Tires screech, the fire sparks
Lights blink, the wind blows
Heart's bleed they'll never stop
There is no lullaby left in this nightmarish game
The men argue, do they know what has changed
Lightning strikes as the women screams
Some praying for all this to be a bad dream
A veil of shadows blocks the twilight sky
Innocent Blood has smeared from every battle cry
You see the grins; you can feel the wrath
You're all alone; in this psychopath
you grab the gun, giving the world one last kiss
Thunder crashes, with no one left to miss
the clocks ticks, the hour strikes
Such fools are we not knowing wrong from right
The scene is set it all goes black,
The curtain raised the final act.
Sirens raging in the night,
sounds of horror, gasps of fright.
Intense pain, the smell of blood
tearing eyes begin to flood.
They pull out bodies one by one,
2007-07-15 09:51:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It could end with the word "Gone". which would fit in the context. Now you should decide what is gone. I was thinking somewhere in the lines of "all humanity"
2007-07-15 09:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by twinsisterwendy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Barking dogs, cracking ice,
The air is heavy with the end.
or...
but the lost soles sink with the heavy price
of the human gun.
I think that's an amazing poem, really moving. Just one thing... in the 7th verse, you hould change "women" to "woman" or "screams" to "scream".
2007-07-17 11:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont need anyhelp , then it wouldn't be all yours
this is a great poem
it will come to you , be pacient
sometimes i get up out of bed in the middle of the night
and write down my thoughts
but do it yourself
jethro
2007-07-16 05:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have a few:
1)for the battle is all but done
2)this web of war has so been spun
3)against the disapearing sun
4)what prize is there to be won?
thats all i got for right now
2007-07-15 16:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by lala 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You slowly stand and grab your gun
or
You turn your eyes to the setting sun
2007-07-19 01:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any endings but i just wanted to say thats a great poem.
2007-07-15 17:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by brandy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And now the war is finally done.
God blessed us,
and now i hop we are okay,
for now the war done,
Now can i go home and play??
2007-07-15 19:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by <3Mariah<3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The war on terrorism is never done.
2007-07-15 17:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by allisoneast 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All forgeting the shinning sun
never mind its night time oops!
2007-07-15 17:04:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
silently their eyes pray for this pain to be done.
this war they fight is never won.
wishing they could leave it all behind and just run.
knowing this war has only just begun.
um i dunno maybe i can think of something
better.. give me a minute..
i really like this.. although it is pretty dark. it has real emotion and truth. nice job. =]
2007-07-15 17:01:03 · answer #10 · answered by rubywhite13 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋