Is there a such thing as spoiling a infant?

Question

My son will be 2 months on August 8th and my grandmother tells me that if i continue to hold him allday that he will become more spoiled. He does cry when he is put down and yes as soon as me or my husband picks him up he stops. She also says that when i put him in daycare next month that its going to be hard because he is going to be used to someone holding him.

Answer 1

It's an old wives tale that you can spoil an infant. Babies don't cry to manipulate, they cry to communicate.

When your son cries he is telling you that he is scared, uncomfortable, or unsure of how to handle this strange world when he is used to being in a dark warm place all cuddled up. When you pick him up he learns that he can trust you to care for him, which is the beginning of forming your relationship with your son that will carry over into discipline and other parts of his future.

He is still so little that he can't self-entertain when he is put down. As he gets older (closer to 3 months and up) he will be more interested in the world around him and probably won't want to be picked up as often.

One month makes a big difference. Don't worry about things you can't forsee. A month ago my 3 month old wanted to be held all the time. Now he can lay for periods of time looking at his playmat toys or in a swing with a mobile or just on the ground looking around.

One thing I do recommend is to have a cool and calm demeanor when picking him up or he will sense that being away from you should cause anxiety.

I had a baby like that and I bought my daycare provider a carrier (I recommend ergobaby) to use in case she needed to carry him around while doing other things. I included the link just in case.

Hope that helps. I think you are doing a great job.

Answer 2

It is absolutely not possible to spoil an infant. Read Dr Sears, The Baby Book, best advice hands down I ever received. Their wants are the same as their needs. That spoiling advice is really outdated. If you leave an apple alone on a shelf, then it will spoil.

Of course he is happier in you or your husband's arms he feels happy and safe. Have you seen the Baby Bjorn front carrier? Get one or one like it. I *wore* my first daughter almost all the time until she was 6 months old when I got a backpack. She has an amazing personality for a 7 yo. I attribute this to the fact that I never let anything or anyone come between us. She is so loving and compassionate, so helpful and kind.

Women all over the world have been carrying their babies since the dawn of time. The baby can feel your heartbeat and it reminds him of being very safe and secure in your womb. Why wouldn't they love it, they are next to their favorite person in the whole world.

If he absolutely has to go to a babysitter how about a relative? I have just heard too many stories of infants that weren't fed or diapers not changed (A friend marked her sons cloth diaper and ran out of time to mark the rest). The baby can't tell you what happened so you and your baby are basically at the mercy of strangers.

My mil used to do infant daycare and her philosophy was to feed and change the babies and then let them cry it out in another room where she couldn't hear them. You would never know if this was happening to your son.

Answer 3

Of course he'll stop crying. Isn't that the whole point of picking him up??
I can say for sure NO!!!, you can't spoil a baby that young! My daughter (who is going to be 7 mos in a few days) has reflux, so she was in a lot of pain for the first 3-4 months. I held her as much as I could, she slept with us for about a month, that being the only way to soothe her pain at night, she napped on my chest (during the day) for the first 4 months. And you know what? At about 3 months of age we moved her crib, because I had noticed she didn't seem to need us right besides her (and she didn't even complain for a second!!), and around 4 months she started napping in her crib. And even though it seemed hard at the time to always have her in my arms, I kind of miss it now, because she's so much more independent!! :-)

My advice is: do what he needs, and exactly what you feel is right for him. He's a long way away from learning how to manipulate you! Cuddle him, hug him, kiss him as much as you can! You probably need it as much as he does, especially since you're going back to work so soon. And when he's in a good mood put him in a swing, or a bouncy seat and let him look around, explore the world around him.

Good luck!!

Answer 4

No you wont spiol the baby, old people believe old fashion. If you hold your baby when he/she cries your making them secure. From birth they will know that they can trust you!
The first cries of a newborn baby are often music to the ears of parents. However, over the next weeks and months this "music" can become grating and painful. This is especially true when all attempts fail to stop the crying.

Surprisingly, crying does not produce tears until after the first month or two. Crying is the way babies communicate. They cry because of hunger, discomfort, frustration, fatigue, and even loneliness. Sometimes, cries can easily be answered with food, or a diaper change. Other times, it can be a mystery and crying stops as quickly as it begins.

You will soon learn differences in cries, from a cry of "I'm hungry" to "I've been overstimulated." It is important to respond to your baby's cries. Contrary to old wives' tales, young babies cannot be spoiled by being picked up when crying. Being held is reassuring and comforting when a baby cannot express him/herself any other way.

Some techniques to help console a crying baby include the following:

* Take care of physical problems first - hunger, diaper change, need to burp.
* Walk with baby in a sling or in a stroller.
* Rock your baby in a rhythmic, gentle motion.
* Try a baby swing or rocking cradle.
* Gently pat or stroke on the back or chest.
* Try swaddling the baby.
* Go for a ride in the car.
* Turn on some white noise (such as a washing machine or vacuum cleaner).

Answer 5

The doctor told me that there is no such thing as spoiling an infant. If your child is crying there is a reason and for some reason being held is comforting. In the womb the baby is in a tight location and I learned that if I wrapped my baby tight in a blanket and then put him down he slept longer and was more easily comforted. Good Luck.

Answer 6

That's what everyone used to think, but times have changed. She probably gives you a lot of out-of-date advice. No, you won't spoil a 2 month old baby by holding him/her. Your baby is learning self-worth and trust right now. It's okay if you don't agree with a parenting method. I decided not to take the same advice and I don't make my daughter cry herself to sleep every night. She is very independent and curious. And she doesn't fuss at bedtime because she knows I'm nearby. Don't feel bad about not listening to everyone's advice. Remember when everyone smoked around the kids and nobody wore a seatbelt? Times have changed!

Answer 7

you cant spoil them like that at such young age. he stops crying when either of you guys pick him up because he recognizes you and you are comforting him and it makes him feel safe. they dont really make that conection for a couple more months. and yes at daycare there is a chance that it will be harder to soothe hime there but thats only becauseof new surroundindgs and your baby's mood...i wouldnt worry about it too much. if you are really concerned do some online research for that topic or ask your pediatrician. they will tell you it is fine.hope that helped put you at ease.

Answer 8

No. Studies now show that babies who are cuddled and held frequently early end up being more secure children later. Babies who have less contact and are left to cry alone tend to have seperation issues. All the new research is heading in this direction. Most books say you can not spoil a newborn......... a 2 or 3 year old is a different story........

Answer 9

there is no such thing as spoiling an infant. they need love and attention to show then that they can trust you so they can get their needs met. Now, when they hit about 7/8 months of age, then they do tend to get sort of spoiled.. they learn that if they cry, you come running to pick them up.
Daycare will pay attention to them.. I know my son gets tons of attention at daycare!

Answer 10

Its impossible to ruin and toddler. actual the speedier you respond to their needs and the less they cry, the less they are going to cry later down the line because of the fact they could have found out to have confidence and comprehend that there needs would be dealt with, and that they dont ought to scream until now you spot they choose you. Its positive if he falls asleep on the breast too, even if it particularly is priceless to to wake him in easy terms somewhat as you place him down so he can positioned himself back to sleep. That way he wont ought to nurse to bypass to sleep in an prolonged time. My daughter often wakes in easy terms somewhat as quickly as I do flow her to her mattress nonetheless, so it incredibly would not take a lot. You sound such as you're doing issues in basic terms acceptable. A "spoiled" toddler makes for a happier extra shield newborn.