Confused...?

Question

I am thirteen years old and my friend is a year older than me. She and I are very different; I am more conservative and I like things to be organized, I was raised in a different country.

My friend is like a typical American teenger. She has more of an emo style, but emo/scene doesn't really fit her honestly. The only thing we REALLY have in common is we both enjoy reading incessantly.

Recently she's acquired a "boyfriend"; he's a senior in high school and he lives in a city about 15 minutes away from where we live. My friend and I haven't even started high school yet! I told my friend to be careful about this boyfriend of hers, (she's never even met him, she met him online) and she really only likes him because he has the whole emo style. I lectured her to be very careful since he's three years older than her, and she hasn't met him before. Now she is angry at me (she hasn't spoken to me for 3 days)

She's sort of a bad influence. Should I still hang around her?

Our styles are too different. I don't believe in boyfriends or pre-marital sex, and she plans on losing her virginity when she turns sixteen. I told her that's too young, but she just doesn't care or listen to my advice anymore.

My mom doesn't mind if I talk to her (I don't socialize with her that much anyway) and my mom will be content with whatever decision I make.

I know, I really shouldn't bail on her. But she's getting too frustrating. She's getting piercings and dying her hair without her mother's consent, going out with boys without her mother's consent...

Answer 1

We all have friends with different tactics that we may or may not agree with. You sound to be of very sound mind for such a young age. I would think that you would be more of a positive influence on her as opposed to her being a negative influence on you. Be polite and friendly, but that doesn't mean you need to hang out with her all the time either.

Answer 2

many times,people learn from their mistakes...think about you..if someone would keep telling you that what you are doing is wrong,that you should stop doing that or that when you are really convinced that the decisions you make are right,would you give up just because that someone thinks this is better for you?i don't think so..you have to experience yourself to realize who was the one who was right...when she will see that it was better to listen to you,she will come back to you and maybe your friendship will get stronger..just tell her once,and if she won't listen,then stop repeating....(i passed through a similar situation 2 years ago...and it repeated i think 3 or 4 times with the same person..and only now..after 2 years she understood that she should listen to me when i say something...and this downs -because there were some periods when we didn't spoke one to each other for a couple of months-made our friendship stronger)

regarding to your last question:if you shoul still hang around her...you know her better than us so it's your decision ...if she influenced you in a bad way then i think you shoul stop seeing her..or at least meet her rarely...if she didn't influenced you at all...than you can try to change her,to make her realise that it's no use to do things she does...

good luck!

Answer 3

Wow! Such emotional maturity at your age. Your parents must be very proud of you and it is obvious that that they have raised you well.
I would not bail out on your friend, but I would NOT hang out with her either, she will develop a bad reputation that could unjustifiably place you in as well.
Just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to when she falls and crashes, which she will.
Meeting someone on line is a dangerous thing to do, I wish her well. But you stay true to your own moral values and beliefs. Great job so far and hats off to your parents fro doing such a good job.

Answer 4

I would keep her as an acquaintance but try to find a friend to hang out with that has more in common! You sound like you have been a very good friend to her so she is the one that will be missing out!

Answer 5

You sound like a very bright young woman who knows whats right for her. Your friend seems a little confused, but that's just because she's in her teenage years. My advice is to talk to her, tell her your limits. You can still hang out with her, but guide her, tell her right and wrong. Best of luck sweetie!

Answer 6

This is really up to you. What do you want to do? If you don't want to be her friend anymore then don't. We can't really tell you who to be friends with. If you feel she is a bad influence maybe it's for the best that you stop hanging around her.

Answer 7

I would try to be supportive. Teenagers go through a phase where they are trying to find their identidy and it sounds to me that is what she is going through. While you may not agree with everything she does it is her life not yours. You can offer advice when she askes but you aren't her mother and you can't tell her what to do.

Answer 8

she hasn't even met him in real life? thats scary. he could be a perv. tell her you understand her desire to have a boyfriend but maybe she should look into someone more her age. she'll come back to you no doubt, if she does even meet that guy they wont be together very long.

Answer 9

I would ditch her. I'm sure you can find many more friends that you have more in common with and once you hit high school you will have even more. I wouldnt worry about her.

Answer 10

shes your friends....just becuase you dont like the decions she makes doesnt mean to stop being her friend.....just tell her how you feell and you did just give her some time she'll come around and hopefully she sees how you feel....try and tak to this guy get to know him......