A poem request. Just obliging.?

Question

To live in the world of the fearful
Is to live in the shadow of pain.
To slowly forget about feelings
Where everyone else is to blame.
The choice to be callous is easy
Its easy to hate than to feel.
When we turn from the pain of our brothers
We remove their incentive to heal.

For the person unloved is unloving
And knows nothing about inner wealth.
Fo no one can care for another
What the other can't feel for himself.

When the loveless, unloving and heartless
Refuses to care for his kind.
The man will return him the favour
Unloving, uncaring and blind.

And so goes the infinate cycle.
The human desire for the good.
Yet if man is at war with another,
He is hell bent on spilling his blood.
With so little trust of our feelings,
The curse of the need to be led.
In a world of acute indecision
Where the living become like the dead.

Answer 1

but I wonder, can it have gone so far
as you, in your verse, would make out?
For, though some men may turn to evil
the goodness of most I can't doubt,

and it's all very much like a cycle,
where one thing being bad leads to worse,
but sometimes pain itself leads to healing,
and spirals down sometimes reverse

and come back up again, bringing goodness-
it's through pain we learn to be kind.
Compassion is nurtured through hardship,
perhaps only that way, you may find.

So maybe there is isolation and pain,
and maybe this year's news is war,
but saying it's just that- it's not the whole truth-
there's more to this world, sister, more!

Answer 2

Good job! A few hard spots, but otherwise well written. Consider these suggestions:

change,

"It's easy to hate ..." to read,
"It's easier to hate..." (typo)

"Fo no one can care..." to read,
"No one can care..." too many "for"s are distracting

"infinate" should be "infinite"

"hell bent" should be "hell-bent"

"with so little trust of our feelings" should be,
"with so little trust in our feelings"

The last four lines are good, but the punctuation makes them awkward. "with so little trust in our feelings, the curse of the need to be led." Is that the completion of the idea? or are you insinuating that "So little trust in our feelings, "and" the curse our our need to be led, leads to a world of acute indecision, where the living become like the dead." see what I mean? think about those last four lines and ensure they're written so they convey the meaning you really intended.

Otherwise, very nice job indeed!

Answer 3

Did you write this yourself?? If so, this is one of the most beautiful and amazing poems I have ever read on this site. If this is your work, than you most certainly have awe-striking talent!

Answer 4

Write it yourself? I like it, whatever. Shame about the spelling of infinite, you need to alter that.
I'd also say "more easy to hate" rather than "it's easy to hate"
Sixth line.

Answer 5

that was beautiful!
omg if you wrote that yourself, then you should become a songwriter or poet, because you are very good!

Answer 6

i guess its ok but i didnt really understand it though but its still awesome !

Answer 7

i really love your poem and enjoyed reading it.

Answer 8

luved it:P