Last night my live in boyfriend and I took our dog out to a dog park. Everything was fine, I was in a good mood. So in the car he says "Yesterday I went to the mail box and there was this tall girl. I always thought she was really cute. She asked me for a cigarrette, and I said I don;t smoke. She said wow its hard to find a man that doesn;t smoke" Then I just walked away and she kept staring at me". I got pissed off. First of all, because there was no point in what he was telling me. I didn;t care, However the part where he says " I always thought she was really cute, ticked me off. Becasue I work 6 days a week, completely support this house and on my ONE day off he has to say something stupid like this, for what? Tp ruin my day? He doesn't even as much take the trash out around here. Then when he figured out that I was pissed, he says " Well if you want to have a trophy boyfriend, this is what you have to put up with". My reply " well stupid people say stupid things"
2007-07-15 06:16:28 · 17 answers · asked by Melissa J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I text msg him at work and said he needs to apologize (otherwise he is going to have to leave THIS house TONIGHT) He said he I have to apologize to him. Everytime an apology is due me, he turns it around where I have to apologize to HIM.
2007-07-15 06:21:48 · update #1
Wants me to know that other girls are checking him out? So he wants to ruin my self esteem by making disrespectful comments, in order to boost his own self esteem? And no one but HIM said that he is a 'trophy boyfriend'. I feel that comment was disrespectful to me. I am above average attractive, and I have a great job with the United Nations. I can't keep track of the sucessful and attractive men that approach me on a daily basis, and I do not tell him about it- there is no point. And I wouldn;t dare do that to him.
2007-07-15 06:27:12 · update #2
To Carol X. Yes, being honest is one thing. He could have said what happened. Though it didn;t matter. Hey things happen. However, he didn;t have to add " oh well I always thought she was really cute" What the hell? And I don;t appreciate him sitting around here checking out my neighbors while I work 6 days a week, and he works part time. And I pay everything around here and he pays NOTHING. Pays nothing, fixes NOTHING and cleans NOTHING. He washes his clothes int he washer and dryer that I bought and when I asked him to put it on his credit card and let ME pay it out, he complained.
2007-07-15 06:31:27 · update #3
Nandina, yes I did. When he moved in, we were supposed to get married. According to Texas law, my rights qualify under Common Law marriage, if I so choose to press it - which would only gain me property aquired while we lived together.. which all is mine anyway. We have joint accounts which we share the same last name ( his). However, after the recent disrespect.. I don;t even care about it anymore. He has been demoted from husband, to live in boyfriend. The next post you see from me, will be regarding my EX Boyfriend.
2007-07-15 07:04:09 · update #4
***UPDATE*** The jerk is so hard headed and stubborn and full of himself. He is currently sleeping in his car, instead of apologizing. And wther I over-reacted or NOT. You see he cares little about my feelings enough to at least say " Im sorry what I said hurt your feelings". Pooh on him.
2007-07-15 18:18:08 · update #5
Stupid people also put up with stupid boyfriends.
Ditch the bum... you shouldnt have to support anyone apart from your children and something tells me you dont want this one breeding.
2007-07-15 06:20:19 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was a totally inconsiderate comment on his part. It's almost like he's starting to test you,how far he can go and how much you'll take befoer you say that enough is enough.
And why are you the one supporting "his house?" I don't understand what that means exactly. But I think you mean that you're pretty much the sole breadwinner. Please make sure that he doesn't use you just for money. He seems a bit smug with that trophy boyfriend remark.
It's almost like something's up already here. The way you describe all this, it really feels like it's not the whole story. That there are some things going on that haven't been addressed and need to be resolved. Things that you want to be resolved. But you already know deep down inside what these things are, for sure!
Good luck and don't let anyone use you. You work hard and should enjoy your own money on your own terms.
YOUR EDIT:
He's trying to manipulate you. But you obviously see through his little maneuvers! Stand firm! It just sounds like you lost your patience with him. That what he said was what tipped the scale for you. Don't have any doubts about what you want. I think your reaction is totally normal. He's being an idiot and you called him on it. Now he doesn't like it!
Go with your intuition, your gut feeling. I don't want to guess what you're feeling and waht you want, but it really seems that what you want is have him out of your life. But that it's hard, really hard to finish the relationship once and for all.
2007-07-15 06:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be over reacting, but of course, there may be other things he has said that have made this situation more hurtful than you are explaining. After being married for 15 years to a really great guy, I say that men from time to time say the dumbest things. I mean that it is in a blundering way, and since I'm only human and capable of the same problem, I try to just let it go. He is other wise a wonderful and sincere person. Also, having the pretty girl make conversation with him was probably just a boost to his ego. My man can act pretty goofy if he gets flirted with. He can really look like a fool. Your bf definitely did not have any intentions of pursuing anything with the girl. If he did, he would not have told you about it. I'd let it go.
2007-07-15 07:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by I39 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, a couple of things to consider. 1) many guys have an inflated opinion of themselves. They always think women are giving them signals when they are not. 2) It might be a defensive mechanism to compensate for his feelings of low esteem. You say you work six days a week and completely support your house, so I'm assuming he doesn't have a job? He might feel embarrassed that a woman has to support him then, so he has to say things like that to pump up his self worth.
Personally, I think you can do much better than this guy. He sounds more like a 12 year old kid than a grown man.
2007-07-15 06:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Steven M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the bit that he said about the trophy boyfriend... why would he say that to you? Does he think he is loads better than you or do you think he is better than you?
If that is the case then you need to seriously reconsider your relationship because we are all meant to be equal in our relationships not one feeling that they are better than the other. That will never work and be completely demoralising to one party.
I wouldn't stand for my husband saying something like that he knows better than to say stuff like that out loud. If it happened then so be it but he wouldn't be rude enough to tell me.
Only you know where this relationship is going and whether it meets the needs that you have at this time.
good luck
2007-07-15 06:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Yoga Wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always want ot let it be known that they are attractive to others so i think that is why he mentioned that he thought she was cute. But he obviously felt gulity about the situation to have mentioned it in the first place. I would have just blown it off and be annoyed for a little bit.
2007-07-15 07:06:56 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a father:
Throw the sorry (free loading) bum out ! Good bye and good riddance. Be done with him completely..
And make sure the next guy at least has a steady job and is man enough to take care of you.
2007-07-15 06:30:23 · answer #7 · answered by JUAN FRAN$$$ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you thought about what he'd said and "baby you ain't no trophy that would mean I won you but you know what you are bought & paid for but now you've bored me so I'm kicking you on the curb with the rest of the trash".......
LOL
Now really you must dump that sorry little boy.
2007-07-15 06:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is clearly insecure! He knows what a loser he is, and yet he hopes beyond hope that you won't figure that out, so he created this imaginary conversation with an imaginary girl and tried to make it seem like she wants him so much she can hardly contain himself. What a jerk! It's time for him to go. Being alone is a happier state than being with a man who thinks he's a god. Tell him to go to his tall girl.
2007-07-15 06:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by Aiden 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! You are! He told u didnt he? He could have kept quiet & continued to go to the mail box to see her again etc.. He was being honest! Isnt that what most women want? Honesty? & just as a final note... share the load & u wont have to work so hard.. & then your boyfriend wont be concerned about walking on egg shells on ur precious day off!
2007-07-15 06:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Carol x 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, yes that was really thoughtless of him. I'm sure you know other guys than your bf that you think are cute, but you're not so thoughtless that you tell. Second, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't even take out the trash?
2007-07-15 06:24:54 · answer #11 · answered by Annie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋