is this a phase?

Question

I'm not quit sure how to deal with my 13 yr old, I go out buy her clothes, ( I take her with me so she picks them out) and then she wears her old rags, I remind her nicely about the newer clothes and she says oh this is fine mom, I don't want to nag her, I want her to make the change of looking nice when she's ready, I think its a comfort thing, will this change, when I go to town I feel weird because my other two our dressed really cute and she choose to dress like a bum what can I do,,,

Answer 1

It is just a phase and I see nothing wrong with it. I remember doing this, I did it just to show and let people know that I am original and not the same as every one else. She will be fine as long as she bathes and her clothes are clean that is all that matters. Remember people are not their clothes and material things and "looks" are not what is important. If she is respectful and honest that is truly what you are wanting out of your children.

Answer 2

It's prob. just a phase she is going through. Just tell her that if she doesnt wear her new clothes, your not going to buy her anymore. Eventually she is going to grow out of her old raggy clothes and need new clothes, and at that time you only buy clothes that you approve of.

I went through the same thing when i was 13, im 14 now. I would only wear ripped jeans and tight t-shirts. i looked like a teenage prostitue. Finally i just started wering normal clothes. You daughter will realize that the rag clothes make her look bad, and that she is fortunate to have good clothes.

Answer 3

I think the "rags" thing is a style issue for teens. I wouldn't worry about it and it certainly won't work to try to force her to dress some way at this age. She's interacting with others in her peer group, and they have a way of managing these issues in their own way with peer pressure etc. But why waste money buying new stuff if she doesn't wear it? Just tell her you're not buying any more until she wants to change her style and wear what you/she buys.

Answer 4

When I was younger, my mom would buy me nice clothes, except I would never wear them, even though I picked them out.

You should just toss out her clothes that you think make her look like a bum. When I wanted to start dressing nicer, I started with polos and new jeans, instead of old ones. They're simple, but they're better and comfortable.

Answer 5

When I was 13 I went through the same phase and grew out out of it. She's probably going through puberty and is a little embarrassed of her changing body. This is probably the only way for her to feel safe and relaxed in her new environment. Your doing a great job because the worse thing to do is to force her to change to quickly. She is like a caterpillar in cocoon changing her shape and becoming a butterfly!

Answer 6

Shes 13...she doesn't want to look "cute"...it' rally her choice. If you throw out the clothes she likes she will get VERY MAD at you. i know i would never talk to my mother again. Eventually she'll realize the clothes are not what the other teens are wearing and wear new clothes. Just leave her be...it's a phase...as she goes through her teens she'll have MANY phases!

Answer 7

My sister and I both went through similar "phases" when we were teens. I outgrew mine around the time of high school/college...my sister never outgrew her "phase" and today she is a drummer in a rock band (and a hair stylist as a day-job) and her clothing choices look completely appropriate for her line of work! so you never know :)

Our parent's were really patient. They let us pick out whatever clothes we wanted when we went shopping (as long as it was age-appropriate) and then never got on us about the outfits we chose to wear.

However, they did have standard "dress code rules" for things like church, holiday celebrations and large family functions. We respectfully complied :)

Answer 8

r they really rags?
if so...
tell her nicely (and politely) that if shes gonna buy new clothes, she needs 2 wear them. i know a girl that does sumthing similar: says she needs new clothes but refuses 2 wear them

maybe she isnt really interested in her new clothes? did she really pick them out or did u persuade her 2 choose sumthing else?

it sounds like a phase tho

Answer 9

That's a phase, u just can't help it. DON'T throw her old rags, but talk to her, and tell her(politely) that if she want's to wear old rags, then she must not by new ones. Give urr other 2 children a new dress(i noe that's cruel but still) and tell her, if she want's to have new clothes,she'll have to throw that rag.

Answer 10

yes its a phase i was exactly like her ..... when she hits like age 15 she will start to seee what the other girls are wearing and there apperance and she will def change she will also notice that guys look at her diffrent and she willl fef change..... before i used to wear my hair up in a bun and i ididnt xcare what i wore and it took me like ten min to get ready for school .... now it takes me almost an hour to get ready for school and i pick out my outfit from the day before..... if i channged she is def goingto change just dnt keep pushing her .....