Okay i have been married 3 yrs not so happily and we have a son who is almost 3 yrs old.The problems in my marriage stem from religius issues (he is jewish/i am catholic)all the way to different mind sets, family values,and morals.We cant agree on how to raise our son at all.We seperated for a year and since my hubby moved back in recently few weeks ago we have gone back to fighting non-stop.We tried counceling 3 times it only made things worse.I feel it may be better for our son if we divorce before things get any worse.I worry though about child custody issues?We live in NYC but my family lives in NJ so i will probably move.Before we seperated my husband told me he would not want custody of our son because he does not want that kind of responsibility?He also insinuated that he would want nothing to do with our child if it was raised my way instead of his?Could he ignore vistitation ect. if he wanted too?
2007-07-15 03:49:40 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My fear is he will try to cut our son out of his life for good?
2007-07-15 03:53:17 · update #1
Don't force him to have anything to do with your son. He doesn't have to see the child if he chooses not to but that doesn't let him off the hook as far as child support if he doesn't pay that then he will be in trouble, possibly jail time. When you file the divorce papers ask for sole custody with him having visitation rights at certain times, that way there is no question and he can't come back and say that you wouldn't allow him to see his son. Joint custody means that he will always have a say in matters and if you don't agree to everything than you will end up in court. For example, you would have to ask if it is ok with him if you move with the child to NJ. This man seems to have the attitude that things are either his way or else. It is better to be happily divorced than unhappily married and with it is only a matter of time before you son picks up on the constant fighting. If after the divorce he doesn't see your son, there is really nothing you can do about that but never bad mouth his father (believe me I know that is hard to do) your son will figure things out on his own and know that his father is very selfish and immature...Hope this has helped some.
2007-07-15 04:32:06 · answer #1 · answered by Angela F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he can ignore visitation and yes, if you divorce he can decide to not have his son in his life. You have a tough decision here. This is why I always tell people you need to make sure before you marry that you discuss things like religion and how the child will be raised.
Your husband is jewish.... one of you is going to have to bend on how the child will be raised. If you want to save your marriage and your family (which is top priority) you may need to agree to let your child be raised in his father's religion.
Ultimately your child will decide if he wants to continue worshipping that way when he is older, but for now it will keep the peace and keep your family together.
2007-07-15 05:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any parent willing to give up on their children does not deserve to have them. Kick him to the curb and find a new daddy for your child. My ex husband told me when we divorced that if I did not do what he wanted he would have the least amount of contact possible with our daughter. He was a total ***. I left that state and raised her with my family WHO WANTED HER around. I am married to a fantastic man who takes her as his own and they love each other. HIS family loves her. We are 10 years later, she is a fantastic human being , and all the better off to be rid of such a selfish and nasty father (we prefer to call him the sperm donor) Her father still has limited contact with her and tells her it is all my fault. She knows better. I rased her giving her full permission to the phone and to stamps and sent her on the plane when she and he asked. He had every opportunity. I surrounded her with loving men, my dad is a good grandfather adn husband to my mom, she saw this and is close to them, my brother is a good dad and husband to his wife, my daughter has been part of this, she has had many good sunday school teachers and friends that are great husbands and dads, so she knows how good men should treat their wives and children. At 18 she is not screwed up by having been raised by a very selfish and self loving person like her dad, and she is well rounded and emotionally healthy. You can move on and be better off for it. Do not hassel yourself with a selfish egocentric man. Get all the child support you can get and set up a visitation schedule. If he refuses to see your son, your son will be better off not learning how to be a real man from this BOZO. You ahve better things to do with your life with your baby, and I would say START NOW!
2007-07-15 10:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically find a lawyer, specializing in family relations and child custody. Find a bulldog in court basically. You will want to become the residential parent which allows YOU to make the decisions about where you can live. My husband is the residential parent for his daughter and has been since the initial papers were drawn up in 2005. KEEP A JOURNAL of everything. If he comes home to you and acts up, write it down, what happened and the date. Write down the hours that you have him, and the hours that she has him. If he comes home dirty, hungry, etc....write it down. A judge can see who the better provider is. More and more fathers are getting more rights regarding their children.
2016-04-01 05:17:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, in divorce court you will automatically be awarded child custody (unless ruled unfit) with child support and he will get state mandated visitation rights. Now whether he uses them or not is his choice but he will get them nonetheless from the court. He will still have to pay support whether he visits or not. The law cannot force him to visit his son other than giving him legal rights to do so. Its kinda sad when a father doesnt want anything to do with his own son but this does happen.
2007-07-15 04:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to worry about your son and yourself and not your selfish husband. For a man to say that about his son is stupid. You can not punish your child for his reliigion. if he wants nothing to do with your son thing move on with your life and be happy that your son can have another chance with someone who will not disown him for his religion. God is God and one day the world will see this. There is only one god and all God wants is for people to get along and make this world a better place for our children to grow up in. of course we are not doing a good job of this. For a man to say this about his son does not deserve to be part of his life anyway. You can do this on your own. You are still young and you can find someone who will love your son as his own!!!
2007-07-15 04:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by Karen S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has that attitude, let him walk. You and your son don't need squat from a man like that. Just make sure you get SOLE custody in the divorce papers... better yet, have him sign over all parental rights.
2007-07-15 04:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by maccrew6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him. Just get your child support in place. After paying a while, he will want to "see" what he is paying for.
2007-07-15 03:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes....but at least u'll get child support
2007-07-15 04:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋