especially if the guilty party truly regrets the liaison
2007-07-15 03:38:04 · 19 answers · asked by marcin p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many have. But it is truly hard, and both sides have a lot of work to do.
The cheater must accept more of the blame and responsibility, understand that the trust has to be rebuilt, and that rebuilding trust means that he/she must be totally transparent all the time with everything they do. They must willingly disclose upfront how every single solitary second of the day is spent, and not do so with an attitude. They have to do it willingly with the full understanding that this is the penance they have to pay to rebuild trust.
The cheatee also has to look deep in his/her heart of hearts....to see what they can do to improve as well. I am not into "blame the victime" mentality at all, but having been married a long time (and more than once) I know that all partners have opportunities to improve a be a better partner. And partnership is two way. Showing you get this gives the cheater more incentive to do what he/she has to do to rebuild the marriage as well.
Good luck.
2007-07-15 03:48:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the guilty party truly regrets the liaison, and is willing and capable of being trustworthy in the future, then the success or failure of the marriage is really dependent upon the other spouse's ability to forgive.
If they can forgive and move on, the marriage will be fine. If they cannot forgive, and instead hold onto bitterness and mistrust, the marriage will eventually fail no matter how much the partners pretend everything is fine.
I'd suggest a counselor (or pastor) - both alone and separately for the wounded party.
2007-07-15 11:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can but is not easy. It takes a very special person that can forgive and forget and move on. The relatioship trust has been damaged and will take some time to get back to the level before the affair. There will always be the "wonder if" when the other party comes home late or the phone rings and no one is there, and most of all is the question that can it happen again if the temptation arises. Alot of couples I have helped have survived an affair but not a second one
2007-07-15 10:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It is not easy and the pain doesn't just go away overnight but with dedication you will overcome the worse and rebuild the trust.
Talk about it. Generally the guilty party will want to just bury it. But the other party needs to talk about it until they have at least figured it out. Otherwise, it will never be resolved fully. It will come back again when triggered by some memories.
You can read up some books. One which I like is "Break Free from Affair."
2007-07-15 14:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Julia S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I have read the percentage of relationships married or not is very low. Cheating shows a major lack of respect or love for the person there with. Most cheaters are only sorry they got caught. I was in one cheating relationship and luckily we were not married and I moved on. Cheaters come up with all sorts of excuses but the right one. While the person is cheating do you think this person is thinking about there partner and how it will effect there relationship in one word...NO. Even worse is the possible STD they could give you the all safe condom is not 100% safe now there risking your life.....No Thankyou I don't need someone like that in my life sorry or not.
2007-07-15 10:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can if the two people want this, the person that cheated, has to work harder to build trust, in the relationship. Also the person forgiving, will have a hard time trusting, his or her partner, always having doubt until the trust is build up. I say yes, with a lot of prayer, love and trust it can happen.
2007-07-15 20:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by carmel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it will take a lot of hard work to regain any level of trust
My parents managed to get through it, but it was 5 years until my mother told my father I trust you completely again.
They only got through it because he was truly sorry for what had happened and loved mom. He kept proving to her he was worthy of her trust again. He knew and understood that the hard work had to be his. He never complained about that. She fought for him and an essentially good relationship. She slowly learned to trust again.
It increased my dad's respect for her Now they are stronger than ever
2007-07-15 11:02:43 · answer #7 · answered by MissE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it will still survive if genuine repentance, genuine forgiveness, trust and love will be the foundation as you start over again.
repentance requires not doing it again and forgiveness means that deep trust should be there.
avoid bringing up the infedility issue becasue the more it is brought up, the more it will be hard for both parties to start again.
goodluck.
2007-07-15 10:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by happy damsel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would depend on their level of remorse, and if they truly knew that what they did hurt u. depends on how many times they did it. takes a special kind of person to forgive, and not keep reliving it whenever there are disagreements, and there always is. therapy is often needed, and it takes alot of work, and communication to regain trust after its been broken, its not easy to do, and both parties have to want it.
2007-07-15 18:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe so. My sister and her husband have survived it. He cheated, she found out, they worked through it and are still married. Me on the other hand did not. My wife was having affairs (very many) and didn't care about it. I tried to talk to her and she kept sleeping around. I couldn't deal with it and had to file for divorce.
2007-07-15 10:44:37 · answer #10 · answered by egghead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋