I feel really bad. I'm 27 and there is a 16 year old teen who has a crush on me. He asks me out and tells me he is in love with me and how he thinks I'm sexy. He also tries to give me gifts which I tell him I can't accept. My best friend is also friends with the 16 yr old, and will invite him out when we eat lunch, the 16yr old will always try to buy lunch for me. He also tells me that he wants to lose his virginity to me, and about how he is lonely....
I DO NOT want to hurt his feelings because I know how it felt to be a lonely teen, I'm trying to find the best way to explain that he is just way too young, how can I do this nicely? what would be the nicest yet Firmest way to tell him he is making me uncomfortable and he is too young?
2007-07-15 01:48:38 · 10 answers · asked by Didi M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I apologize for asking this twice, but it's something really bothering me.
2007-07-15 02:04:41 · update #1
Just be kind and explain that you like him as a friend but that the age difference makes it impossible for anything other than friendship.
2007-07-15 01:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no reason to let him down gently. He needs to be told firmly that you are too old to date him. If you continue going to lunches and giving him hope, you may find yourself at the end of a lawsuit. This kid is jailbait whether you are a male or female. It works both ways. A 27 year old man would be in big trouble hanging around with a 16 year old girl. Be sure to be firm so it stops. You have no idea if he is telling his friends that he is dating you or more. All it will take for a parent to notify the police and you will need a costly lawyer to defend yourself. Do it today. He should be interested in a girl his own age.
2007-07-15 01:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
16 is too young for u to mess around with. but what I would say is your just gonna have to talk with him. Tell him
That he's a very nice and any girl would be lucky to have him as a friend or a boyfriend, the gifts are nice but I can't accept them because U know that I'm not in love with u it would be unfair to you because we're too far apart in age (PLUS) it's against the law and I'm pretty sure Ur parents wouldn't like it either.
I understand that u don't want to be the first one to turn him down or say no to him, but he needs to know.
It's either talk to him or stand the risk of getting in trouble for leading a 16 yr old kid on, the more u keep quiet the deeper the risk
Good Luck
2007-07-15 02:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him directly to stop, because he is too young and you feel uncomfortable like this. Although at first he may feel as though his heart is broken and the whole word has shattered, he'll heal in a while, and forget about it, and find another nice, pretty girl his age. Just don't talk to him anymore afterwards, and don't give him any hints that he might take the wrong way. Don't look at him, don't smile at him. Because if you do, it'll just make him hopeful again. Don't worry...he'll forget like THAT! After all, he's an unexperienced teenager. It's not as though he's completely mature yet.
2007-07-15 01:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by julia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only assume his name is Geoffery
Next time he ask's you out, or say's something to you, romantic or sexual, say:
'Geoffery, listen to me. I'm never going to be able to be with you, alright? You're just way too young! But don't get upset, ok? It's not because you aren't nice, or you aren't good looking or anything. It's just that you're too young, I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find a girl who really deserves you one day, but it's not going to be me.'
Modify as needed, hope this just gives you a basic idea of what you need to say. I'm a similar age to him, and I guess if I was like him and in his sort of situations, this would let me down alright. And you can't do this without hurting his feelings, I'm sorry.
2007-07-15 01:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by ChipsAhoy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Avoid flirting. You don't want to lead them to believe that s/he has a "chance" with you.
2. Keep your conversations light and on broad and basic topics.
3. Suggest someone else. If possible, talk about someone you think would adore them or that they would like.
4. Be honest. If your lover asks you straightforwardly for a date, respect him/her enough to give them an honest and straightforward answer. Saying "I like you as a friend but I'm not interested in you romantically." may sting a bit, but it's far less hurtful than leading someone on.
5. Tell the truth. If there is a more general statement that you can make with honesty (such as "I don't want to date anyone right now" or "I'm only dating so-and-so right now") go ahead and use it. But DON'T lie - when the truth comes out, they'll be much more hurt.
Tips
* If the person asks you to go out, make sure others go along so that it is clear that it's a group of friends hanging out.
* Involve him/her in outings with a group of people so that s/he does not feel like you are totally ignoring her/him, but including him/him... like a group of 6 of you going to movies.
* Don't ignore him/her, but let him know that you value her/his friendship and would never want to ruin the relationship you already have.
Warnings
* Flirting with others while out with a group may make him/her jealous, insecure or angry. Ensure he is told it's just a bunch of friends getting together.
* If s/he is following you around, avoid the places they often find you and try not to give them any death stares. That may push to violence. Trust me on that one.
2007-07-15 01:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a phase like this once, except about asking women for sex. When a guy like this asks or even mentions sex, be aware, this guy could be one of those potential stalker types. Tell him right to his face: "you're a nice guy but you're making me feel uncomfortable and this will definitely not work, I'm sorry." If he's truly nice and mature, he'll apologize and will just be your friend. If he gets defensive, you may have to be firm and hurt his feelings. It'll be a hard-learned kick-in-the-@$# life lesson for him. Hope this helps.
2007-07-15 02:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by trojanman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, I feel so bad for you. :( I had a similar problem before, but the difference is, he wasn't that young compared to me. He's 19 and I'm 21. I just tried to be honest to him and told him he was too young for me and I see him as a "brother" (just so it wouldn't hurt too much for him), and that I really wasn't ready for a relationship. Try to keep your distance from him but then also tell him that you want to be his friend, and ONLY his friend, nothing more. Good luck. Tell me how it goes if you can. E-mail me. :)
2007-07-15 01:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Yuki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You first tell your friend to stop inviting this kid anywhere with the two of you then you tell your friend to be present when you tell this kid no, you dont know what he will do or say when you shut him down, its 2007 and things arent the same, dont be so nice and let him down with dignity but be the adult and put him in his place dont feel bad for him break his heart and tell him to find girls his own age
2007-07-15 01:53:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
stop inviting him places with you, it is inappropriate
2007-07-18 23:05:52 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋