If some one really gets to you during pregnancy how should you handle it in a sensible manner?
I am 26 weeks pregnant with no 2 and we are going to my inlaws house next week for about 10 days.We stay very far away and are going after nearly 9 months.In general my mother in law is a very difficult and unpredictable person.I am aneamic aswell and I know she doesnt really worry much about my circumstances.How do you cope with her in communication and if she does try to pick arguements over petty things..I would probably not even be going but we are also attending a family wedding.
2007-07-13 23:53:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
take a good thick book with you and tell her your doctor said you need to rest, close the bedroom door and climb in bed read away!
2007-07-17 01:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zenu are u alone in this do you not have a partner .Can your other half not talk to his mother and have her remain calmer. If you could afford to stay at a hotel then do it. If not then you will have to get creative in avoiding these unnecessary arguments. If you feel they are and will be unavoidable then perhaps you should stay home. That might be considered not dealing with the situation . Try standing your ground by stating your point without letting it develop into a battle. Set some boundaries for this woman.Look at what part you play in these arguments because I can assure you they are not all one sided. Look at this visit as an opportunity to change the dynamics of the relationship instead of something to fear and dread. You see she already has you on the ropes and you not even to her house yet. Be strong be resilient ,be pliant so that you can bend.Toughen up don't be as sensitive and stop making excuses where you lay the blame at someone Else's feet. She will only treat you as you allow her to treat you.
2007-07-14 00:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by brian m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. That whole in law thing is so stressful. Are you staying in their home? I would insist on staying in a hotel. And how come for 10 days? That is really going to suck for you. Is it possible to stay for only part of the time? Since you are at your in laws I am assuming the wedding is in your husband's family, so is it possible that he stays the whole time, but you can go home early? Your husband should understand how stressful this is for you and be willing to come up with some kind of solution. His family, so it's his responsibility.
2007-07-14 02:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by I39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to stay for 10 days? If you really must go, then how about staying just for a night or two? (Or book into a B&B). Your health must come first.
However, if you have to stay for those 10 days, what I would suggest you do, is just let everything wash over you. It'll be over in 10 days. Try not to get involved with any arguments and keep your profile very low. If she doesn't leave you alone, then you may need to be assertive, and explain to her how you feel and what you want her to do about it.
2007-07-14 00:19:30 · answer #4 · answered by pickles 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a mother in law like that (actually I wasn't married to the son - but I may as well have been). She was ghastly to me and really critical. Eventually, I just got her pissed one night and told her how I felt about everything . She took it very well and even though I am not with her son anymore, we get on fine (she is grandma to my little boy). I wasn't rude to her or insulting, just as straightforward as she is !
2007-07-14 10:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, if you really can not handle the stress of being at your in-laws then stay at home. You do not have to do anything you don't want to and if this situation may cause problems then don't go.
You have to look after yourself and if you are anaemic then all you want to do is stay in bed. I know because I was anaemic in my second pregnancy.
Stay at home and relax, if they don't like it they will have to deal with it. Good luck.
2007-07-14 00:00:09 · answer #6 · answered by powder 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally if it was causing me stress even before i went then i would sit this one out. I spent a life time doing things that caused me stress and never put my self first because i was eager to please everyone else- then i had a breakdown and my life nearly ended- and who cared? I will tell you who cared- absolutely no-one- that's right- especially those who i had gone out of my way to please. Trust me darlin' mother-in-laws ain't worth the air that they breathe when they are like that- don't go- simple as that. If it causes a row- so what- you have the freedom to choose. If you really must go then teach yourself to meditate and when she starts go into meditative state and shut her out.
2007-07-14 10:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Ellie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i wouldn't go....your in the most vital part of your pregnancy and it will make you worse if you go, stay home and let your husband put up with her....you don't need the stress while your pregnant, if your husband asks why you don't want to go then tell him what you wrote in here....i too didn't get on with my ex MIL, and i made it clear that i didn't like her, she knew the score so i never joined in on family things with her, do yourself a favour, don't stress out over the thought of going to see her, 10 days is way too long to put up with her bickering and her snide remarks, just don't go....
2007-07-14 02:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is stressful dont go baby comes first, if you have to go can you just pop down for a day at the end just to say hello, if you really have to do the whole 10 days go out walk in the park, relax, avoid stress,
2007-07-14 00:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by ♥**•.¸¸verbalkint♥**•.¸¸ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you have to go with everyone
could you just make a trip for the wedding and then get back
would save all the hassle and avoiding you m/in/law
2007-07-14 04:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by ~*tigger*~ ** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋