why do some people assume servers are uneducated and are not trying to better their lives?

Question

I'm a server in a popular chain restaurant, and also a college student working on my nursing degree at a university. It absolutely makes me so angry when people think I'm some idiot waitress who is a low life with no goals or ambitions. Why do people feel the need to judge a complete stranger? Why can't some people accept that you can work as a server AND be in school at the same time? I can take the abuse that people give, because I know me better than they do, but don't judge someone until you know them!!!! Trust me, there are idiot servers out there who are totally incompetent, and I'm embarrassed to work at the same place as they do!

WiseGuy...perhaps you misunderstood my question. Anyways, I make good money (and I live in Cali so I do get minimum wage) and it pays for me to get through college, so of course I took the job. I just want people to treat me with respect and not like some illiterate fool. That's all.

Answer 1

Larry has it right. Yes, I've seen slovenly servers who acted so stupid I'm surprised they figured out how to breathe air. But every position in life has its share of village idiots. That's just the way it is. I only waited tables for about two weeks before decided that I'd rather cook, lol. That was during my junior year in high school. It only took that short period of time, and four years in the food industry while in high school, to gain the utmost respect for competent servers.

Being a server, in general, sucks. The job title is quite literal...you serve people. Period. That probably wouldn't be so bad if people didn't suck too. I don't know why some people have to be so damn rude and mean to servers when they dine out. I've witnessed the nicest people turn into ******* and biznitches when they deal with their servers. ITS UNACCEPTABLE! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to turn to the guy sitting at the table behind me and knock him the hell out. They'll be rude to the server, then do nothing but talk crap about him/her while the server is away. I've heard people scheme about complaining to the manager about the server so that they can get a free meal! Disgusting wretches!

I'll admit, when I'm dining I expect a certain quality of service, depending on where I am. It's not because I'm an ******. It's because i expect everybody who does any job to try and do their best, especially if it affects me. I never look down on a server. Why shoud I? They're helping me enjoy a meal and making my time there comfortable.

Nobody knows who they're dealing with when they dine out (unless they already know each other). The person serving could have a college degree, or be working on one. Or they could be working as a server to make ends meet between high paying jobs (ever have a huge industry lay off a lot of people suddenly in your area?). The person being served could be a janitor who never finished middle-school, or a somebody with a low paying, menial position in life who jumps at the chance to lord it over somebody for an hour. To me, the worst are those who think they know something about fine dining and think being abrupt or rude to the server is part of the whole deal. I sometimes like to go to Olive Garden for a cheap but decent meal. It drives me crazy when a couple or small group comes in and they think they're dining in a 5 star restraunt. They put on airs and try to lord it over the server, then talk about their 'fine dining' experiences at The Outback and how 'real servers' should be. SMACK!

I give props to all servers out there for doing what you have to do to make ends meet. Thank you for all the hard work you do to try to keep the idiots out there satisfied. Don't let them bring you down. Now, where's my f'ing coffee!?!? (joking, joking, lol)

Answer 2

Meg
I have a somewhat educated insight into this "thing" you're speaking of here.... And, I can assure you that it isn't simply a thing of people believing that you and other servers are uneducated OR idiots -- a lot of the attitudes that you and others get here -- comes from the FACT that a lot of people use the situation of YOU being at THEIR service to excercise a power play option that they only have in very limited quantity within their lives !! There are a great number of people who are living lives that are made up of completely powerless positions -- and when they have the opportunity to have someone at THEIR disposal -- they turn into tyrants !!
On the other end of this thing -- is the people who are SOO spoiled by people kissing up and giving them everything in the world that they squeel for -- they think that the world should be consistantly jumping through hoops for them !!
And, then you have the people who think that when they order anything at all -- it should automatically come to them in the exact way that mom would have made it -- without ever saying to anyone how that particular way IS !!
Another factor is the vending machine scenario -- people get so used to dropping in a coin -- pushing a button -- and getting exactly what they "ordered" immediately -- they want that kind of "service" with everything they ask for !!! Immediately !!!!

These are observations made over a great deal of time -- I have eaten thousands of meals at restaurants over many many years and have seen these things I've discussed herein play out time and time again !! Granted, there are a number of people IN service in some of these places that have NO place trying to serve the public at ANYTHING -- let alone the food services -- but, there are thousands of amazingly sharp and stunningly brilliant people working these jobs also that have to endure some unbelievable behavior in people that should be asked to leave with the first words out of their mouths !!!!

Answer 3

Unfortunately they feel the same about managers in a restaurant. I am one. I am educated.I went to school for hospitality. Its all about the way they have been treated at some restaurants. I teach my servers to stray away from any slang. The reason for this is to show that we are educated and they shouldn't treat us like we aren't. Some people have had it good and never had to work through college and so they don't understand and never will unless they experience it. Just don't let people get a chance to prove you wrong about being educated. make sure that you know everything that your establishment has to offer. Know the menu like the back of your hand and know more than your consumer so if they ask a question you know the answer.

Answer 4

Amen! I think its from some stereotype about servers being women and back in the day women didn't go to school. The best thing you can do to prevent this is to talk to your customers and nudge in there somewhere that you are in nursing school. And this is not to say that you didn't already know that, but it may help quell the problem and even get you bigger tips, because another common stereotype is that college students are poor. And you can use that to your advantage.

Answer 5

Amen! I owned my own restaurant and waitressed while my husband cooked. All I got was ignorant people who knew me saying "I thought you'd do better in life." I OWNED the place for G-d's sake! And because of that I got tipped rarely. I had high-power attorneys give me crap. Best thing you can do is say "Why do you think that, I love my job! And it's putting me through nursing school! This isn't forever you know?" With a huge smile on your face.

It's frustrating, but the "kill them with kindness" thing usually shuts them up and gets you better tips.

(And congrats on college!)

Answer 6

Congratulations on achieving a higher standard for yourself and putting the world behind you while you do it.The world is a cruel place to live in and there will be people who just are not meant to be anything but what they have made themselves to be and that is obstinant.I have worked in retail and the restaurant business for over half my life and I have come to this conclusion.We are a society that has and always will be a circle of GIVE and TAKE.It takes people like us in our communities to give to the public what they need to make it in life and on an everyday basis.What most people don't remember is that we all at one time were at the bottom of the totem pole and had to work ourselves up to where we are today.As far as intelligence is concerned, those who look down on people in fields that offer little income and lots of hard work obviously have to work harder than we do to make us feel belittled.It takes more energy to get upset and conceited than it does to offer someone working the easy compliment of thank-you.People work in all kinds of fields to pay for a higher education.As long as you are determined to get ahead then you are always going to be the one who one day looks at another who is in your same position and say"Been there,done that.Good luck and you will do just fine." A little empathy never hurt anyone.If it wasn't for all of us working the jobs and fields that we do,then i guess we would all be still plowing fields and sweating in the hot sun living in colonial times.Brush the everyday off your shoulders and keep your head high.Remember:BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT.Good luck with college.It's alot of hard work but i know you will be exceptional at it.When you get your diploma,walk proudly and be proud.Good luck hon.

Answer 7

It never ceases to amaze me the way people look right thru you when you're in the food service industry!!

I was in banking for more than 8 years and left to go into fine dining/catering becuase the money was so much better AND the job was more interesting. It bothered me that people acted that way at first, but I got over it. If they want to be that shallow and silly,it's their problem, not mine.

Answer 8

Because you took a job, working for an employer who Refuses to pay you even Minimum Wage! Then you expect the general public to Pity your Plight, by demanding they pay and additional (predetermined) percentage over and above the inflated cost of the product.
So you see it is nothing personal, and has nothing to do with Intelligence, it is an overall Disdain for the JOB - and fact that you have Chosen that job.

P. S. We tip 30% or more, brecause we decide a $Amt the service is worth.

Answer 9

People are just prudes. I used to live in a high tech neighborhood, (everyone worked in that field). When tech went down, I saw lots of my neighbors working in restaurants and grocery stores and department stores. They stood proud.

Answer 10

i totally know how you feel on this one because i am a server myself and i am a college student. i guess people tend to look down upon servers because our job is to serve people and how much does that sound like a slave. i dont know if you knwo what i mean.