My husband is 2000 miles away for a one month specialized training. He called my frequently towards the beginning of the month, now, maybe once or twice a day. I know he'd been going out on the weekends to get drunk with his classmates, but I decided to look up our cellphone account and I saw that he had been text messaging some woman; both messaging frequently for the past week. I called her number and she of course claimed that I had the wrong number. I have been trying to call his cell phone and hotel he's staying at, but no answer. He's the one that has always been paranoid about me cheating on him even though I never have or would want to. Do I try calling him still or let him call me back? I've left him numerous txt messages and 3 voicemails.
2007-07-13 19:49:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well ask him if he met any new friends and if he comes clean then hes being honest. but if he doenst then i would just be honest and ask him what the number is. he is your husband and you have a right to know what is going on. but i have to say that when someone is paranoid about the other person cheating its because they are normally the one that is feeling guilty for something they may have done.
2007-07-13 20:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by * 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This doesn't look good. Mostly likely he is cheating on you and at this time, there is no use in calling him because I'm sure he rec'd your txt & voicemails but just hasn't made the time to call you back. Since you know where he is staying, I would do a surprise visit on him. Even if you can only be there for a few days. You may not necessary catch him in the act but at least it's a warning for him that you know something is not right. However, don't start a fight and don't nag when you are there because that will annoy him and will push him towards the other girl. You want to wait until he returns to the states to settle the situation.
2007-07-14 03:08:02 · answer #2 · answered by single_n_hopeful 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to put him on the spot when you see him. Tell him the truth...you checked into the account and you noticed the texting, then ask him who that person is. If he makes something up you`ll know right away.
You should re-consider letting him go out with his classmates, and you shouldnt allow him to get drunk when you are not around. You should also make sure he knows that you will not tolerate it if he doesnt call you back right away.
Anyhow, it sure sounds like he is cheating based on what you said.
2007-07-14 03:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by toronto_chick3000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is cheating, thinking of cheating, or he is just plain too drunk after playing with his 'buddies' The text stuff you found points to his cheating. There is not much you can do to stop him, if you call him over and over again, he will just hide it more. He is lying to you and he will continue to lie. You can call him and try to get ahold of him, but he will continue to do what he is doing regardless. You will have to make up your mind as to whether or not you can live with this lie for the rest of your life. You relationship will never be the same for your trust is now broken. If he does come home, he will go out and do it again with that woman he has contact with now, or with another one that is worse. I feel sorry for you, truly.
2007-07-14 03:25:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to say if he is cheating or not, but his actions and behaviour are quite strange. For this woman to lie to you obviously means something is going on, but to what extent. And as for him not to answer your calls and txts thats just heaps sad and strange that a husband wouldnt answer his wife, I bet its leaving you feeling anxious and helpless about the whole situation that you cant work out what is going on in your relationship with your husband as you are so faraway from each other. Perhaps you should give him a surprise visit. I would keep trying to get into contact with him if I was you, after all he is your husband. If he is paranoid about you cheating often that means the person themselves is cheating. Go on your gut instincts if you is feeling funny in your tummy its trying to tell you something. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-07-14 03:08:24 · answer #5 · answered by sara d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I no what your going through and how bad you are feeling; you want to know but your afraid it might be true. You need to get yourself there where he is and fight for your husband because if you don't you will lose him to this other woman.Now that she knows you are aware of her and that something might be going on between them she is going to turn up the heat on your husband . This woman wants your husband and will do what ever it takes to get him away from you,she don't care about you because your husband is telling her you two have not been sleeping together and it's been over for sometime .Just like you, your husband tells you what you want to hear and that is what he is telling her. Don't wait for a phone call from him just get to him anyway you can don't let them fell in love or lust.I no you don't want to hear this but husbands like yours and mine have affairs more then not.If they are drinking together and he is staying in a hotel he doesn't have to worry about you walking in on them well I'm sorry to say he is up to no good. Don't be naive like i was i kept saying to myself he loves me he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I fount out the hard way that my husband had a side to him i knew nothing about just like all men have a side that they do not want the wife to no about that's where the other woman comes in he can get her to do just about anything he wouldn't dare ask the wife to do. The other woman has no pride so she will do to him what he has only dreamed of getting.She is there to please him and to take him away from the wife.
2007-07-14 03:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know it sounds like he is cheating on you and you know i know some girls that had the same problem as you and you know when the guy or the girl who is paranoid telling you that you are cheating it's because they are the ones cheating in the relationship and you know the paranoiding and the text messaging and the phone calls and coming home late those are clues
2007-07-14 02:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by sofia l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would trust your instincts. Especially because that woman lied. I left my first finance for cheating and he constantly accused me of cheating all the time. This is a big red flag. I'm sorry to hear it. Been there and done that so I know how that feels.
2007-07-14 02:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by amyaz_98 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give him enough rope to hang himself, since everything done in the dark, eventually comes to light.
You're his wife. You have major rank over any chick on the side. Use it.
As hard as it may be, give him the benefit of the doubt. Keep a running tally of all that is going on. Formulate a plan of action, and if an ultimatum may be one of them be prepared to follow through on it. When he comes home, confront him; do not allow him to divert your attention elsewhere.
Good luck!!
2007-07-14 03:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by Prodigalchild 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a cheat. I was married to one of those. Don't call him anymore. Let him worry about you. See how long it takes him to call u back. The reason he was paranoid about you cheating was his on insecurity talking. Good luck
2007-07-14 02:56:13 · answer #10 · answered by leeniegirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋