Why do men usually blame women for their problems?

Question

OK, before I get jumped all over, yes, I know I'm generalizing. I asked a serious relationship question last night about my husband and many of the men either didn't read my details or jumped to the conclusion that it's the wife's responsibility to be a door mat for her husband. What the heck? Please tell me that not all men are like that. It appears that even my husband is blaming me for his actions. What ever happened to accountability?

I know, I was being vauge. If anyone wants more details, you can read my question from yesterday - it should clear some stuff up a bit.

Answer 1

No one is perfect, however one may pretend to be so. Many of these problems start from the lack of understanding of the needs and fallacies and fads of the partner. There are areas in human relationships where jealousy and one up man-ship begin to develop. If the partners realize that we are fallible and that each one of us has to give some space and scope for the other, many problems would vanish. But this does not happen in real life. It is extremely difficult to admit. Secondly, we tend to hide our deficiency by throwing salvos on the other. If this this not done, problems that loom large would appear small. Thirdly, for any deficiency, the attitude should on one of compassion rather than confrontation. If the husband leaves wife unsatisfied on bed, these could be improved upon by mutual cooperation rather than being peevish over it and taking it out on other things.

Answer 2

believe it or not but women have just has many sexual problems, let see there is a couple of issues that men have like they can not have a erection or they can not last longer than a min, well women have this issue they can not reach the big O but you would never know it because .. well we have nothing to get up so all we have to do is lay back, and that about covers men first two issues with the woman's one issue, so of course we blame you because you don't make us come, well hell,, most want tell you because only whores do that or so that is what were brought up to believe, porn i believe is a jealously thing, your looking at women hotter than us and you know what they men on the porn are not that hot, yeah they have a penis the size of a overly large sausage but that is about it, the women are most very pretty so were jealous, now why would a man not want sex, lets see, 1 he works long hours and is tired.. 2 he is just tired of being judge on his sexual Performance ..3 maybe he is just sick of her fussing at him, course that can be true on her part as well, if 2 people do not sit down and talk about sex and what they want out of it than both will walk away unfilled

Answer 3

I don't do this. "Usually" is not a good way to put it because that is a generalization no matter how you try to qualify it otherwise.

Some women blame men for all their problems also. I know women who do it constantly.

Men and women are not very different. I don't get the obsession about needing to act as if men and women are practically two different species. PEOPLE engage in the behavior you're speaking of. They do it for the same reasons no matter what sex they belong to, and both sexes almost certainly do it an equal amount.

If this question is only about your husband, then rephrase it to refer only to your husband. Generalizations such as you have indeed made here are insulting and asinine.

That said, people who blame others for their problems do so because they are weak, insecure and angry.

P.S.: Pandora--I totally disagree with your opinion. There you go. Your guarantee was false. I find your opinion on the subject to be flatly hideous and demeaning.

Answer 4

No, not every man is like this. You have to stand up for yourself and tell your husband to take some responsibility for his own actions. While you may be his wife, you are not his puppet master.

Men, who do this, do it because they can. Our society is still full of inequality between the sexes. Feminism has done a lot of good, but men are struggling to get their power back. There are even bints of women out there who still believe in 'traditional roles' and raise their daughters to be just as submissive as a 1950s waifs of women. Sons are raised that they are to be men who rely on their wives and mothers for any and all civility in their lives. Little boys raised by stupid mothers get away with anything because they are boys. The old saying, 'boys will be boys' is unfortunately still very alive these days. Men don't have to be responsible for their actions when they've got a submissive bint of a wife to blame.

Of course, this clearly doesn't apply to all men. My husband would never dare blame me for his actions. You can make a man feel bad, but what he does about it is his responsibility.

Stand up to your husband. You don't have to be a submissive bint run on emotions and 'feminine intuition'.

Answer 5

Nobody enjoys being responsible for their own actions, but no not every husband is like that all the time.

Every person does it sometimes, but not everyone every time. My husband is a big proponent of accountability, which means I have to be accountable as well.

I think accountability was breed out of the most recent generations in the education system... you know, you pass even if you don't do the work. That is where you learn to be unaccountable for your actions.

Answer 6

What did he do that he is blaming you for? A bit vague don't you think. Accountability is a two-edged sword especially in marriage. You may have done something, inadvertantly of course, that set him off. If he is just blaming you and he doesn't want to admit its his fault then, well, he's just being an ***.

Answer 7

I am a married woman, and have been married now for 3 years. I feel that some men have security issues especially when they are busted for cheating and a lot of times they tell off on themselves just watch the signs. Watch the way he acts!

Answer 8

Hey may have a complex. His ego is too big for him and if I were you I would turn the tables on him.

Explain how he emotionally abuses you and how he has ruined your self image, life and happiness.

Tell him to stop being a coward/pus*y and act like a man or you will have to find one.

Also suggest marriage counseling or you will seperate. There are good men just dont look for them at bars or anything; try your local church or something.

I can only hope you can better your situation. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

I have known many men like this....I think they blame women
because they are not mature people...and it is easier for them to blame someone else....

...and some men are even worse than that...some will even endlessly point out a womens problems...while they pretend to themselves they have none or few...also they like to point out someone else's problems...or have the woman so busy worrying about herself...than see that they themselves are terrible...

...not all men are like that...there are a few who are good and mature people...and are going to be accountable and take responsibility for themselves and their actions....

Answer 10

Men don't usually blame women for their troubles. It's usually the other way around. Yes, there is a such thing as accountability, however, you should really evaluate what your husband is blaming you for to make sure that you aren't to blame. It's the least you could do. It's not the wife's responsibility to be a door mat...however, as part of a partnership you are responsible for helping come up with a solution to a problem. You're the woman. You should know this already.