i wanted to get the license for my degree for me to be a full time professional and get some hospital experience and resume my duty in the US for greener pasture.& that wilmake my family proud of me. that's all i've wanted since then..however,something came up that changed all these dreams.im now in a 5yr relationship and both of us were planning to settle down early of 2008. he knows about my dreams but he really dont want me to go there, now that were planning to settle down and build a family of our own. he said that he'll give me my whole year salary that i can earn in US just for me to stay.im just confused. i wanted to stay for him cuz i love him and i dont know what wil my luck abrod. but i want to leave as well for my dreams. my family in US keeps on telling me how beautiful the country was and that there you can find an endless opportunity. im so much presured. if i wont go to US my family will get frustrated and if i wil my fiance will think that im selfish...HELP
2007-07-13 17:46:46 · 4 answers · asked by walaahk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Being pressured does not feel good. It sounds like he wants you to live up to HIS dreams, not yours. You must look deep inside yourself to decide what is best for your dreams. He has known what your dreams are for a long time. Your parents, who gave you the first dream, know you have had this boyfriend for 5 years, yet want you to give him up. Both sides of this argument have one of your hands, and they are both pulling as hard as they can. Perhaps you might want to go an entirely different way than either of those sides. Take time to think on your own, away from either side. Do what will truly make you happy with yourself.
Neither side will be happy with you at first, if you go to the other side. But in a few years, when they see how happy you have become, they will respect your decision. So will you.
2007-07-13 17:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky one and I could write all day about why you should go or why you should not go.
In the end my opinion is this:
If you stay you will end up regretting your boyfriend. You will end up blaming him for your missed opportunities. You will end up losing him in the end because this will put pressure on your relationship so badly and you will resent him and you will fall apart.
If he loved you, if he TRULY loves you, he would never ask you to stay and try and bribe you into staying. He is using money as a tool to bribe you. Do not fall for it. No matter how much money you have it will never be enough to compensate a missed opportunity like this. You ahve worked hard for this. You need this. You deserve this. He shoudl be happy for you and put himself second to you, if he does not do this (which he hasnt) then he is just being purely selfish.
"If you love someone set them free, if they were always truly yours, they will return, if they do not return they were never really yours to begin with"
You need this experience for YOU. Its hard to leave him but you must do it. It doesnt mean you need to break up, you can have visits, he could go with you, you can write, phone, talk, email everyday etc... but you must do this. If he truly cant see this and let you go then he is not right for you.
You will regret the decision for the rest of your life if you do not follow your heart and take the chance on this wonderful experience.
If you fiance thinks your selfish, tell him he is selfish. he is the one holding you back from reaching your dreams and goals in life just because he cant be without you for a short while. If people lvoe each other they put each other first. end of story.
Your family know whats best for you, they have loved you and been there for you forever and they know whats right. Follow your heart, trust me, make the chance, see the world. You will never regret it.
Remember to put yourself first. Your needs are most important, this would be great for you.
2007-07-13 18:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by Kira 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to do what you feel in your heart. will you regret the decision and resent your fiancee if you dont come to the us and make yourself miserable or will it be the other way around, will you regret and miss him too much and not be happy in the us and wonder what your life would be like if you stayed?! only you know the answer to both and must decide on your own. or come to the us for a year and see it for yourself if you would like it or not, not by what other people say and remember sometimes the grass is greener in your own backyard too!
2007-07-13 18:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by goodear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who's going to hold you down like that doesn't love you, just wants to control you.
Don't grow old and wrinkly with a treasure case of what if's
If he truely loves you he will either let you go or come with you.
Don't let yourself be controlled
All the best
2007-07-13 17:55:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋