Do you believe that men are naturally inclined to be more dominant and women are more submissive?

Question

dominant = strong, independent, assertive, not controlling and possessive or abusive
submissive = yielding, altruistic, not a masochistic doormat

i think feminists are cool, i think men & women should be equal in the workplace but in relationships......don't you agree that the divorce rate wouldnt be as high if one person was more.....submissive?
also, do you think its a natural thing for women to be submissive (i.e. biological and not cultural)? i do because i love doing things for other people and it makes me feel natural and more feminine.....just wondered if any other women felt like this too?

thanks for answering :)

Answer 1

"Dominant" and "Submissive" are actually the traditional notions of gender identity for feminine traits and masculine traits, respectively (it's in my textbook-see below). And, generally speaking, yes, in most cases that is how it is. And in most cultures around the world, usually that is the case. And that is not necessarily wrong or unfair. In a partnership between two people, if both people are dominant then what would happen? If both people are submissive then what would happen?

I'm not sure about the biological reasons behind this. But definitely there are some biological differences between men and women, if only the obvious ones we can see. Men are generally physically bigger and stronger than women.

When you say that you "think feminists are cool", do you understand that most, if not all, feminists would disagree with your whole question as stated above? You should read some of the stuff feminists write about. Some of the radical ones hope for a world where there is no gender at all, and babies are born outside of the womens body. Why? All in the name of "equality." If there was no gender at all, and women didn't have babies just like men don't have babies, then "equality" would occur and women wouldn't have to be "burdened" by pregnancy and early-childhood care.

Because a lot feminists simply don't like the traditional concept of motherhood. A lot of feminists think that being a housewife is akin to slavery, and that women must go outside the home and join men in the workplace(and perhaps tempt men into extra-curricular activities in the process). Well, I would pose this question to these feminists: do you want to have equal percentages in jobs like security(i.e., police, fire fighting, bodyguards) and plumbing, construction and lawn care? Don't get me wrong, women play a vital role in many professions, but at the same time everyone can clearly see that women have higher percentages in certain jobs. Here's the facts from my Sociology book(which I took last semester): the top 7 jobs with the highest concentrations of women:
1. Family child-care provider(449,000) - 98.7%
2. Secretary (2,366,000) - 98.4%
3. Dental hygienist(113,000) - 97.8%
4. Prekindergarten and Kindergarten teacher(637,000) - 97.8%
5.Private household child-care worker(232,000) - 97.0%
6. Receptionist(1,016,000) - 97.0%
7. Dental assistant(212,000) - 96.8%

And I can tell you, with almost 99.9% certainty, that unless I am really forced to, I will not enter into any one of those careers, and that most men would feel the same. Does this mean that I find these careers to be somehow inferior or unnecessary? Not at all. I believe all of those careers are vital, and without them our current society cannot function properly. But here's something interesting though - examine each of these careers and think about them carefully. Do you feel that some of these careers reflect how our society is structured? What I mean is: will you find each of these careers in other cultures around the world? I won't argue with #3 & #4, but the others raise some questions, and also some irony. What's ironic about it, you must be asking? For sure, #5, and I really shouldn't have to tell you why.

But back to your original question - in our current society, the trend nowadays is for women to be more and more aggressive, and also dominant. I do believe that the divorce rates reflect the trends that the feminist and "free-love" movements of the late 1960s have sparked. How can you argue against this - how can people say that feminism and the movements of the late 60s had no effect whatsoever on the deterioration of the institution of marriage, and the fact that promiscuity is rampant? Let us be clear with ourselves here.

That men and women should have general roles and complementary roles is not something bad. How would a society be if people were all confused? How would a society be if people felt repressed, if people had low self-esteem, if people were constantly filled with lust, if people were constantly obsessed with trivialities, and if people were felt that they were unloved? These things are all happening, but many of us don't want to open our eyes. They may not be happening to everyone, but if that was happening to even 2% of all the people would this be OK, & not a big deal?

I've been typing for a while, and my hands are getting tired, and so are my eyes. In closing I'll say what I've said before - women and men need each other to survive. Of course we know that intuitively, we know about the facts of life. Another thing is that men and women, although they share many many similarities, they aren't equal. And there are some biological and physical differences, which manifest themselves in social ways. Thus, when we try to tamper and even do away with these natural differences, we encounter problems. Thus we should try to work with what we have, and support each others' strengths. Men and women should complement(and compliment at times) each other. There are many women in my life who I love dearly, and I hope one day to be married to a woman who will make me better. It's 12:54am here in southern louisiana, and I need to get to sleep. Good night everyone.

Answer 2

It's not that women are submissive, but I think that deep down inside most women feel the need to be dominated by a man, as it gives them a sens of protection and security. But as some women are stronger then others, it take a very strong man to dominate a strong woman, so in many cases she ends up as the dominant party in couple, because she can't find a man that is stronger then her. In the end it's the same thing as in the animal world . The stronger male , the dominant male is the one females want because he has the best genes and will assure the survival of the species.

Answer 3

Just because you are one way doesn't mean that every woman is. I am fairly take-charge, and I love getting into debates with people. Those are my traits, not all of womankind's. Also, I don't think being nice and being submissive are the same thing at all, anyway.

Submission/dominance are definitely not sex specific traits. They are gender specific in our culture, as most of us equate dominance with being a man, and submission with being a woman. Really, though, those are learned behaviors instilled in us from infancy. It's different in different cultures.

And the divorce rate would be just as high if one half of the couple was expected to be submissive when they just didn't feel it. Some people (men as well as women) prefer to be more submissive in a relationship, but some are the domineering types, while others are kind of half and half. What would help more is if people had a better idea of what they were like so that they could find partners to compliment them. A submissive woman wouldn't have a good marriage with a man that expected equality and partnership.

Answer 4

I feel the same way you do. I think it was supposed to be that way, and the way God created things.

But as well as we all can observe, America has made up its own definitions for how life should be, and what makes it fair.

Divorce rates sometimes have nothing to do with the conflict between two people. Most of the time it has everything to do with motive and lack of concern for anyone but themselves. If America would start posting all of the divorce statistics along with the God issue...I think things would become a lot more clear.

And yes, women are made more emotional than men...and men are just more aggressive (physically and mentally) Not all women are strictly mousy, and not all men are strictly angry asses. It varies from person to person, and opinion to opinion.

You have a wonderful heart and I can see that....you have a true womans heart. Women were created to make an impact, and help others. You are doing just that.

Answer 5

No, I don't believe it's a natural inclination. If you raised a boy and a girl without knowing anything of gender roles, they would probably turn out to be relatively equal on the dominance scale.

The divorce rate would go down if BOTH partners were a little more submissive. One person shouldn't have power over the other.

I like doing things for other people, but I don't feel more feminine doing it. I always feel feminine. I'm a woman.

Answer 6

I think it's natural women are submissive because we are smaller and weaker than males. The females defend the home however, so they tend to be more aggressive than the male. But it's also cultural as well.

I don't think women should get treated the same in the work place because you obviously wouldn't tell the same jokes to a girl that you would to a guy.

I think some feminists are a little overboard.

Also, not that some lesbians are more attracted to women that are dressed like guys. Kinda like they're looking for a guy. Same thing for girly guys. Less dominant.

Answer 7

No.

Are you talking about dominance in interactions overall, or just in the bedroom?

Taking care of people takes many forms!

Don't you think someone would feel good when they 'rescued' a friend from a break-down out on the highway?

Or when they earned a bonus and were able to spend that money on luxury items for their loved ones?

Or maybe when they took a recently single friend out on the town for a night of debauchery?

Those are all 'masculine' acts, according to our society, but they come down to taking care of people.

Answer 8

No, I believe you're wrong; see, right now I live in a country where the women go out of their ways to cater to their men, still divorce; though it's swept under the rug, happens over here like wildfire. It would be so nice if we could pinpoint the solution to the problem as that and that only; only truth be told we can not. The worse thing a woman can be according to my book is submissive, that allows the man to treat her in anyway shape or form he desires. That is wrong. A woman should be strong, assertive, and confident enough to stand up for herself. I'm obedient at the same time I don't have one single submissive bone in my body. I will never allow my husband to treat me like dirt. Enough on that. Back to what we are talking about; no that would not end the divorce problem. I wish I could tell you oh yes it will, the truth is it won't.

Answer 9

Your 20th century western preconceptions are so cute.

I think divorce would be less high if our work and community patterns didn't demand more than is humanly possible from any couple, regardless of how Dom/sub their relationship might be. I think submissive women will hope their Doms will take care of them - and be helpless when the Doms die or desert them.

And I think human beings need to be able to take care of themselves, and each other, regardless of their genders.

If dominance/submission turns you on, makes you more the person you CHOOSE to be... whatever, gal, it's your life. And all your choices remain your responsibility. I think your interpretation of your activities of "doing things for other people" as not strong, not independent, not assertive, and as altruistic, is a fascinating interpretation, the imposition of amazing cultural values as filters on perception.

Answer 10

(I heard this story in India).

At last, god appeared to humans and said:

"I have come to assess the situation of my creation.
I want men to form two queues - one queue for
men who dominated their women, and the other
for men who were dominated by their women.
Further, I want all the women to go away so that no
man and woman can talk while the queues are formed"

When God came back after a while, the women are gone
and there are two queues. The queue for the men who
were dominated by their women is 100 miles long.
In the other queue, there is only one man.

God got angry and said, "You men should be ashamed
of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you
are not using what you can. Look at the only
one of my sons who stood up in the other queue
and made me proud. Learn from him!"

The men did not give reply.

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the
only one in this queue?"

The man replied, "I do not know sir! My wife told me
to stand here."