I am already 5 months pregnate but I live far away. I could not tell them before because they were all out of the country. They were on vacation. I am a 20 year old single woman. Having twins and putting one of them in open adoption(best for her). Please help!
2007-07-13 17:16:07 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Wow, it is truly heartbreaking that you would split the twins up. You should tell your family right away, maybe they can help you raise the twins. I know it is hard, but trust me there is all kinds of government assistance that will help you to provide for your children. Please try the best you can to keep your twins together, seek out the help you need to raise your children, there is help out there.
2007-07-13 17:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kirsten L 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You should tell them soon and get their support so that maybe you can possibly keep both of the babies. Twins who are separated always feel that something is "missing"in their life. Being a twin is such a gift - it would be shame for your child to miss out on that experience. Maybe you need to think about moving closer to home.
If you cannot do this - then you need to give BOTH children up for adoption. Don't be selfish. Your twins need to stay together -either with you or their new family.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-07-13 17:24:43 · answer #2 · answered by ggirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to need support, even if you give one up. It will actually be even more draining for you, I would imagine, because not only are you having a baby you also are giving one up. I hope for the twin's sake that you make it one of those adoptions where the child can never find their birth parent or know anything about them because I can't imagine them walking in one day. "Hi mom, I'm the daughter you gave up all those years ago. I finally found you!" "Uhhh.... This is your twin, the one we really wanted. Maybe it's time for you to leave, we really only ever wanted this one... Awkward..." You need to tell your family asap and get the support you need. Sorry for speaking my opinion and I'll probably get thumbs down but you will hear it a lot I'm guessing.
2007-07-13 17:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by rachel_ohanlon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Separating them just doesn't sound like a good idea, and I can't imagine you would do that once they are born. Telling them now would be best and I'm sure your family would be more than willing to help in any way they can once you have your children. Don't worry about being a young mom, if you stick to a career plan eventually the money will come around. Good Luck.
2007-07-13 17:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by grouch2111 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Your family must be wealthy to go on vacation for 5 months! Maybe they can help out with finances so you can keep your children together and with you.
Tell them now. Do not wait, unless you are giving up both of the children and do not want them to know.
The mental anguish the child you are not keeping will suffer will be devastating later in life- thinking something was wrong with her, she wasn't good enough or many other emotional scars she will carry. I agree with the other answers here that say either keep them both or give both up so they may be adopted together.
Best of luck to you in this difficult situation.
2007-07-13 17:32:49 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all girl I feel for you! I had a daughter at the age of 16, and my parents were divorced living out the country as well. I was on my own. After all these years I still sometimes think of that "what if". One of the what ifs was me giving her up for adoption. Adoption is not bad at all, but you really have to think long and hard.....you have to think of the FUTURE. Thinking of how hard it will be NOW of course you will consider adoption more. But think about it, raising a child period is hard. Especially twins , my friend had twins at 22. Unless your rich and can afford a 24/7 nanny it's going to be hard regardless, but the future rewards will be all worth it. Tell your family. They may be a lil mad at first but they have no choice but to get over it.
2007-07-13 17:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by JB 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well i think that maybe you should tell your parents right away . and then maybe when you do tell them maybe you wont have to give one of the twins up for adoption , maybe your family will help.. understand it is going to be hard but hey im 26 single parent, had my first kid at 15... been through so many disappointments but i still hung in there for my kids. just my thoughts and they may mean nothing... but dont seperate the kids... they will thank you later
2007-07-13 17:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by lasala 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ASP...why havent you told them over the phone or something. So you say putting one for adoption is for her best have you though of the child, whta it might feel about it when it grows up knowing it has a twin out thier. Well what kind of help do you want?Well if you parents wer on vacation i hope they have money to help you out..but be strong and hold on.
2007-07-13 17:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by nenamexicana 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell them as soon as you can. I don't think you should put one twin up for adoption and not the other.
2007-07-13 18:01:29 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call them and tell them. you have to communicate witht hem somehow.
being a single moms entitles you to special benefits or program help witht he kids. you can get money reductions for baby food and supplies. like WIC or other programs. research on it
i do not suggest you put them in adoption.
for one you will have a kid lost in the world knowing its yours and you wont be able to do anythign about it.
when they find out it will change their world for the babies.they need their parents.
if they r twins. why r u leaving one n keeping the other? out of favorites.moms dont do that. cherish ur babies they r precious. dont make it harder on urself or on them by seperating them from each other. if u realy do want adoption then put them together that way they might get adopted together and will have each other if they cant have their mom.
ur 20. its not like ur a teen. you can work and im sure you can get family or friend support. there is always a positive solution to it all. good luck
2007-07-13 17:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by je t'adoreTbyd03 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋