I am pregnate with twin girls. The thing is I just got a teaching degree. I make no money for the most part. So I can only keep one. I am going to have an open adoption so that the girls will know each other. I want to know from people if think I should tell the father. He has a girlfriend now who think he has never had sex. Which he is because he did something that make him one again. It was a religous ceremony . They are happy and I dont want to mess up there lives. Please tell me what you think. I need alot of advice. I am so lost and kinda scared in a way .
*Kel*
2007-07-13 17:00:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
before you do anything else GO & SEE a COUNSELLOR - at a family planning clinic / social welfare office to help you through this time. they may also be able to tell you what ( if any ) services / social security is available to you in your area.
As well as this they may help you find a way to keep both the babies. what about your family ?? could they be a help to you at all??
YES YES !!!!! do tell the father as he also has a responsibility to the children he has helped create.
In Australia it is a legal requirement for the mother to seek child maintenance from the father if she is claiming social security for the child.
Also it is the childs right to know something of thei biological father.
I dont understand your comment re:- his sexual activity & '" religious ceremony"" once you have engaged in sexual intercourse - that is it - you are no longer a virgin regardless of your gender. As for you messing up his life - sounds like he has done that on his own.( HEY he is apparently lying to his new g/f anyhow )
2007-07-13 17:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, a teacher should be able to spell "pregnant" correctly.
Second, I don't know how you can give a child up for adoption without the father giving consent, unless you lie and say you don't know who the father is. The children's father has a right, and the children have a right to know who their father is, and to have a relationship with him.
Third, there is no ceremony on earth that can make a man a "virgin" again, and if his new g/f bites that hooey, then her light doesn't turn all the way on; she knows the score!
Tell him. But be dang sure you are right!.
2007-07-13 17:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The father has a right to know that. I think that you should keep both of the girls because you might regret giving one up and keeping the other one. There are alot of agencies that will help you if you need help and the father to be can also help. I know that you don't want to get in the way of his new life but you have to let him know what your doing and how you feel.
2007-07-13 17:40:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him....he does have a right to know. I don't believe that you should give one child away....I think that would be very traumatic for that child as she gets older & asks "why wasn't I good enough to keep"? If you decide to go ahead with the adoption it is my opinion that both girls should be adopted by the same family. As far as your ex being a "virgin"....if he has had sexual intercourse he will never be a "virgin" again....I don't care what religious ceremony he took part in. HE IS NOT A VIRGIN!! I wish you the best!
2007-07-13 17:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by Tammy R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you will give up your kids for adoption, the agency in charge of the adoption process will need all the personal information about the twins including the name of the father. Some states require the written consent of both you and your ex-boy friend in order for the adoption to be valid. If this is the case, then you have no choice but to tell your ex-boy friend about his twin girls.
2007-07-13 17:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let him know, but not in front of his girlfriend or anything.... just you two in a public area.
As for the whole twin situation, I think you should keep both of them. I KNOW that it may seem like you can't do that right now, but God will help you provide for them both. I just don't want the whole "Mom likes me best! She gave YOU away!" thing going on. It sucks for the kid... trust me. Please do a lot of praying about the whole thing. God is the only person who can tell you what is right for everyone. Even if it means you have to get two jobs or something. Those girls are going to be worth keeping... BOTH of them. If you have more questions or want someone to be praying for you then e-mail me and I'll do just that.
God Bless and good luck!
2007-07-13 17:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by alli7201 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 First bless your heart I am worried about what you will be teaching because there are some concerns with grammar.
#2 Giving away one child and keeping the other will not end up favorable.
#3 Tell him and he can decide if he wants to tell his new girlfriend.
#4 Consult family friends and counselors being pregnant especially alone is a very scary ordeal. I know because I have been there
Good luck with everything
2007-07-13 17:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by q8336b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a right to know. And you have no right keeping it from him. Tell him on the side or something and ask him what he wants to do. If he doesn't want anything to do with them say ok and leave. That way it won't mess up their lives. And about keeping one child and giving up the other, I hope you're ready for hard days ahead cause they more than likely will grow up to resent you. I say give them both up or keep them both. Children are really sensitive and that could hurt both of them
2007-07-13 17:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That man needs to know about his kids. If you don't tell him now this can cause big problems later in life. I f you are going to put the babies in a good home both parents have to sign over parental rights. So either way yes you need to tell him maybe he'll help you. There is help out there for single parents. You just have to look for it.
Good luck.
2007-07-14 17:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by sweetdiamonds18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you have to tell him that he is about to become a father. It is unfortunate that he didn't have this religious experience before he got you pregnant. However, these children that are coming into this world deserve to know who their birth parents are and will probably search you and him out one day. Once these babies are born, you may even decide that you can not seperate them. The truth always comes out eventually. So why start out with lies that are going to come back and haunt both of you. Tell him the truth. Maybe he will even want to raise this child himself. Stranger things have happened.
2007-07-13 17:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋