My Poem, This is me trying not to be mean, Better?

Question

When I write my poem it's not to anyone specific.
Because in our own way, each person is terrific.
Which is why I'm so annoyed when some people say
things are so bad.
Most of the poems I read seem so very sad.
So please don't think I am simply trying to be an ***.
Whatever is bothering you. Remember this too shall pass.

Sorry, when I asked if it was better, I meant than the one that hurt a girls fellings because she thought it was directed at her.

Answer 1

Hell, your honost like the rhymes. The last line i especially liked. Youre right it is an improvement from the last. Keep Writting!

Answer 2

Not sure what the original poem was...nor when "this" poem began.

What I "do" know, however, is that the last part of the last line is NOT yours...it is a quote from a famous poem and a famous Hebrew saying, and if you're going to use it, it should be in "quotes" to indicate as much. If you use a line and don't indicate it isn't yours, it's called "plagerism". Be careful.

The line in question comes from the poem "This Too Shall Pass Away", by Ella Wheeler Wilcox and refers to the Ancient Hebrew saying "Gam zeh ya'avor" cited in a biblical parable which goes like this:

One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it." "If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?" "It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy." Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility. Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring. On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of the poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah. He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile. That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity. "Well, my friend," said Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?" All the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled. To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!" As soon as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band: _gimel, zayin, yud_, which began the words "_Gam zeh ya'avor_" -- "This too shall pass." At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust.

Answer 3

Better than what, I don't think there could be much worse. It looks like a Kevin Federline rap song.

Answer 4

Hmmm .... hope the stuff thats bothering me will pass... cant say Ive ever seen you round here before, but I will look out for your work :)