Hello I hope someone can answer my question. Recently I found out my dad cheated on my mom with his business partner. My whole family knows but the real issue is the business. His partner owns 50% of the business and we own the other 50%. Both me and mom have reasoned with him to just pull out and get our 50% of what the business is worth. The issue now is my dad doesn't want to bother and is going to give the whole business to her without any payment to us. He still lies to us saying he silences his phone so he doesn't want to be bothered but in reality he just doesn't want us to know that woman is calling. I personally believe my mom should divorce my dad which I fully support and sue for what is owed to us considering all the suffering my mom has been put through. I have always been respectful son but I am tired of the lies and him thinking everything will be "ok" and that we will get what we are owed but in reality just giving it all away. I need some advice on what to do?
2007-07-13 15:04:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I think he is going to divorce my dad after doing that but I feel he is not even the right state of mind. He says hes going to settle the matter but gives up. I have talked to him but he refuses to listen and throws the whole authority bs on me when clearly everyone sees the problem but not him.
2007-07-13 15:28:00 · update #1
Sorry I didn't preview my answer I don't think my dad is going to divorce my mom. But to tell you the truth I am sick of calling him dad.
2007-07-13 15:29:37 · update #2
Sounds like a sticky situation but it's more legal than anything else. Your dad is willing to hand over the entire business to this partner with whom he had an extra-marital affair. Are you sure the problem isn't that he knows she never wants to give up 50% of the business knowing it will be something shared by you and your mother?
She may feel like she is the scorned woman in this situation. Your dad is still with your mom. This woman keeps calling and even though your dad takes her calls (and may even still have some feelings for her), she knows he's not divorcing your mom for her.
For the present, they have a 50-50 business situation. If he tries to pull out, she may start kicking and screaming and making a lot of trouble. Maybe an answer to this would be to see a lawyer and investigate selling his share of the business. Then she would have a new partner and your dad would be out of it.
I can understand why you're angry with him, starting with the cheating.
Both your dad and mom seem to share the same view here, though: get through this bad situation with the least fireworks. If your mom divorces your dad even with your support, it's a sad and painful process. This is also compounded by knowing that this other woman would be happy to see that divorce happen and she would aggressively step in to take your mom's place. His being your dad wouldn't change and you'd eventually have to see him with this 'other woman' by his side in your mom's place.
Your mom would have to see that too. It probably wouldn't make her happy.
No, in this case, the best solution is cold, clinical, and very much a legal solution.
Your dad needs to understand this. He's not going to be persuaded by your mom and you - it will take a lawyer talking about the facts to get him to understand. If the partner owns 50% of the business and your dad owns 50% of the business, this must be expressed somewhere legally, as in a contract. Talk to a lawyer yourself, if necessary, to get a good idea of what can be done.
2007-07-20 09:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need counseling if you want this marriage to work. You have to get a 3rd party involved. She is way out of line, but it doesn't seem like she sees that. But also, I have to say the wife of your business partner is certainly not helping things and she needs to quit sending you stuff too. Be straightforward. You may have to even be separated for a while before she realizes how serious you are. It will hurt the kids, but if you don't take a serious step, you are living in denial and she will continue using you. Don't let her. Get your own place for a while, tell her it's so you can have space to figure things out, you're not filing for divorce but you have feelings that need to be sorted out too. And tell her she has to make a choice. She either cuts off ties with this man or your marriage is over. Period.
2016-05-17 07:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by cara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a more mature and reasonable outlook on the situation than your dad does. But it's really only up to your mom and dad to decide if divorce is the answer or not. I feel for you, cuz it's hard on kids because they love both parents, even though they know the mistakes of one are hurting the other one. Maybe you need to spill your guts to your dad and mom and see what kind of answers you get from them. Sometimes parents underestimate their child's wisdom. Good luck to you and your family.
2007-07-13 15:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who legally owns the 50%? If the business partner and your father are the people with the 50%s in their names, I don't know that there is anything you can do. It may be something your mother can figure out in a divorce settlement, but thats something that is up to her to do. You can let her know you are there for support, but unless you have a share of the company, it's out of your hands.
Contact a lawyer if you want the whole legal aspect of it. They can explain what your rights are in your specific situation.
2007-07-13 15:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be carefull here with regards to the business side of things as there may be a clause that could tie the 50% investment up in the business. It is not unusual for affairs of this kind to occur, they are working side by side, power of business adrenalin rushes translate to Sexual encounters.
Home was where he came to leave the business world outside. I am not condoning what occurred simply offering a scenario of how these affairs can occur.
You will need legal advice with regards to the business operations, profit etc. Viability of the other partner being able to 'buy out' the other partner. There is a whole list of investigations needed when selling a partnership.
Children should not take on the role of parent when their parents marriage is in difficulty. To be perfectly honest with you as they often children look at what they will get out of the breakup "financially ". It is admirable you are there for your mother however, she just needs you to be her sounding board not her advisor.
This is for counsellors and legal professionals to work through with your parents.
You need to seek out your counsellor and legal advisor for your needs.
Best wishes.
2007-07-13 15:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother needs to find herself a good divorce attorney and get what is rightfully hers. I wouldn't put up with anymore of the bs that your father is feeding. Certainly the other woman is calling if he has the phone on silence and isn't answering it. This is one sure sign that someone calling isn't supposed to be and noone is supposed to know it.
2007-07-18 05:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he wants to give it to the other women so he can then divorce your Mom and she will get nothing. If she starts divorce proceeding she can stop him from relinquishing anything so that it can be split in divorce.
2007-07-13 15:13:24 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother, should divorce him.He WILL have to give your mom 50% of his half of the money.
2007-07-20 10:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by Klingon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but your dad is a jerk. I think your mom shoudl divorce him before he sells it, and divorces her, and she gets Nothing. Good luck !
2007-07-13 15:28:12 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. 26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is way more going on than either of you know about...why would he give away his lively hood?
2007-07-17 00:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋