I dont enjoy anything anymore. He is all I think about and it is so unfair. I can not believe how much it hurts. I would forgive him and bring him home in a second but he acts so angry at me which I dont understand since he is the one whom broke the wedding vows.
2007-07-13 14:01:17 · 15 answers · asked by Broken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends on each individuals healing process, & how and what you'r doing to deal with the pain?
As the saying goes "time does heal all wounds".
Though u must NOT blame yourself and I know it hurts, my heart goes out to you.
Do know that the pain will go away!
When...only within time...
I find by trying to keep busy with you'r own life and looking out for yourself will help the healing too.
Also, keep in mind that he's feeling guilty & trying to get out of the responsibility of his own actions, so he turns it out on you.
This way if theres anger theres fighting and an easier way out (selfish way!)
Do not blame yourself!
He is at fault!
YOU deserve better and u shall see this in time.
Take care off you, for u should come first always.
Good luck
2007-07-13 14:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by pepe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had 17 years of a relationship over my head, but it's been 1 year ago since i caught my love one cheating on me. Today after so many days thinking that I was over that whole scene, it's like the icecube melted and the pain hurts more then it did a year ago. And it's more hard to try and leave then it would have been then. I dont know if it ever goes away, may beable to forgive someone, but the trust is gone and it will haunt. Some people say therapy. I say that you need to listen to your inner voice. It's so hard to get up and leave everything you had built, but if his love was strong enough he wouldnt have done it. Plus if you take time for yourself, time to heal, who knows, mabye in time he will prove his love by waiting. Not an easy thing to do but dont live in deep depression and wear a fake mask of happiness. If you stay, make sure that you can let go of his mistake and trust him again. good luck.
2007-07-13 15:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by golden1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, only you can control this, and it is within your power to stop the pain. You are creating it, you can stop it. Your world has NOT ended, life still goes on, and basically, you have lived through it. It is up to you if you choose to play dead, to live in jealousy, to bear constant pain over something that cannot be undone, that was outside your control. You have one of two choices, no betweens here.
1) leave and divorce him...
2) forgive and truly forget. Face it, he will not stand for being punished the rest of his life. If you do not stop this NOW, he is the one who will leave you. IS that what you really want? If it is not, then each and everytime you start thinking abou this, say to yourself, NO...I will not go there again. ! It can be done, has been done throughout time.
You are the only one who can decide: Are you better off with him or without him. IF you find you still love him and want him, then stop with this foolishness, for that is exactly what it is. Please do not listen to those who say the only thing you can do is divorce him..that is not true. They are NOT you, do not have to bear the consequences of the decision. Know that you are not the only person who has gone through this, and in fact, many more have than haven't . Either get over it or quit it.
Good luck and find some peace. You can do that.
2007-07-13 14:07:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
19 years old, is he the same age, well he is immature and really wasn't ready for a real relationship. Quit being so hard on yourself, you didn't do anything. Don't take blame for his cheating. Just let him go he isn't worth the pain anymore. Dry up your tears and think positive. If someday he comes back maybe you will accept him back and then again maybe you won't. You might be able to forgive him someday, but you will never forget the pain he has caused you. I know your pain and it is not a good feeling. You feel like someone pulled your heart out.
Good luck just know you didn't have anything to do with him going out and cheating on you, he will always cheat you will never be able to trust him and he shouldn't be trusted.
2007-07-13 14:10:54 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Angel.. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hurt can only heal when you get away from the pain. He is your cause of pain. He broke the vows, he doesn't deserve to come home. Forgiving is good for you, but you need to be finished with him. He doesn't respect you or deserve you. Start writing a new chapter in your life.....without him. May you be blessed with all good things.
2007-07-13 14:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by lady_golf_sc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me also. He was very angry and difficult to get along with. I wanted to talk and get counseling. He refused. The nicer I treated him, the worse he treated me. I compromised all of my principles and morals to continue to stay with him. However, one day I came home to an empty house and four years later I have yet to hear from him. I would like to tell you to move on, but I am sure that you have grown weary of all of the "good advice" that is being constantly thrown at you. I understand how you feel and the only thing that I can tell you from what I experienced is that "love takes time to heal." Lots of time. Be patient. There are a lot of things that you will never understand, but continue to be patient.
2007-07-13 14:43:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is rarely solid to stay in a marriage merely for the sake of the little ones. Sorry even though it rather never works out in the long-term any techniques, you merely finally end up stretching out time on something that ought to of ended some time past. She has cheated and so have you ever. the honour and have faith on your marriage is long gone. while it is long gone, there is not any marriage any further. pass on. My answer could no longer be what you may desire to hearken to, even though it comes from the heart of a woman that has been married for over 25yrs. admire and have faith is what has saved us at the same time. sounds like the the two one in each and every of you have neither. solid success.
2016-10-01 13:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by gammons 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! I feel for you. I had this happen to me, grant it I wasn't married for 19 years. The problem is he's angry because he got caught. He was happy because he was getting away with it, and now the secret is out, game over. It isn't as exciting for him anymore with his mistress. I would never trust him again. As I have been told recently, once a cheater always a cheater. Good luck to you hun!
2007-07-13 14:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by Spanglish Teacher 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't really know what to tell you. I caught my first wife cheating and she wanted to leave me for good. At first I thought that was a horrible idea, but at least I didn't have to deal with what you are dealing with. I am remarried to a beautiful lady with a baby on the way. --- I just hate it for my daughter from the 1st marriage. Her mom just threw me under the bus. Good luck!
2007-07-13 14:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by i know it all! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't cheat for no reason. He obviously has issues with you and either A.) never bothered to tell you or B.) told you and you didn't respond. Eitherway, he's mad because he feels he wasted 19 years with you.
2007-07-13 14:26:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋