Do you allow others a chance to change?

Answer 1

hello
yes and always...and why not...others too expect the same from me....and even if i have to do this only to reassure myself that i am flexible enough to change if necessary because i for one strongly believe in " change what you can accept what you can't "

how many times do we ask ourselves ' only if i would have....? or only if he could have...?'.....well....that's the time probably one needs to pause and give a few moments to our faculties and ask ' what could i have done to avoid this situation?'

the answer lies there, that by simply giving others a chance there is always a possibility of creating a meeting point, a scope for a WIN-WIN situation and make oneself genuinely acceptable which otherwise would leave one with deep sense of regret, frustration and illusions...depriving one of achievements that could have been accomplished and sometimes ruining the joy of achievements already made.

Answer 2

Hi Rena,
I love these questions because they always make me think. I read the question, think I have the answer then think about it more and don't feel so sure!
First of all I would have to change the 'allow' to 'give' as this sounds less authoritarian. I don't feel anyone has a right to control others in such a way that it inhibits their natural qualities and individuality. Change is a part of life and every experience gives us a chance to develop and grow. Some might cause set-backs but out of difficulties and challenges, there’s a chance for a stronger character to develop. This is all so personal. I have watched my children change. My husband is not the same person he was thirty years ago when we met. I have changed so much too. We all should have the space and freedom to change, adjust, develop and grow. I think my answer has to be no I don't 'allow' others a chance to change, because it is not my right to do so.
Instead I respect their right to make their 'own' choices and I will advise and I will guide and if necessary I will let them learn by their own mistakes. I will always be there too, to pick them up, if ever they fall. Everyone should be given a chance to develop and to be encouraged to change if that's what they want to do. (In a positive way of course).
Polly

Answer 3

Always allowing others a chance to change is something that we all should do. For in doing so we give of ourselves the ability to accept and change also. The world and those in this world are in consent change. It stands clear then that we can not only allow those to change, but we too need to constantly look within and re adjust ourselves as much as is needed.

Answer 4

I find this an intelligently veiled question.

I really do not see who I am to give anyone a chance or not to change. Wouldn't that be like taking someone for granted or looking down upon someone.... or else what would give us a right even to think that someone ought to change?..... and if I wish such a change purely in my own interests, then I must realize that I would only be giving a chance to myself and not to that person!!

Having said that, let me however confess that there have been umpteen occasions when I have fooled myself believing that I was giving a long rope to someone.

Thanks Rena, for a great question which made me enjoy thinking through before answering.

Answer 5

Hi Rena,
Absolutely,I give others the opportunity to grow and change and allow them the freedom to make that choice.

You can allow others to change a behavior and if that behavior is causing them or the relationship harm,they may just need to take a look at the behavior,however I think no good has ever come from pointing fingers,or blaming another for their behavior,we all have a great deal of room for improvement,it's just good to remember that you can't make someone change or give ultimatums if the changes do not occur,at that point it is no longer their problem but it has become yours.

Answer 6

Yes. Up to a point. Some things are deal-breakers. Some things I could not forgive & wouldn't even give someone another chance. In other cases I would give them a second chance if they seemed committed to changing but I couldn't keep giving them chances if it became clear that they would never change (for instance I once dated an alcoholic & I had to finally let him go when it became apparent that he could not/would not change & I could not help him & he would only drag me down with him time and again...)

Answer 7

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
— Jacob M. Braude

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
— Natalie Wood (1938-1981)

Why does a woman work for years to change a man's habits, and then complain that he's not the man she married?
— Barbra Streisand

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.
— Franklin P. Adams

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can
And Wisdom to know the difference…
— The Serenity prayer

Answer 8

Well I just I think of it like this; would I want a chance to change if I were in that person's shows? Would I deserve it? And if I get YES back...then I will. I definately will.
But when must walk two moons in the others shows to know if they deserves that chance or not. And you know what? Hey....everyone DOES....you just need that perspective.

Answer 9

Give what you need to receive. If the person made a mistake there is a chance it was done without intent. It may be a pattern imprinted in childhood. If they recognize the need to change and want the chance you are obligated to give that opportunity just as you would want for your self.

ONCE!

Answer 10

I hope I do and not just dispose of someone because of certain things. I think everyone deserves a chance to change for the better, no matter the circumstance, and I like to think that I give them that chance.