Is my daughter Spoiled because i hold her?

Question

My daughter is 3 months old and people tell me she is spoiled because i hold her "all the time" but i dont think so... she does cry when you is wanting to go to sleep and only stops when i hold her... if she is spoiled how do i break her... do i really let her cry it out.. if so how long do you let them cry?

Answer 1

NO you are not spoiling your child!!! she needs that security from you...so ignore them all...now there is such a thing as holding her too much in the fact that she can get sore from too much hold....let her have her independence if she needs it....

Answer 2

First off at three months old how else can she tell you what she wants but to cry? Babies need a lot of cuddling. I also believe that at this age there is no such thing as a spoiled baby. They like to see their parents' faces, hear their voices, and listen to their heartbeats, and can even detect their unique smell (especially Mom's milk). After being fed, burped, and changed, many babies simply want to be held.For the first few months of life that isn't possible to spoil your baby with too much love. Infants vary a lot in how much they want to be held. Some demand a lot of attention, while others can spend long periods of time sitting calmly by themselves. If your baby likes the attention, pick her up, wear her in a front carrier or sling, or place her next to you.
She may just be checking to be sure you will be there for her. When she gets a little older try sitting on the floor with her and distracting her with a toy or a game like peek a boo. Another idea is put her in a swing or highchair with some toys. Or put her in a chair and sit her beside you as you do your work and stuff then she is learning that ok mom is still here for me. This way the crying is not being addressed with being picked up every time, but you are letting her know you are available.I am a firm believer that when you show your child love and affection it will help your child become a very loving and understanding person one day, And not afraid of showing affection.It also will help your daughter with anxiety and fears when she gets older. Once your daughter becomes comfortable with you being within site but not holding her, you will have shown her you are there for her even when you are not so close. Another idea is to get a hold of the book called "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg. The lady is great...She offers great tips that you can take from her.This book would be a great way to learn to really understand your sweet baby girl. Another thing too is don't listen to anyone and their comments. No one knows what is best for your baby except for you.

Answer 3

People used to say that my son was spoiled because he would hardly ever be able to cry because I was right their.

After a while though it gets tiring and you stop doing it so much.

I read in a magazine that babies don't know the difference until 4 to 5 months. So baby her all you want.

Try at night if she does or doesn't sleep through the night yet. If she does if she makes a fuss let her. Let it go on for about 2 minutes and than check on her. Tell her it is okay and that you love her. If you have a mobiles use that they are magic.

Answer 4

That whole "spoiled because you hold her" thing is a common misconception which has been proven untrue by many psychologists and sociologists. Young babies need a lot of contact and attention, when she's ready for alone time she will let you know. My son spent a lot of his first few months in my arms or quite near me and now he is a healthy well adjusted one year old, many people even comment on how friendly he is. He doesn't shy away from strangers or fuss when I leave him with someone. Eventually as she gets a little older you may have to let her cry herself to sleep, but do it slowly. Start by letting her cry 10 minutes and then increase that by 5-10 minutes every night. She will catch on. But at 3 months it's not necessary yet. Good luck!

Answer 5

Please dont' let your baby cry it out! You are right, your baby is NOT spoiled, she is a BABY!! Hold her all the time! I will send you a link, just go read about it. If you do what is in your heart, you can't go wrong.
By letting your baby cry-it-out, you are teaching her that she can't trust you to meet her needs. 3 month olds have no idea where you have gone, or whether or not your coming back, or that you are trying to "train" her... she only knows that she needs you and you're not there, and that makes her sad, lonely, and stressed. Not good.
Here is the link. keep following your instincts!

Answer 6

Studies show that babies who do not get held often when they cry will more likely have anxiety/fear kind of mental disorder as they become older. Hold your child. Even though she is only 3 months old, she'll know she is being loved and cared for. Perhaps not if she is 20! But come on, she's still a baby!!

Answer 7

No way is she spoiled. One of the worst things a new mother needs to hear is unsolicited advice. Do not let her cry it out, she needs your comfort or else she wouldn't be content when you pick her up. With time she will be more content playing with toys and such. Holding her and showing her love is not spoiling her.

Answer 8

I don't really know but I know that my son cries the second I put him down and stops the moment I pick him up. He's only 6 weeks old and I would say that he's probably spoiled but it's ok. He's my baby and I will continue to pick him up when he cries. Either way I'm the one who cares for him so just tell everyone else to mind thier own business since you're the one that takes care of him and no one else!

Answer 9

I've always read and heard that it is not possible to "spoil" a baby by holding them in the first 5 months.

Answer 10

Don't listen to those peers/family members who are criticizing this. At three months old, it's only natural for a baby to want to be held when she is not sleeping. You are giving her love, safety and affection which is what they need. I would say at around six to eight months should you start letting her cry at night... she needs to learn how to sleep through the night.

Answer 11

This is one of those things that you have to decide. As for me, I picked up my son when he cried and held him a lot in general. If he cried at night, I'd wait about 1 or 2 minutes and if he didn't fall back to sleep, I'd rock him back to sleep. And of course you can tell the difference between an "I'm hurt or hungry" cry and a "normal" cry.