My husband and I have a joint checking account that we keep for household expenses (bills, groceries etc) and then we each have our own checking accounts that the other doesn't have access to. I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and we got on the subject of money and marriage. She's a SATM and her husband is the breadwinner for the family but she works part time taking in other kids for daycare etc. When I mentioned the arrangement that my husband and I had she was totally shocked an appalled that we kept what finances we didn't need for bills separate from each other and she thought that it was being really distrustful of us to do it that way.
So my question is, should all your money go into a joint checking account and should your spouse have full access to your 'spending money' ??
2007-07-13 10:36:48 · 27 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO NO NO NO NO! You and your husband are being very smart getting your own accounts. It has nothing to do with distrust, because I'm sure you both spend your money on each other. It's best to keep bill money separate that way you will never have the urge to over spend. I have a separate account from my husband, and so does he. It couldn't be a better arraingment. Keep doing what your doing, you are both being very smart, and very responsible.
2007-07-13 10:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Different ways work for different people. There is no right or wrong way, it's the right way when it works for you and your spouse.
And think about it this way./.. your friend probably doesn't make that much so she's probably thinking if they did that she wouldn't have any money ever.
It's not distrustful I don't think.
My husband and I have one checking account, and s/times it's a pain b/c you have 2 people working out of one account and only one person keeping up with it, but I am in school and work VERY parttime and would ahve to ask him for money all the time if we had seperate and that would drive us both crazy.
So, again, just do what works for you and don't worry what other people say!!
2007-07-13 17:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To each his own. It sounds like you are doing what works well for you. In our situation, we have a joint account, but my husband has some money that he saves from doing odd jobs that we consider his play money. He is big time into some expensive hobbies and uses that money to fund them instead of dipping into our joint account. Myself, I am a very conservative saver and would never have an expensive hobby for that reason. Our method saves us from fighting over something that would other wise become a huge source of friction. Your friend isn't very open minded.
2007-07-13 18:24:23 · answer #3 · answered by I39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end it won't matter if you're in a community property state. They'll make you split it whether the other has access to it or not if it was money earned during the marriage and not before.
Personally, I think it shows a lack of trust, yes.
But if both parties want it that way, who cares how it looks?
2007-07-13 17:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separate accounts are very wise. And should either of you, God forbid, die, you have protection -- often joint accounts are frozen, with the separate accounts you still have money to pay bills, etc.
Plus, if you trust each other, having separate accounts is an example of trust. If you have SEE what all goes on, you don't trust each other!
2007-07-13 17:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by leysarob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you shouldn't keep it all together. I personally would think that the other is hiding something if they were not allowing me to see what they were spending money on. Besides, if you have "spending" money what are you using it for? Obviously it isn't that big of a secret if you live in the same house unless you are going out alone. I personally don't understand it but everyone does somethings differently.
2007-07-13 17:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by carmadsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever works for your marriage. My wife and I have one checking/savings account. It just works out better for us. She is good with bills and I'm not so she gets to control that. I'm OK with it. In fact I would rather she did it. I still know what we have in the bank and if there is something I want/need we talk about it and decide if it's OK. ( I'm not talking lunch money or small purchases at the corner store).
2007-07-13 17:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're doing it the best way. Not to mention what if you or your husband gets in a tough spot ur not totally screwed, one of you will have money to share with the other...I think its a great idea to do it the way you are doing it. The situation for ur friend is good for her because she doesnt have as much opportunity to make extra money because she also has to take care of the kids.
2007-07-13 17:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by ladyfang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, my boyfriend and I talked about whether we wanted to get a joint account after we got engaged. I suggested your arrangement (which I think is fine) and that seems to be the best for us. It's not distrustful, its just the arrangement that works best for you.
2007-07-13 17:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by littleone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people are crazy! seriously. after the bills are paid there is NOTHING wrong with keeping your money seperate.
i dont want the headache of keeping up with what both of us spend, and no getting mad over them spending money you wanted to spend. yada yada. so many marriages end over finances that i am SURPRISED people still think that joining it all is a good idea. i think those people arent trusting of their spouses and want to know where every penny goes.
2007-07-13 18:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋