What does being taken for granted mean to YOU (read on, please) :) ?

Question

It can mean you can be trusted and relied on, or that you're not fully appreciated, or valued.

How is this, for you? How do you feel? Do you believe that your family and friends take you for granted? In which sense?

Thank you for your answer! :) Have a wonderful weekend! :)

LOL

I know what it means to me (the not being valued part). I'm asking what it means to you, because I was reading some answers to another question about this, and realized that some people actually like what hurts me, because they have a different perception of the meaning of this. :)

Answer 1

You definitely pinpointed a problem expression... to me, being taken for granted means that people just expect that I will do something and they are not concerned at all about whether it's convenient for me or what the impact will be for me. To me, being taken for granted implies that what you do is not appreciated. Or if it is, perhaps the appreciation is just not expressed.

Although those same words - taken for granted - could mean you can be trusted and relied on, I would usually use the expression "someone I can count on." This has a whole different meaning to me. It means someone who will be there for me through thick and through thin, a dependable person who won't let me down, who will help me in any way they are able. I TRULY appreciate those people!! I make sure they know it, too, as best I can.

And I try to be one of those people who can be counted on... I hate letting anyone down!! However, it could be that this leads to my being taken for granted at times.

Answer 2

I believe I mentioned in your last question, I have worked very hard to give the people important to me the ability to take me for granted. I will be there. Period. Not if, or when, but BE THERE. THis requires steady dependable preformance on my part, until it is an automatic expectation. I try extemely hard never to make these people question this. For the most part- (children are one exception,)- the arrangement/expectaton is reciprocal. On occasion, someone takes me for granted in a negative way. Usually this has been an employer; or new romantic involvement. It is one thing to be taken for granted, It is another to have this constant be devalued. No one likes that. I am no exception. It is usually no problem to disabuse them of the notion that it's a right of theirs. It isn't, it's a privelege. Priviledges can be revoked.The fastest way I've found to discover which each is is to ask myself...are they "there" for me? Every time? NO? Wrong answer. }:> **hey, Kelly! Right on! You've got it! ( I was beginning to think it was just me..}:>)

Answer 3

Hi Moon,
There are some beautiful answers here from some beautiful people. Now that I’ve thought about it, I think that there are a number of forms of being taken for granted.

Being taken for granted for many people (including myself) is almost like a compliment because it confirms the trust and confidence my friends and loved-ones have in me. This is being taken for granted in a nice way and I wouldn’t have it otherwise. Also it is reciprocal in that I know I have people there when I need them.

But I think there is another ‘being taken for granted’ and that might be when someone’s love and support is accepted and expected but this person gets little in return by way of companionship, affection or thanks. The more someone gives, the more a less-sensitive person might take and the more they ignore the benevolent partner/friend/lover. I think this is being taken for granted in a negative way and it is bound to have a destructive affect on the giving person’s self-esteem.

So really it depends on the situation, the people, the circumstances but in my life I know I’m often taken for granted and that’s because I’ve always been there for those I love and it makes them secure in my love and I get plenty love back in return so I’m happy.

Polly

Answer 4

Being taken for granted for me means not been valued. I am really lucky, my family and closest friends appreciate what I do for them, as I in turn really value what they do for me and what great stuff they bring into my life.

Friends I am not so close to often ask favours. If this becomes an expectation and frequent, then I try to be open with them and set limits to what I will and won't do for them. After this if they push these limits too far a couple of times, I distance myself for a bit and usually they get the message.

Answer 5

To me, 'being taken for granted' is a form of selfishness and is on the other end of a broad spectrum with trust at the opposite end.

Its selfish and disrespectful because it lacks empathy for what you are going through, it lacks a willingness to see things from the other's point of view.

To me being trusted or relied upon means that the other person has thought about you and likes what they see and believes that you will act in harmony with their own point of view.

Answer 6

Tis depends on the situation. If I am secure in a relationship, being taken for granted means that I am trusted and depended upon. It actually makes me feel good that I can be that anchor in another person's life. If I am not secure in a relationship, or if I am in a professional relationship and someone is using me to keep from doing their own job, I feel betrayed and bitter. I also feel like I may be enabling someone, not allowing them to reach their full potential by allowing them to lean on me.

Bottom line, if the feeling is reciprocal, it is life affirming. If the feeling is that it is closed off or one way, it is draining, just like a river, just like a stream, just like water, just like life!

Answer 7

I think being taken for granted means being used for what you can give someone without them appreciating it.

I will give or do anything for those I love, and I know they do not take me for granted.

You have a wonderful weekend too!

Answer 8

It means that you are not fully appreciated.
For example: if you are in a study group and one person does all the work...then they are being taken for granted!

Answer 9

Well, since you asked such an HONEST question, I'll give you an HONEST answer... taken for granted means when the hard work that consistently put in is no longer recognized an appreciated. It's when you are SO good at what you do and have done it so long that nobody even recognizes when it is done, only when it is not.
I feel it a lot, at home, in church, work, etc.

Answer 10

For me it means those I love (family and friends and any kids at all) can trust and rely on me. Including my inclination to do the unexpected and impulsive. But never to let them down. I treasure that and wouldn't want it any other way.