My husband and I just decided on a divorce a few weeks ago … He just moved out last weekend. No papers have been signed or filed yet. He is already on the prowl. It was my decision to end our marriage, but I am still bitter that it has taken him so little time to move on …. We have two children together, and while I have them 24/7 he is out picking up on little 22 year olds …. He took all of the furniture and got an apartment already …. So while he’s living all good … his family (or what once was) is living in an empty house. I just think it is sooo selfish on his part … I know I made a good decision, but should I not be bitter or do I have a right to be?
2007-07-13 09:48:17 · 26 answers · asked by luvlily00 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm recently separated after a hellish marriage and my advice to you is not to date because you think your Ex is doing it. Concentrate on making yourself and your children comfortable.
Get a lawyer and start working on custody, child support, and division of assets. You should be able to get temporary child support pushed through the court until you get a final settlement in place.
It's better not to get involved with anyone else until you've resolved your present situation. Go to individual therapy and sort your head out. You're probably as mad as a hornet but don't jump into a new relationship now.
Your Ex is on some kind of a sugar rush but is probably not scoring as much as you imagine. Women have a radar for gigolos like your Ex and only the lowest of the low fall for that kind of man.
Keep your values higher. Take care or yourself and your children and you will feel much better in the end. Once you've gotten your balance back you can start thinking about dating again.
That's the plan I'm taking and I'm in a similar boat as you are. I kind-of like taking the high ground. I'm a single dad and I'm ok with it. My child loves me and that's all I need right now.
Good luck.
2007-07-13 10:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be bitter! What a selfish pig to leave his children without furniture! I don't know reasons for the split but since it was your decision he might be trying to get you jealous because he's hurt BUT that's no excuse to leave your children in an empty house. Why on earth would you let him take the furniture. He is the "free bird" bachelor with the apartment; he could go buy some second hand stuff or new furniture.
Wait until he starts spending $ on the 22 year old which is what older men do to get these younger girls. Make sure you get your child support in writing signed by the court no matter what he says because if you make some "verbal" agreement you won't see the money honey and you will be calling, emailing and waiting while bills needs to be paid.
2007-07-13 10:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not be bitter because you're the one who decided to end the marriage. Since you know you made a good decision, you should now be focusing on your own life and not his. So he goes out with 22 year olds. Who cares?
2007-07-13 10:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to make himself feel better. You ended the marriage and I'm betting he feels he had no choice on it. He is still hurting and will be for a long time yet.
Do you have a right to feel the way you do? Your feelings just are. You are hurt and that isn't going to change based on what any of us say.
I think what's most important to say to you is go talk to a person counselor. Divorce sucks and they can really help you get through it. Also I suggest the book 'Rebuilding, When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce Fisher.
2007-07-13 10:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it was YOUR decision, then why would you be bitter? You cut him loose. He has a right to go out there and find a new woman to marry as soon as your divorce is final. I hope he realizes the example he's setting for his children, though. He isn't acting too maturely, but his ego is hurt. You dumped him. You would have been better off going to marriage counseling and trying to save your marriage. I think you made the big mistake. You have to live with it now. You have no right to be bitter.
2007-07-13 09:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am going through a divorce right now also, and it was ended by my wife...The only thing on my mind right now are the health and well-being of our two young children not a 22 yr old...Although it sounds tempting, I put my kids and my soon to be x first still and provide for them...I think he is making some wrong decisions right now. Get a good lawyer and try to catch him because yall are still legally married. Good Luck!
2007-07-13 09:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that the marriage was short, but were you together only a year or two total, or were you together 15 years before marriage. It makes a huge difference. If you were together for a very long time then I would wait till the finalization. If you were only together a year or something, then go right a head but make sure that your new guy/gal understands the situation. The divorce shouldn't take long as long as you both are wanting it.
2016-05-17 05:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EVERYTHING that you just described happened to me 3yrs. ago. I know exactly how you feel. Over time things will get better,but meanwhile you need to stay strong for the children. Just because he seems to be living the "good life" doesn't mean that he is not hurting. If you are sure the marriage is over,go ahead and file separation papers,get your custody papers in order and don't forget to file for child support. Hang in there.
2007-07-13 10:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by Slim&Sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about what he is doing, you have the right to be bitter, because he is so careless towards leaving his kids, and have no worriers now. but you wont the divorce so if he is dating i dont think it should be any of your business. Apply for a divorce and get child support from him. and move on with yoiur life and take care of the most imporant thing your kids they will thank you when they are grown.
2007-07-13 09:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked for the divorce. I am afraid you have to get over the bitterness and be happy that you got what you wanted. Or did you think he would fight for you? If you did, I can see how that would hurt. It does seem selfish, but you seem to have put yourself in the situation. I am sorry for your hurt.
Good Luck, I hope you can find happiness.
2007-07-13 10:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Bite me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋