Is Sex really that enjoyable and relaxing?

Question

I just got married a year ago and I am 24. What can I do to make it more enjoyable for me? How much do you do it? What are some tricks for it. I want it to be wondeful like everyone says it is.

Answer 1

First of all, your question sounds like you watched some romantic movies and thought that sex is like sex in the movies.

No, sex is a time of sweating, embarrassing noises, and awkward positioning, but it feels good if you hit the right spots and it's a lot of FUN. Not wonderful amazement, FUN!!! During intercourse, your man's penis should be going for your g-spot, which is about 3 inches in on your front vaginal wall. Try to find a position that hits it, like missionary with your legs pulled back towards your head. Also, stimulate your clitoris. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. Try rubbing it with your fingers, have him lick your clitoris, or buy a vibrator to use during sex and by yourself. Use lubricant also, it helps everything glide much better.

Answer 2

Everyone is different. Hormones play a role into it. I am pretty experienced at sex and it's not "the most important thing in the world", so don't feel weird that you don't crave it 24/7. However, to have a good marriage, it's pretty important, so here is some advice:

Do you know anything about your own body? Have you ever had an orgasm? Most women need clitoral (look it up if you don't know) stimulation. For me, I need to be "on top" to get that. I need to be in control of movement and usually I have to depend on myself for an orgasm. A ot of times, I have fantasies in my own head during sex, that helps. I imagine I'm seducing a teacher, or a married man, or a stranger. Naughty, I know, that's why they're called fantasies. :)

After four years of marriage, I recently purchased my first vibrator (my husband didn't want me to get one before) and now we wished we'd gotten one sooner!!! I use it when he's not around, too....that's a helpful way of getting to know your body.

The important thing is to know what you want, and then communicate. Find out what your spouse likes. Do you like oral sex? Giving a good BJ is key, in my opinion. That opens the door up for great sex any day! I have even looked up on Google on "how to give a good BJ", there are a bunch of different techniques you can try. My hubby isn't really into porn, but if you don't mind it, you can always watch one to get some good ideas for "tricks".

Be spontaneous. Do it some place other than the bed. Do it in the morning. Play!! Sex is only "fun" if you make it that way!! It's okay to laugh, tickle, wrestle.....it doesn't always have to be serious, that can make it seem like a chore. Get your spouse involved in different things.....I like to lay on my side and have my husband behind me and get stimulation from his hand....he really likes that, too. Also, I like to tell my husband not to touch me and "Play hard to get".

Try small things first, and then when you get more comfortable, maybe you can try the roll playing stuff, or just keep the fantasies in your head like I do, if your husband isn't willing to play along.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Are you tense going into it? If so, that will make it unpleasant and painful. So relax!
Next, you might find some fun and sexy lingerie to wear. Something that helps you feel sexy and uninhibited.
Victoria's Secret has some really nice things. Also there is a book that my hubby and I got and it made for some really fun and intimate evenings (and afternoons!) It's called "101 Nights of Grrreat Sex" by Laura Corn. In it are 101 games for you and your partner to play. They come on pages that you can tear out and you each take a page and don't show it to the other. Each page is sealed so it's a surprise for you too when you read it! You surprise your partner with whatever the page instructs you to do. There are some really great little surprises that are sure to please the both of you. There is nothing nasty or distasteful. It's all quite lovely and meant for loving. You can find it on Amazon.com. I highly recommend it for you or anyone reading this if your sex life is stale.
I really hope this helps and that you find the tender loving time with your hubby you seem to be needing.

Answer 4

There are some really great videos out there that are designed for women to get to know their bodies (vs the ones for guys to pleasure themselves to)

Also, marital aids like small vibrators can be fun & VERY effective with getting you to orgasm.

Most women can't get to their O through intercourse, and require direct clitoral stimulation, either by your husband's finger, tongue or a vibrator.

I like the little vibrators because you can use them with your partner & they get the sensation as well.... making it a very fun experience for both involved.

Also, there are classes & books on sensual massage which can be very pleasurable for both the receiver & the giver.

Speak with your husband about the things you'd like to try, and when he does something you don't really enjoy, let him know in a nice way by encouraging what you do enjoy.

Try to have some fun exploring your own pleasure by yourself, masturbation is a very effective path to enjoying sex with your partner.
*******

Don't listen to Alowishus B... they have an archaic patriarchal perception of female sexuality & don't understand that women can & deserve to enjoy sex as much or even more than their male partner. It just takes time, communication & experimentation.
Women usually crave variety & change in their sex-life more often then men, so just keep that in mind.

Answer 5

It sounds like the experience is just not doing it for you. There is not a rule that you must do it everyday or once a year at the full moon. It is a mutual act. I suggest you get a picture book on sex. Borders Books always seems to have them in the reduced book area. If you are too shy for that - order it on line from someplace like goodvibrations.com - which also has a question forum and erotic writings (which may also help slip your switch on).

Answer 6

I would definatly recommend the KY products. there is also a Vibrating ring out from Trojan. One of my friends had used it with thier boyfriend and they liked it. But as time goes on you will experiment with different things and find what you like best.
Hope this helps. The vibrating ring is found at Walmart or at least in my area where the condoms are.

Answer 7

suggest you include your spouse in making it enjoyable, not just making it more enjoyable for you. If you are so wrapped up in your own pleasure, that is likely why it isn't so great, you can do a better job masturbating if sensation is all you are interested in.
You are not connecting with your hubby, and you are either expecting him to do all the work to bring you to orgasm, or you simply aren't responding to him on an emotional level at all...one wonders why you married him. Your orgasm is NOT his responsibility, it is yours, and it happens in the brain, so it is mostly attitude.

Answer 8

Yes, sex is the most enjoyable thing to do :). If it is not, then you are doing it with the wrong partner :(...
My advice is to do only what gives you pleasure - your partner will also be satisfied if you are

Answer 9

a) relax
b) talk to your husband about what you like and don't like (if you're saying to yourself "but I don't know..." start experimenting)
c) take what you do like and tell him what could make it better
d) ask what he likes/dislikes
you both might not wanna hear some of what the other has to say, but if you know what's good/bad you'll be much less uncomfortable and once you're not tense it'll be soooooo much better

Answer 10

Did you have sex with this guy before you were married?

If yes, was it crap then, too?

If no, this is exactly why you should have.

Edit: I was merely suggesting that the couple may not be as sexually compatible as most. Get bent, heretic. You feminist-types and your victimhood... Please. It really is pathetic. Everything is the fault of men, right?
Listen to you, "women deserve more satisfaction than men." Aren't you progressive, now?
There was nothing inflammatory about my initial response, but you somehow think you can judge my perceptions of feminine sexuality. Why don't you ask my wife about it, you miserable slag? People like you make me sick.

You're frigid, Amy, there's no hope for you. There, am I dancing to your tune now, heretic? Do those words fill the hole in your self-esteem - that gaping chasm opened by the shameful knowledge that you're 'only a woman?'