I recently posted a question about how to talk to my husband about taking cash out of my wallet without asking me and not bothering to tell me that he's done it.
I make more than he does but I never ever take cash out of his wallet because I know he doesn't have a whole lot of extra. This morning I went to get something at the grocery store and my cash was gone and I was unable to use my card (which he was aware of) to purchase my groceries.
Was this considerate of him? I feel he should have at least mentioned to me that he borrowed it instead of just taking it and not saying anything, am I wrong for feeling this way?
2007-07-13 09:16:58 · 12 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've asked again because I got a lot of flack from people saying I should just suck it up because it's 'our' money. I am not angry that he NEEDED the money, I am upset that he didn't TELL me he took it. Had he told me (not even ASKED) I would not have been the slightest bit upset.
2007-07-13 09:26:56 · update #1
okay yes i do agree with other people that its BOTH of your guys money BUT THAT WASNT THE QUESTION the question was regarding your hubby taking money without asking right? well .... i think that is wrong BECAUSE you know what you are going to do with it and that is exactly what happend today, you got embarrased at the store. yes he is being inconsiderate.... not even leaving an i.o.u note,that is being selfish.... also wtf does he do to his money? go over his spending carefully.... i have a friend that her husband didnt provide for anything but what he did do was give some girl money for rent and food....
2007-07-13 09:42:04 · answer #1 · answered by Belen is my name 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you're right. If he has to go into your purse without telling you to get it, likely HE knows he's wrong too.
If you've already spoken to him and asked him to stop and he hasn't, unfortunately, the only thing left to do is hide your cash and it's a shame that you'd have to do that in your own home to keep your husband from spending all your money.
Most financial advisors tell married couples to have a joint account where both people contribute to a household fund and then they should also have their own indvidual accounts that the spouse doesn't have access to, but if he'd plunder your purse, likely he'd empty out the household fund too.
Perhaps you should talk to a marriage counselor.
2007-07-13 09:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by Chanteuse_ar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop having cash with you, keep it all on your card, only take out the amount of cash you need to buy things and then put what's left back in your account and change your account password if he knows it. He will learn the hard way that he needs to be a big boy and stop being a thief.
2007-07-13 09:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong for feeling that way, and my husband, boyfriend, lesbian lover whatever had better not go into my wallet or purse for a damn thing. That would piss me off. I really don't know what to tell you, because u shouldn't have to hide stuff in your own house, and he should have enough respect not to go in it, when you told him you don't like it. I don't care if he's your husband or not...if you "borrow" something without asking....you are stealing. Good Luck
2007-07-13 09:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your previous question you mentioned that your card's magnetic strip was screwed up - the store clerk can easily just punch in the numbers manually like they used to have to do in that situation...it happens all the time.
It wasn't exactly considerate of him, but he may not have been aware that you felt your card was totally unuseable...you just said he knew you were getting a new one.
Again, I don't quite get why the two of you being married, still treat your finances like you are single.
2007-07-13 09:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he shouldnt be doing that. i believe in keeping finances seperate, it's just better. no fighting. BUT if you make a whole lot more than him maybe you can give him an allowance? extra spending money. totally up to you though. you earned it. start hiding your cash.
2007-07-13 10:13:35 · answer #6 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he should tell you if he is taking money. He should also leave you something too! Try doing it to him once and I'm sure he will realize the errors of his ways ;)
2007-07-13 09:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kit Kat, he should at least ask you before he takes the card. Why don't you hide your purse so he will have to ask you?
2007-07-13 09:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You just asked this, I don't see what is different. Yes, he should ask first.
2007-07-13 09:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by texas tornado 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It becomes a habit. You have to talk to him about it. Make it very clear to him.
2007-07-13 09:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋