Forgive vs. Punish. Do we waste effort to punish those who have wronged us/society that we damage ourselves?

Question

Even religious philosophy is riddled with contradiction over this point; "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" vs. "...forgive men their trespasses", "...forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."
Wars have been waged throughout history over relatively small wrongs (examples anyone?), people become so embittered by personal wrongs that it can ruin their own lives (ie. MobyDick). Is it better to seek retaliation, or do we take a path of peace? If peace is the better option, what of justice? I would really like examples (historical or otherwise) to illustrate your point. - Thank-you!

Answer 1

To allow a wrong to continue is to sanction it and make it not-wrong. For example, if you catch someone cheating at chess and never say anything about it, you are implicitly saying that you are willing to continue playing under those conditions, unfair as they may be. And arguably, you are no longer really playing chess since you have left the rule structure behind.

If you really did want to play chess, then probably the ideal thing to do would be to REFORM the cheater, i.e. get him to stop cheating. There are any number of ways you might do this - prevent him from being able to get away with it, threaten him with an undesirable outcome, clear up rule misunderstandings, remove possible reasons for cheating in the first place, etc - each with varying degrees of effectiveness. Then you get to play your game.

Sometimes, however, reform is not possible. You will have already lost. Your game is ruined. Then you have to think about larger ramifications.

There is little point in injuring the cheater just for injury's sake, or for the sake of justice, unless there is something larger to be gained. Even if you exile the cheater from further gameplay, it might help to set a precedent with other cheaters that you will not tolerate such behaviour. And, of course, some larger countermeasures are just longer-term efforts at reforming the cheater EVENTUALLY, even if not for that one game.

It's just a matter of cost versus return, really. A peace purchased at the price of eternal compromise is nothing other than tyranny, with you as the slave. Some people can accept that. Most would not.

Answer 2

I think that's quite a moral dilemma you bring up. One that can be argues one way or another from now until eternity without a clear cut answer.
Looking through the "Justice" system, especially when you take into consideration the arguments FOR capital punishment, it seems to be used more as a deterrant than a punishment. Laws are more or less guidelines to attempt to keep us on the straight and narrow as fas as society is concerned.
Personally, I would offer this: Choose the path of peace and righteousness....You'll sleep better at night. What of Justice you ask? When their time comes all will be judged by HIM.

Answer 3

First of all the "eye for an eye" was in the Old Testament. When Jesus came into the New Testament, he accepted all sins, thus, the "forgive our debtors". People instinctively want to "get back" as soon as they are wronged, this is human nature, our make up. How many times people have been hurt, injured, humiliated . . . . .fired, divorced, accident . . . . we naturally want justice because our character has been bruised, our honor. When we do get justice, it is enough? Do we feel any better getting back, hurting the person for the sake of justice or gratification? In history, "they" sank that ship, so we are going to bomb them. The Japanese didn't want to surrender so we bombed them. Was that right? The controversy still goes on today as to what we did to the Japanese people, but what did they do to us? Embitterment can take the life out of the human spirit. I have been wronged by so many in my lifetime, yet, I think to myself, is it worth holding a grudge? Do I harbor any ill feelings toward that person or company? For a while yes, then I rationalize to myself, what good is this doing me, is it making my life easier, happier. I think the bottom line is, if we can, it is so much easier to live your life forgiving, let God take care of the situation when he judges us all.

Answer 4

I have always felt that clinging to your anger is a complete waste of effort. Most times, the accused is completely oblivious to your resentment in the first place, which makes you the only person affected by the situation. My saying this is hypocritical, however, as I openly admit to harboring resentful feelings towards others on more than one occasion. But then again, who hasn’t? It’s in our nature as humans to hold grudges, to be unforgiving of someone who has hurt us. It’s a natural defense mechanism: we don’t want to be hurt again, so we build up our little wall of protection – a wall we often disguise as bitterness and resentment, or perhaps as vengefulness. Like Travis said, anger is a hard emotion to just turn off. We are expected to forgive and forget, to turn the other cheek, but don’t we all wish it were as simple as that? To suggest that we should be immediately capable of forgiveness, and of turning it over to God for the deliverance of justice, is far too simplistic of an answer for me. I understand it’s what we are taught, especially by our religious leaders, and I agree that it’s something we should all strive towards…but I also realize that it’s not always a simple matter of just shrugging it off. People’s feelings and emotions run deep, and I think it’s ok to be mad for a while. There will come a time when you need to say enough is enough, I don’t want to carry this burden anymore, and that’s when it should be turned over to God. But, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the initial “I hate you for what you did to me” response.

(I have to add, of course, that retaliation is never a good solution. It puts us on a lower level than the person who wronged us initially, and will only contribute to a deepening sense of self-reproach.)

Answer 5

I think often we pass too much of a sentence on prisoners. It is good though that people are sent in to spend time with them and be their friends. They need that interaction and good people to be around other wise they will just grow bitter and develop a hatred for people they feel have no love for them. Honestly years in prison is much. It should be until evaluators feel prisoners display a readiness to go back into civilized life and not a exact time sentence. The people evaluating should also be constantly evaluated as they are representatives of what is considered to be right and correct. There should be a loop of checking. There are some stories of even guards who are as messed up as the prisoners. Yes forgiveness is important but prisoners should also display repentance in a way that they desire to change which is also important and people should not be released who will go back to their old habbits. It is to bad often people are locked up and forgotten about. It should never be that way. Jesus came and changed much of people concepts about an eye for an eye. Jesus said if a person would attack you turn the other cheek. Remember the time in the Bible when one of Jesus apostles cuts off the ear of one of the men arresting Jesus. Jesus scolded his apostle and healed the mans ear. The contradiction you are referring to was a change from the condemning of Gods laws which are right but which we are unable to live by perfectly and will condemn all of us to separation from God eternally. Jesus changed that. God merged the law with mercy upon the coming of Jesus. Foretold in the Garden of Eden on Gods curse against the serpent when he told the serpent that the seed of the woman (Jesus) would crush the serpents head (authority). The law is strict but Gods love can save us from it if we accept his love.

Answer 6

This is a tough one because I am all for peace and I never hurt anyone intentionally. However, what do we do as a society when pedophiles run around abusing and killing kids? Norway hasn't had a person killed in their prison for over 100 years. They also have 9 women in their govt. (I may be off here). Anyone from Norway care to tell us how you guys do it?

Answer 7

Although we personally need to forgive in order to avoid becoming bitter, society needs to 'punish' wrongdoing as a deterrent and, in the case of serious crime, to protect the public by preventing the murderer/rapist/paedophile from offending again.

Answer 8

Sorry yet Nope He wont be punished God keen. He became into basically attempting to make you a greater perfect muslimah and that's a accountability that became into enjoined on him by utilising Allaah(swt) and he did it his very own way beating you:-( Now did he supply you any scares? Did he ever make you bleed? i wish not. i'm kinda of advantageous he did not inflict considerable injuries as a father who's that throughout touch approximately your deen might understand greater perfect. If he did not motivate you to choose and that i'm fantastically advantageous that he used to conquer you in basic terms once you refused it. yet whilst he did not try this and you ended up as a fasiq infant or non muslim that could have been a much bigger punishment for him. the way I see it you will possibly desire to forgive him and don't even see it as a punishment see it as ni3ma from Allaah(swt) that He gave you a father who became into so in touch approximately your deen and your nicely-being. Now its your turn to choose for him... Allahuma aghfirlee wali walidaye(wa abee in ur case) war7amhumaa kama rabayaane sagheera. ok candies I understand what you recommend.The ppl I grew up used to conquer the crap out of me if i did not sparkling their friggin abode. lolz. They on no account inspired me to choose nor placed on hijab Alhamdullillaah I did all that at 19 whilst Allaah guided me. specific your father did it the incorrect way yet the place we are from it quite is the only way they understand to enhance a infant...maximum of them. My mom and pa on no account touched me they the place against beatings. salaams.

Answer 9

Does not believe in justice, it “just is”. There is no righteousness only selfishness.

I once heard it said that justice is a mix of vengeance and making sure the wrong does not reoccur.

Answer 10

When we forgive someone were telling them that we still accept them in our community. That forgiveness can have no conditions as that would go to punishment .