Analytically tell me how "bad" that UNFAITHFULNESS is. From at least 2 - 3 different methods of reasoning.

Question

How bad is "unfaithfulness" in a marriage where both husband and wife take a vow.

How do circumstances which lead to cheating affect the method of your reasoning--do certain factors augment or diminish the way you feel about it (of course yes, but how specifically).

Have you ever been unfaithful or subject to unfaithfulness (need not specifically be married, but committed).

What factors do you take blame for, and do you use logical methods and reasoning to understand your feelings analytically?

Answer 1

Statistically, it is men who are more likely to be unfaithfull. Besides that, they tend to lustfully lunge opportunistically into the situation. Contrast that to women who've been unfaithful. They tend to struggle with such a thing.

To begin to understand how bad this might be, some historical background may be helpful.

Theoretically, men & women evolved from pre-human creatures where males were unfaithful and females were not. Despite the cultural veneer we now have in place, this pro-lineage runs powerfully in our genes. I'm talking about going back to homohabilus and before. Say as far back as a million years up to only about 100,000 years ago. See, in those days, the tribe was ran by one dominant male who got all the females

One theory I've heard is that marriage is the result of weak men getting together (thousands of years ago, of course) and coming up with a system which allows them to get female attention. So, even though these days it's women who long for marriage more than men...you see it may have been men who started the system.

But, extrapolating forward to today, the more of an "Alpha male" the man is...the harder it will be for him to control the urge to be unfaithful.

Of course, modern mankind has the power of the mind to implement self control. But biological, historical, genetic urges can be a potent distraction.

Now, these days, I think the biggest problem is that society has turned a blind eye to the historical record. Those inclined to cheat and those cheated on, both seem to be in a state of "ignorance is bliss." This only multiplies the pain and suffering when the inexorable happens.

Finally then, unfaithfulness is not bad in a historical sense...and this is a very powerfull opperand on a male. It is, however, horrible in a one-on-one in the moment sense. Recognizing that dichotomy, which one is causing to subject himself to, is paramount PRIOR to making the commitment in the first place.

PS,
I think the other answers you've received are stark evidence that we, in this day and age, have turned a blind eye to the historical record...and therefore, suffer through this problem of fidelity because of it. To do the opposite, which would be to embrace the knowledge and lessons from the past, could significantly help those who choose to enter a long term comitted relationship.

Answer 2

I was cheated on once, with a fiance. Technically not marriage I know, but pretty close.

1- unfaithfulness is bad no matter which way you look at it. If the both of you have taken vows, then that's it, til death do you part.

2-My ex-fiance's reasoning was I wasn't happy with him, therefore he had the right to cheat, since in his mind we were going to break up anyways. OK yeah, the guy was an idiot.

3-I have been tempted once or twice in all fairness, but you know what? Takes far less work to just walk away then to commit the act.

4-I finally came to the conclusion it was just not meant to be. My ex-fiance justified himself by getting married to the woman he cheated on me with. Which lasted a year.

Unfaithfulness never pays off for anyone.

Answer 3

There is no good to cheating. It's wrong,period. If you vow to love someone then prove it by staying faithful no matter what. If you can't stay true then you shouldn't be married in the first place.

Answer 4

unfaithfullness is not bad. It is AWESOME. Especially if you are married to a ding bat, like me. She's all like "Where were you?" and I just pull something out of the air on the spot like "looking for a present for you". And guess what? She even forgets the next day that i am getting her a present, so I dont even have so waste any money getting out of trouble.