I'm 16 and a female. Alright, so I've recently come out of the closet to few friends and my parents. I also play soccer and the basically put soccer before relationships, I've recently broken up with a girlfriend b/c one of my teammates came close to finding out.(I know it was a horrible thing to do and I still haven't forgiven myself for it even though she has). I don't exactly know what I want to ask. I guess I just need some advice on how to, I don't know work with my teammates or something. Two or three of them know and are okay with it, but the rest of them wouldn't be so cool about it. I just don't think I'd be able to handle it if I was kicked off the team for being a lesbian. If you have anything that may be to some use, please let me know. Just don't give any crap about breaking up with that girl I know it was wrong.
2007-07-13 07:13:57 · 8 answers · asked by Halinator 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thanks, this really helped.
2007-07-13 07:49:28 · update #1
first of all you have to think clear what is more important to you. sure it was really wrong to brake up with your friend because of gossip or misjudgement. but it's too late now, anyway. you have to chose between soccer/hobbies/career and personal life/friends/love. you're still young, but it's good that you go through this early. i don't think you won't be able to play soccer because you are gay. the actual problem is your attitude. you care too much about what people think. you should do what makes you happy, not what others say/want. this is your own life, no one lives it but you. the others may even not exist, so you have to do everything that makes you happy. be strong! stand up for your beliefs, and especially for your style. people should love you and accept you for who you are, not for who you struggle to be for their sake. we are here for you. we support you. you are not alone. you are normal, you can have friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, play soccer, be accomplished and do whatever you please at the same time! i wish you strength to go through this. and be thankful for having your friend, others don't have this luck. be friends with her again and stand up in front of your soccer team-mates. it's your life, not theirs. we are here for you, i at least. and i disagree with what i said earlier ( =)) ) , you do not have to chose, you can have both. it's up to you! be strong and be you!
2007-07-13 07:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by buzzbuzz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They can't kick you off the team for being a lesbian, because that's definitely discrimination... I'm fairly certain they don't want a lawsuit on their hands.
Anyway, what makes you think that the others won't be so accepting of it? A lot of people spout a lot of bull when they don't actually KNOW someone who is gay... that doesn't mean they won't accept them. Especially at 16, you're still at the age where acceptance by friends is everything, and you still have the popular people making fun of everyone else... exaggeration, of course, but you know what I mean. It's possible that anything they say about gays is just blowing hot air. If they're your friends at all, they won't mind.
2007-07-13 14:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sara H 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let me ask you this, if you're happy with other girls and enjoy being in a relationship with them, what makes it any different than another soccer team member and their boyfriend? You're each dating someone you find attractive, someone you care about and who cares about you, and someone you can talk to. What makes you dating another girl any different?
If you're happy, why does it matter if they know or not? If they reject you in any way, it only makes them wrong. You can't be kicked off the team because you're a lesbian, that's discrimination and you can file a lawsuit against it if anything happens. Love is love - it doesn't matter who you love or what you love, just THAT you love.
2007-07-13 14:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by Alley S. 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I thought it was your coach that determined who could be on the team. Wouldn't it be discrimination to kick you off?
I suppose if you want to come out to all your team members, you could get them all together and tell them all at the same time, "Look, I'm a lesbian. But no offense, I'm not even remotely interested in dating any of you. You are too much like sisters to me. So I just wanted you to know."
How does that sound?
2007-07-13 14:23:46 · answer #4 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If the team means that much to you , just wait to come out till youre 18, and its less of an issue .
2007-07-13 21:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand what you are saying and it's tough when you are younger and even as you get older.
I may get slack for saying this, but I seriously doubt you are the one lone lesbian on the team.
2007-07-13 14:21:09 · answer #6 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
what you do in your personal life should stay personal. i mean your girlfriend can just act like a friend in public. i work with my partner and no one here knows were together they think were best friends and that's how it will stay. in other words keep ya mouth quite and keep secrets
2007-07-13 14:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry to hear that.
2007-07-13 14:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by robleswilber 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋