I am leaving for a weekend with a girl who I am going to have my first bi experience with. She is into the whole BDSM thing and am told I will be expected to learn to be her slave. We're attending a costume party tonight and tomorrow one of her cousin's wedding. She has told me for the wedding she has picked a thin pink doggie collar for me to wear. I am told this a strict condition that I must comply to. I've seen the collar and it has a nametag on it reading Candy. I am told I will be introduced by that name. I am torn because it sounds so exciting but on the same note very scary. Any other girls out there ever experience anything like this? I really could use some advice.
2007-07-13 06:47:49 · 14 answers · asked by Curious type 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
into gay sex. Embrace it.
2007-07-13 06:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would experiment first with her in seclusion, to get a feel over whether this is something that you're comfortable with -we're talking 2 things here:
1. bisexuality, IE. your making love with another female
2. BDSM - here you would be well trying things out, as this may not be your thing at all - you can also learn a bit about how you do this stuff, and what your comfort zones are.
As others point out, you need a word to use for 'STOP', or even leave the place. Your limits are your sanctuary, and must be respected.
You also need to consider whether you are respecting yourself by being publicly humiliated. BDSM is great and healthy for those into it-this is your first time for these 2 things, and so you might find either is not for you, as well as BDSM transgresses your self-respect.
Just some thoughts. If you're OK with it, go ahead and have a ball.
Good luck! Rob
2007-07-14 07:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by Rob E 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you and she fully understand that this is just role playing (to the extreme but consenual). Make sure that you have "safe words" that will stop or modify the role playing as needed. Make sure your limits are defined ahead of time.
If this girl won't agree with any of that then - Do not go with her.
BDSM is a matter of trust and communication on all the parties involved.
The Master/Mistress and slave relationship/role playing should be defined before anything happens. You may not want to go as deply into it as she does (or vice versa).
The Master/Mistress trusts that the slave will know their (the slaves) limits and communicate them and also communicate when the limit is reached or something is going wrong.
The slave trusts that the Master/Mistress knows what they are doing and will adhere to limits set and observe the safe words.
Consider everything carefully. If you decide to go - have fun. I wonder if she will have a leash on that collar.
[Yeah, I know - I'm a guy but I have done some looking into BDSM to see if I wanted to get into it (I haven't - yet)]
2007-07-13 14:07:20 · answer #3 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am of the opinion that if everyone is ok with what's happening, than it's ok (except things that will cause permanent harm). That said, I wouldn't have your first expereince of this kind include a very public situation and an important family event, such as a wedding. Honestly, I think it's quite disrespectful to show up at the wedding engaged in your own SM world. And if you show up at an event like that, it's hard to stop things if you want out. Skip the wedding part of the deal, try things someother weekend when you can step out if you need to.
2007-07-13 13:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by OceanSwimmer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try it and if you enjoy it that is a bonus.
If not just let your partner know and stop it although you should probably discuss before the wedding.
If it gets too much - just walk away - as an adult no one can make you stay but you might enjoy it Have fun anyway
2007-07-14 17:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by Briu1970 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live life to the full and go for it
2007-07-13 15:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you go set up a safe word. one that wouldn't get used in normal conversation. If you do this you can stop anything you're not happy with.
If your girlfriemd won't agree to this...........don't go.
Only do what you are happy to.
2007-07-13 14:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by Cpt Jack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont over think things, if u worry too much than things go wrong, just relax lay back, and things should go as planned.
2007-07-13 13:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by ~*michelle*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
weird, thats stuff yall should do in the bedroom not in front of people. why would she want to put you out like that.
2007-07-13 14:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax and enjoy it, i mean what can happen - if anything will! - in a public place right...
2007-07-13 14:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by juejua 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you are told. I would love to go in your place. Please have her contact me if she needs more slaves.
2007-07-13 13:58:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋