my STB Ex-husband (as stated in an earlier post today) left me for another woman 2 1/2 months ago and she is now pregnant, possibly with his kid. but he has began to call and text me, spilling out all of his feelings, and confiding in me. a month ago all i got from him was "i hate you, i can't stand to even look at you, i wish i never had to see or hear from you again". we have a 2 y/o daughter together, so that's not possible. but i just dont get it ... if he has this other woman (whom he DOES talk about when confiding in me and telling me how torn and depressed he is), then why isn't he crying (literally) to her and telling her all these things? why is he calling and texting ME? he's telling me all this stuff i never thought he would, but stops short when he gets to "there are things i want that i know i can't have" i ask what they are, and he pauses and sayd "i can't tell you". please, GUYS, give me some insight here? why????
2007-07-13 06:37:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course i wanna hear from the girls out there too, your opinions count as well, i just thought, you know, "guys know how guys think" ;)
2007-07-13 06:40:17 · update #1
I suggest only communicating with him regarding the parenting schedule of your daughter and issues that concern your daughter, and nothing else. Time to move on with your life and focus your energy into raising your daughter. Give her the best possible experiences and don't fret over the feelings of your soon to be ex-husband.
2007-07-13 06:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by broncoFan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not fall into the dating-advice trap of thinking that "men and women are totally different, and they're also both totally homogeneous within their respective sexes." No, I don't know how guys think, because all three billion of us are different and we don't all share any styles of thought, nor for the same reason do I know how women think.
Despite what you or others may believe, all guys are not couch potato sex-addicts, and all women are not jewelry-obsessed control freaks. I hate stereotypes.
I wish people would see others as PEOPLE. Want good communication with your partner? Do it that way. Don't base your behavior on preconceived notions of gendered behavior. It is fake and inherently judgmental and you will never connect.
That said, I don't have half a clue what's going through the mind of the man in question. Perhaps he's just unhappy and going through a severe mental crisis, as many PEOPLE do in their lives.
2007-07-13 15:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this man was being selfish, left you to be with some other woman he was hott for, then finds out she's pregnant and probably doesn't want to be with her now so he's calling you hoping he can get you back....i mean, one minute he can't stand you and now he calls you and says these things, he probably doesn't want to go through the whole pregnancy thing and all that again.....i just think it's wrong of him, it's a decision you have to make, talk to him, ask him why things have changed?.....hope you find a solution
2007-07-13 13:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing it because you are letting him. This is typical. Stop being so naive. He wants his cake and eat it too. I've seen this so many times. The guy leaves his girlfriend or wife to be with someone else and before you know it, the woman he left ends up being his MISTRESS. That is some BULLSHIT. I have done some silly and stupid things for 'love' in the past but this is one thing I have always said I would NEVER do. There is no way I'm going to sleep with a man who left me for another woman only to become the "other woman" how degrading is that. Stop communication with this man. Keep it to "child talk" only. He's an asshole. Next time he calls tell him HE left YOU. That he made his bed now go lay in it. Good luck.
2007-07-13 13:44:22 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
His life is spinning out of control and that's why he is behaving the way he does and saying the things he says. He thought the grass was greener on the other side and then found out it was a cesspool. If I were you, I would just stand by and watch from a distance as this mess he made of his life rages on. When the dust settles, you can take inventory and see what is left of him as a husband and a father to your kid.
2007-07-13 13:47:06 · answer #5 · answered by suki's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes confused and doesnt know what he wants, maybe at the time he thought it would be a good thing to go off with this other woman and maybe hes startign to realize that leaving you for her wasnt the best idea. but its sounds like to me that if you get back together with him that youll have never ending drama. if he was so unhappy about being with this girl than why is he telling you and not just leaving her and going back to you. you have to wonder what he does and how he acts after he hangs up that phone. if I were you I would straight up tell him that if hes not gonna tell you what it is he wants, than you have no time and you have to get off the phone. when people start acting like they dont care is when people start taking you serious.
2007-07-13 14:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by luvleebabygurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left you for this girl, she is now pregnant, so you know the sex with her is going to stop. That's why the calla and text, he's lonely and wants to get back with you. He is just a dog and the best thing you can do is cut him off.
Unless he has questions about his daughter I would not talk to him or let him come over. If he want to see his daughter I would meet him at a park or someplace in public. Don't fall for any lies, he cheated on you and now wants to come back...
2007-07-13 13:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by harold 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like to me that he is freaking out about the other girl being pregnant. Maybe he thought he'd be able to have somewhat of a life without a child and now that is gone. he could be regretting the decision that he made and is opening up to you to test the waters regarding a reconciliation.
2007-07-13 13:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Draw the line. When he calls let him know that you will only speak about anything that concerns your daughter and that is it. If he tries to go on about other things, just hang up on him. He will eventually get the hint.
2007-07-13 13:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he keeps contacting you and spilling the beans it means he actually prefers you over the new gf and probably always has. he has more confidence in you than her... he only went with her because he was missing something in his relationship with you (probably he needed more sex) and was really angry about it. well, now its too late. the tramp hes with now could "possibly" be having his kid. who know who it belongs to... my guess why he cant tell you everything is because he doesnt want to be rejected again...
2007-07-13 13:56:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋