The sun slowly rises
Only to fade away
Then goes into the night
With a cool midnight spray
We sleep sound in our beds
With peacefulness at bay
Only to be awakened
With the begining of a new day
2007-07-13 06:06:24 · 19 answers · asked by IslandOfApples 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Mother Goose. lol. That was funny.
2007-07-13 08:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peacefulness at bay? Is it opposite day in the Poetry section?
The sun spits morning into the sky
Bald headed domed ones are destined to fry.
Before the night freezes their naked head
Inspiring a hot shower and off to bed.
Snoring like a lumberjack,
A restive peace, alas, alack
For all too soon the alarm clock brays,
Don't you really hate Mondays?
2007-07-13 18:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 out of 10!
2007-07-13 13:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by Michael 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a really nice poem. It makes sense and its easy to read. U should take this poem along with the other ones youve posted on yahoo answers and make a book of poems and decorate it or something.(if you already havent) Short and sweet. Really nice post. :-)
Please...I would really like it if u took a look at my poem that I posted and tell me what u think. :-)
2007-07-13 15:23:19 · answer #4 · answered by MrRyan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats great! but the last line needs to flow smoother like the rest of the poem try "with the start of a new day" ~xoxox
2007-07-13 13:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Erin Elaine. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh....our life so short!
only words.
or words only
Sun, night, Day Come and going
Are we....
Wow...life is so long
are we..
Some time it is true a next time?
wooo...life so Short
............
I am appreciating your poem. It is good!
I make some poem, only for you.
Good Luck!
Roberth M
2007-07-13 13:19:43 · answer #6 · answered by roberth m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe try using less common words like goes=traversed, slowly=cautiosly/precariously, and maybe add in adjectives like colors.
im no critic, im just trying to be helpful!!
but it sounds great so far!
2007-07-13 13:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by Benhamin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. you're so good at writing poetry and you are really really really pretty! that is one of the best poems ive ever heard and it is wrotten by a gorgeous girl!!
2007-07-13 13:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it! It has great wording! your going to be the next mother goose!
2007-07-13 13:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by Ginny2233 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow!!!!!! its really good. im an amature writer and my poems usually NEVER come out right. well not like that lol. its awsome.
2007-07-13 13:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by ♥jazalynn loves her bf!♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋