2007-07-13 05:47:10 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
me and my boyfriend were very calm about me getting an abortion
BUT
HAVING AN ABORTION HAS CHANGED MY LIFE
in march 2007, i found out i was 6 1/2 - 7 weeks pregnant...
i didnt plan on getting pregnant. I had been with my boyfriend for a little over a year at that point. He was my first and only. When i got pregnant.. i had noone to talk to.. the only person that i even told was my bf.. the two friends that were close to me.. were gone on vacation for 3 months.. and i couldnt get a hold of them.. i couldnt tell my family because they are very strict.. i didnt even used to come on these websites at that time... my view of abortions was COMPLETELY different then.. i always thought that if i get preg. i can always go get an abortion done.. n thought its so easy n NOT A BIG DEAL.. i thought its just a little procedure.. me and my bf didnt really talk about it much.. we just thought it was the right thing to do.. so i made an appointment.. he came with me... we went in.. even at that time i wasnt really worried or scared or nething..
when i got there.. there was some paper work i had to do.. then this counsellor spoke to me.. and also gave me two little pills to eat.. after that i had an ultrasound.. they confirmed that i was 8 weeks pregnant at that time.. so i went into the room.. and i laid there.. the doctor first inserted her whole finger in.. THAT hurt.. and then she began the procedure... it only took like 4 minutes total. but it was EXTREMELY painful.. i felt as if my whole body was shook.. it was the WORST feeling ever.. it felt like she was holding a knife and scrapping it inside me.. it felt awful.. after that.. the other nurse helped me walk to this other room.. where there were other girls who had just gotten it done too.. i had to lay on this comfy seat thing.. i felt realy faint.. i could barely walk.. i felt dizzy.. at that point i still wasnt regretting it though.. the lady gave us all mountain dew to drink.. we had to keep drinking as much as we can.. and also gave us crackers.. she gave me 2 antibiotics to take home.. and told me to eat with my next meal.. after about 20 mins of rest on those chairs ... n drinkin mountain dew.. i changed and went outside.. my boyfriend was sittin there waitin for me.. he was trying to be very supportive at that time... when we got into the car n drove away.. i threw up.. the pain stayed.. i bled for almost 6 weeks.. (i think the 5th) week was when i got my period... after that i started to have these bad feelings.. i felt empty.. thats when it started.. i went on different websites.. and read about abortions.. and found out how the fetus has a heartbeat at 6 weeks.. I FELT AWFUL ..i even remember once i had these bad pains before my abortion.. went to ER and the nurse told me that the fetus is good and healthy.. at that time i just thought of it as a little dot ... then i read how the fetus's body starts to form... and he/she can feel pain durin the abortion and the WORST THING was when i look at images of a 8 week embryo.. I CRIED and cried.. it was way too late.. i felt like ****.. and still do.. i REGRET IT MORE THAN ANYTHING... i dont know what i was thinking.. i wish i WENT ON THESE WEBSITES BEFORE THE ABORTION AND HAD MORE INFO. I WISH I TALKED TO SOMEONE... i regret it.. and i would say to ANYONE that is planning or EVEN CONSIDERING to get an abortion done DO NOT DO IT PLZ.. if u can raise a child.. then just give him/her up for abortion.. ABORTION IS LIKE MURDER.. plz learn from my story.. I wanna stop as many people as possible from getting an abortion.. thats probably the only way i can feel a little better about it..
2007-07-13 05:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
No abortion clinic is going to fake anything. If you want the baby, move away and have the baby and be the best mother you can be. As already mentioned don't put his name on the birth certificate - leave the name as Unknown if you don't want him to have access. When you move to California file to legally change your name if you are worried about him finding you A friend of mine had an abortion when she was 21 because her bf at the time did not want kids and threatened to break up with her if she didn't get an abortion. She had no backbone and listened to him, and guess what -- 6 months later he broke up with her anyway. But the worst part is, she's now 33 and married and cannot get pregnant. She and her husband have been doing fertility treatments for almost 3 years with no luck. She is completely depressed and angry and will always wonder if that abortion she had because of a dick was her only change to ever have a child of her own and she messed it up
2016-05-17 03:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every woman has to make that choice for herself. If a woman wants the baby or is anti-abortion, then she can't be forced to do it against her will. The guy only has a say before having sex with a woman. After that, the ball is in her court. Abortion is not a form of birth control. If you don't want to get pregnant, do things to prevent it. That means an hormonal birth control and a back up method like a condom. If a man doesn't want to have a kid, he should think about keeping "it" in his pants. If he brings "it" out, he has to accept responsibility for what happens.
2007-07-13 05:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by Delete 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do whatever you feel good about doing. Remember, you will live with your decision for the rest of your life. It doesn't really sound like you want to have an abortion. Talk to him about what you want. Abortion is final, that is a huge life changing event ~ It will change your life just like having the baby would.
Also remember ~ you having an abortion based on the fact that he is calm and willing to pay for it is like doing crack because the dealer is a friend and willing to buy you the drugs.
2007-07-13 05:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by memememe 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Girl, i know so many women that have made it without a man in their lives that my list is too long to list. You dont need a man to have a baby, take care of him/her, and be happy. If you want this baby have it, and you will never regret it. If you have an abortion because of this fool, you will not only regret it for the rest of your life, but you will always feel mad about the fact that you let a man influence the most important decision of your life, motherhood. After this, I dont think this relationship will go further even if you have an abortion so just kick him to the curb unless he learns to respect your right to choose whats right for you.
2007-07-13 05:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by YE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman should do what she wants when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion. If she wants to go through with the pregnancy than she should. If she feels abortion is the right choice for her, than yeah take up the man's offer. Both the support of choice and money are very helpful when abortion is chosen as the best choice in the situation.
2007-07-14 22:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by Tiffany 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't matter what he wants. It matters what YOU want. Yes you can consider his feelings and reactions to help you make your decision but make your own decision. You will carry a baby for 9 months, you will have the baby, and YOU will have to raise it for the rest of your life! If you want the baby then have it. If you don't then don't. It all falls on your shoulders. The most he is gonna be responsible for in all reality is financial support for the rest of the child's life. And even that can be a headache to get! So worry about you and what you want! Make your own decision! He could be excited about having the baby right now and leave a month after so. Or he could be absolutely against it now and end up being there for the baby for the rest of his life. You can't count on other people! Count on yourself!
2007-07-13 05:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by MelancHolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your body and you'll be the one living with choices you made and the choice to have an abortion is something you will always remember even later when you are ready to have children you will look at your own and wonder about that baby you let go. So I say make your choice carefully b/c he may go about his life unaffected but you can not effect your scares from an abortion. It will be in your medical records and will follow you around forever so ask yourself can you handle that.
Good Luck, the choice is yours but I know people who would love to have babies and can't so if you can't take care of the baby look into adoption!!
2007-07-13 06:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, but I don't believe in abortion. If you want to keep the baby then keep the baby, and if not then their is always adoption. You shouldn't do what a guy wants you to do simply b/c he's willing to pay for it.
Their are programs and tons of people who love to help new mothers, and their is always your family. If you don't want to do that then look into open adoptions. You have many options, but I don't think that killing your baby is the right answer.
2007-07-13 05:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to do whatever your heart tells you is best. Don't let him influence your decision in any way, or anyone on Yahoo Answers. It's 100% your decision and 100% your body.
I would like to tell you though (and again, don't let me influence... I'm just sharing with you) that lots of men will offer this because they are afraid of raising a child and don't want the responsibility. It happened to a good friend of mine. He offered to pay for it, told her he'd still be with her but only if the pregnancy was terminated, she was confused and didn't want to lose him so she went ahead and did it. Three months later he left, anyway, for another girl of course, and she was left with the regret of what had happened. She told me she's never regretted anything so much in her life. She said the whole experience was horrible, the people in the office were rough with her and she said she saw things she still can't get out of her mind. She always wonders what her baby would have looked like, and with every month that passes she'll say things like,"my baby would have been like eight months old by now, probably crawling..." It's very sad to watch her go through this.
On my side of things, I have a one and a half year old little boy, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's so sweet. He comes up to me and hugs me and kisses me. The first time he said "Mama" I nearly died because it was so sweet. He puts things in the trash for me and brings me my shoes in the morning... it's just such an amazing bond between mother and child that unless you have you cannot imagine. It's a bond much deeper than that of man and woman, in my opinion.
Whatever you decide to do, be sure you do it for YOU because you feel it's what your heart is saying. Don't do it for the father.... don't do it for family, parents, etc.... don't do it for fear of not being able to make it (if it gets hard theres always govt help) don't do it for anyone in the entire world but you. And please, make sure it's what YOU really want and that YOU will be able to live with it forever... because when I look at my friend while she talks about it, she's having a hell of time with it....
I wish you all the best.
2007-07-13 05:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by shellj_foxy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should. You will have a lifetime to regret having an abortion. Adoption is a clear and good alternative if you are not ready to be a parent. There are millions of couples in this world who are and would be willing to pay your medical costs.
2007-07-13 05:54:25 · answer #11 · answered by maddie1979 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋