why should i feel bad about giong out on a date if were seperared and the divorce is not final? shes been going out after i left in may. do two wrongs make it right?
2007-07-13 05:37:29 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not ready to date yet. Take your time. You'll know when you're ready!
2007-07-13 05:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I say go for it and do not feel bad . IF you are getting divorced and there is no chance for reconciliation. Take care of yourself and don't base your decisions on what she is or isn't doing. A date is a date and keep it at that , I think it is the one most important issue to not become emotionally involved with anyone else at this time. Keep a date a date . Make new friends for sure. Its personally a turn on to know a man is emotionally taking care of himself. Take the time to heal from your marriage . You know when your ready. Emotional baggage will be sure to follow into your next relationship if you don't take the time to heal now . That don't mean you can't still have fun and be around people.
2007-07-13 06:15:53 · answer #2 · answered by margo322 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a seperation means different things to different people. Back in May, you two should have discussed what your seperation is entitled to. If you guys are considering divorce, but wanted space first, just to see if maybe there could be a reconciliation. To me, that means giving each other space and experiencing "your own" life. So does that mean dating other people? Maybe. Sleeping with other people? I would say that isn't necessary. Maybe the two of you should go to a couples counsleor (as a mediator) and decide what the "rules" are during your seperation. Good Luck, I know it's hard.......
2007-07-13 05:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by BrusselSprouts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think what she is doing is wrong so how can you possibly be wrong? I don't understand the need to put off dating. If the two of you wanted to be together you would have stayed together. Being lonely and miserable does not help your situation at all. I'm not saying "take it all the way" with someone else, but a friendly date in a nice social environment sounds like it's just what you need. Never mind what your soon-to-be ex-wife is doing. Live your life---not hers.
2007-07-13 05:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I think that you should divorce before dating but that's just my opinion. My husband and I were seperated and while I was under the impression that we were working things out, he had other girlfriends and moved in with one of them. We are now in the process of getting divorced. That being said, if she is dating as well, I guess that's not a problem, but for me it was hurtful and I will not start dating until after my divorce is final. I wish the best of luck.
2007-07-13 05:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage is over and there is a divorce in progress, you are not cheating on your wife. You should be honest with the person you are dating in case they have any reservations about you being "technically married." Maybe you still have feelings for your wife and want to remain married to her. If she refuses to consider making another attempt, there's nothing more you can do. If you're going to date, don't think about your wife while you're with someone else, and don't talk to your date about her. Good luck.
2007-07-13 05:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a rare man...someone many women would want to know. Clearly you are not ready...and it is smart to admit that to yourself.
It may seem as though you should be able to do it, since she is, but in the longrun you will be so much further ahead if you go with your good instincts and give it some time. I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it can't be easy...but I hope you have some good friends to hang with, or a local church who will support you.
2007-07-13 10:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating........ going out......... there is nothing wrong with that, considering that you are almost a free man. But have you had time to heal from your marriage ending? It takes time to feel normal again, especially if the end of your marriage was dramatic.
Personally I would say that YOU will know when its time to date... no one on these boards can tell you. There is no time line... you just know it when its right.
Meanwhile, don't be hard on yourself. Go out with friends instead of "dates". Have some fun.
2007-07-13 05:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you feel so bad because you are not sure if this is right or maybe you feel as if your are cheating and even though she is already seeing other people does not mean that is something you have to do, you dont have to follow other peoples actions when you feel that there are not right, you really just need to think about what is really going on with you right now!
2007-07-13 05:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by ~Jayme~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesnt sound like there is anything wrong going on here. obviously you still have some feelings for your soon to be ex and thats to be expected. but if you are separated and about to be divorced then her dating someone isnt wrong. that doesnt mean you need to as well. in fact, you need to go through whatever process necessary to get you to a place where you can move on. maybe it will take you longer than its taking her. its not a competition though and ultimately if she is your ex it doesnt matter what she is doing.
2007-07-13 05:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by asg_is_chillin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separated means your not with one another anymore....Divorce means you live your own life....It really shouldn't be a matter of wrongs but, a matter of are you truly ready to date again?? Don't put yourself out there if your not ready just because she's doing it...It will mean more when your doing it for yourself and you will be more open to new things and experiences....Allow yourself the room to get over this hard time in your life so later on there's no excuses for closures....I hope you find your own happiness and best wihes on your new journey of being single again.....
2007-07-13 05:52:00 · answer #11 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋